Smart Parenting During and After Divorce: The Essential Guide to Making Divorce Easier on Your Child

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  • Edition: 1st
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2008-12-10
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education
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No matter how much you and your ex love your children, they will still find themselves between two warring factions fighting over custody, visitation, and money. Author Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D., has seen literally thousands of cases just like yours, and he knows how to transform an ugly, high-conflict divorce into a smarter, more civilized process for the sake of your children. The "smart" part of Smart Parenting During and After Divorce is all about trading the momentary relief of venting anger and frustration at your spouse for the benefit of raising healthier, happier, less-stressed children. Book jacket.

Author Biography

Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D., is a psychologist and executive director of Smart Parenting: The Family Center, which provides court services to high-conflict individuals and families. He has handled more than six thousand custody cases in the state of New York.


Table of Contents

Prefacep. ix
Understanding Your Conflict
Smart Parenting During and After Divorcep. 3
The Common Threads of Conflictp. 5
Assessing Your Level of Conflictp. 11
The Art of Avoiding War: How to De-Escalate Conflictp. 14
Seek Neutral Input to Solve Problemsp. 19
How to Negotiate with a Reasonable Co-Parentp. 21
How to Communicate with a Reasonable Co-Parentp. 25
How to Negotiate with a Jerkp. 30
How to Communicate with a Jerkp. 34
How to Keep Your Cool: Anger Managementp. 40
Revenge: A Dish Best Not Served at Allp. 46
Navigating the Court System
Do I Really Need to Be in Court?p. 51
Preparing to Interact with Court-Appointed Professionalsp. 54
Appearing Before a Judgep. 62
The Pitfalls of Taking Matters into Your Own Handsp. 68
How to Choose a Lawyerp. 71
How to Get Along with a Lawyerp. 79
How to Tell Whether Your Lawyer Is Doing a Good Job for Youp. 82
When You Want to Fire Your Lawyerp. 84
When You Want to Complain About Your Lawyerp. 86
Co-Parenting Successfully
Telling Children About Divorcep. 91
Changing Notions of Custody in Societyp. 94
Co-Parenting Responsibilities of the Custodial Parentp. 97
Co-Parenting Responsibilities of the Visiting Parentp. 100
Moving and Relocatingp. 104
Co-Parenting in Medical Emergenciesp. 107
Telephone Contact Issuesp. 108
The Importance of Sharing Informationp. 112
Self-Defeating Behavior: Overprotectiveness and Rigidityp. 114
Divorced Parenting for Ages and Stages
Special Needs of Infantsp. 119
Special Needs of Toddlers and Preschoolersp. 122
Special Needs of Five- to Eight-Year-Oldsp. 125
Special Needs of Eight- to Twelve-Year-Oldsp. 128
Special Needs of Teensp. 131
Making Visitation Schedules Work
Understanding Custody and Visitation in Relation to Parenting Influence and Timep. 137
How to Set Up a Temporary Visitation Schedulep. 141
How to Set Up a Long-Term Visitation Schedulep. 144
How to Figure Out Holiday Visitationp. 151
When to Seek Supervised Visitationp. 155
Dealing with Common Problems
When Parents Have Different Rulesp. 161
Discipline Problems Related to Divorcep. 164
Preventing Common Personal and Social Problems Related to Divorcep. 167
Preventing Academic Problems Related to Divorcep. 170
Visitation Tantrumsp. 174
Special Concerns and Crisis Situations
When Your Co-Parent Abuses Drugs or Alcoholp. 183
Protecting Yourself and Your Children Against Violence in the Familyp. 187
What to Do When the Other Parent Speaks Negatively About You to Your Childp. 192
What to Do When Your Child Is Acting Out Sexually During or After a Visitp. 199
What to Do When Your Child Tells You He or She Was Hit at the Co-Parent's Housep. 203
Moving On
Introducing Your Child to Your New Partnerp. 209
Stepparentingp. 215
Your New Beginningp. 218
Resourcesp. 219
Indexp. 223
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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