The Single Woman And The Fairytale Prince

by Kaufmann, Jean-Claude

• ISBN13: 9780745640501
• ISBN10: 0745640508
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-10-13
• Publisher: Polity

Summary

The number of one-person households is rising steeply all over the world and a growing proportion of these 'new singles' are women. It is estimated that one woman in three lives on her own. This development reflects general social trends, ranging from rising divorce rates to the growing professionalization of women and their dissatisfaction with a traditional model that offers them a future organized solely around 'husband-baby-home'. At the same time, the attractions of that model still linger and the fairytale prince is by no means a figure from a story or a remote past. Even in an age in which the internet promises that love is 'just a click away', many women still wait for their prince to come. Jean-Claude Kaufmann's sympathetic study of the lives, aspirations and sometimes despair of the 'new single women' is based mainly on an analysis of a sample of the hundreds of letters sent to Marie-Claire magazine after it published a first-hand account of the single life. Funny, touching and at times profoundly sad, the letters paint a collective portrait of the single woman and her life that is both intimate and socially significant. Kaufmann concludes by situating their stories in a broad comparative context and considering the possible impact of novel phenomena such as the recent vogue for 'mail-order brides'.

Author Biography

Jean-Claude Kaufmann, Commissioning Editor in Media and Cultural Studies, History and Literature, CNRS and University of Paris V Sorbonne

Table of Contents

List of Tables and Figures	p. ix
Foreword to the New Edition	p. x
Acknowledgements	p. xvi
Introduction	p. xvii
Is There a Model for Private Life?
Living Alone: A Long History	p. 3
What Marriage Was	p. 3
Intolerable Celibacy	p. 4
Great Buffalo Woman	p. 5
Celibacy Becomes Legitimate	p. 6
A Maid in Men's Clothes	p. 7
Introspection	p. 8
The World Turned Upside Down	p. 10
The Nineteenth Century: The Main Trend Begins	p. 11
Grisettes and Phalansteries	p. 14
The Break	p. 16
Dark Times	p. 18
The American Model	p. 19
The Scandinavian Model	p. 20
Crazy Times	p. 21
Uncertain Times	p. 22
A Life Divided	p. 24
The 'Accusing Finger'	p. 24
'Weird'	p. 26
Uncomfortable Places	p. 27
The Family: What Can Be Said and What Cannot Be Said	p. 30
The Laughter of Girlfriends	p. 34
Betrayal	p. 37
A Cycle in Three Stages	p. 40
A Life Shared	p. 43
Back to History	p. 43
Premonitory Experiments	p. 44
The Personalization of Feelings	p. 46
A Model for Private Life	p. 51
The Mother/Children Group	p. 54
The Model Undermined	p. 56
Prince or Husband?	p. 57
Facts and Fairies	p. 57
The Prince with a Thousand Faces	p. 59
'Like a Love Story'	p. 61
The Prince Settles Down	p. 63
When the Carriage Turns Back into a Pumpkin	p. 66
The Prince Plays Musical Chairs	p. 67
Portrait of a Single Woman
Introspection	p. 71
'The Disease of the Infinite'	p. 71
From Laughter to Tears	p. 72
Double Reflexivity	p. 73
From Diaries to Blogs	p. 74
The Mirror and the Clairvoyant	p. 78
At Home	p. 82
Fixtures and Fittings	p. 82
Bed	p. 83
Meals	p. 84
Wrapping Up and Regressing	p. 85
Freedom from Domesticity	p. 86
The Lightness of Being	p. 88
The Outside World	p. 92
Going Out	p. 92
Other Ties	p. 94
The Family	p. 95
Work	p. 97
Being Oneself in the Outside World?	p. 99
Men	p. 101
Arms	p. 101
Sex	p. 103
Man-Hunters	p. 104
Age Difference	p. 106
A Gloomy View of Life	p. 108
Married Men	p. 110
The Internet Revolution	p. 115
A Sudden Change of Epoch	p. 115
Love is Just a Click Away	p. 117
The Dark Side of the Web	p. 119
Real Life	p. 121
Men and Women: Sex and Commitment	p. 123
'Don't Give Up!'	p. 125
An Experience in its Own Right	p. 127
The Autonomy Trajectory
Being Oneself	p. 133
The Trajectory	p. 133
The Irrepressible Injunction to be Oneself	p. 134
Widows	p. 137
Young People	p. 138
Women Who Have Broken Off Relationships	p. 140
Predisposing Factors	p. 143
The Impulse to Remain Single	p. 145
The Lesser of Two Evils	p. 147
Two Trajectories, Two Identities	p. 150
Waiting	p. 152
Dinosaurs of Love and Galloping Horses	p. 152
The Ravages of Love	p. 154
For Want of an Alternative	p. 155
Sentenced to Hard Labour	p. 156
Comforting Habits	p. 157
Extreme Isolation	p. 159
Negative Individualism	p. 162
'Women Can Do Anything!'	p. 164
Flight as Therapy	p. 164
The Logic of the Shell	p. 166
The Paradox of Appearance	p. 169
'Women Can Do Anything'!	p. 170
Autonomy with Company	p. 173
Conclusion	p. 175
Epilogue	p. 179
The Globalization of Singledom: The Figures	p. 184
The Unstoppable Rise in the Number of One-Person Households	p. 184
Interpreting the Figures	p. 191
Late Marriage	p. 193
A Short World Tour	p. 195
Mail-Order Brides	p. 199
Men and Women	p. 202
A Note on Methodology	p. 205
Stages in the Research	p. 205
The Letters	p. 206
Constructing Hypotheses	p. 210
The Informants	p. 210
References	p. 214
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