The Social Styles Handbook: Adapt Your Style to Win Trust

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  • Edition: Revised
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2011-05-04
  • Publisher: Atlasbooks Dist Serv
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Why do you connect easily with some people and not with others? More than two million people use social styles and versatility skills to read and adapt to the natural behavior of others. Simple to learn and apply, social styles skills immediately improve communication and relationships at work and at home. Use them and you'll accomplish more with everyone. The secret is very simple: treat people the way they want to be treated. Learn your own social style, how to read others' styles, discover how to handle conflict with social styles in mind, and begin using versatility to ensure productive, long-term relationships. These proven, life-changing tools have produced measurable results for all people in all types of relationships, jobs and businesses worldwide. If you learn about social styles and practice versatility, you too will see immediate, positive results.

Table of Contents

Forewordp. 7
The Case for Communicationp. 9
Introductionp. 9
Words Aren't the Keyp. 10
Social Styles, Versatility and Successp. 12
Summaryp. 14
Mindset Mattersp. 15
A Warm-Up Exercisep. 15
The Exercisep. 15
The Point of the Exercisep. 16
Essential Mindsetsp. 17
Look for the Signals and Respond Correctlyp. 17
Be Prepared to Act in Ways that Don't Feel Comfortablep. 17
You Can't Change Your Own Style, But You Can Adapt Your Behaviorp. 19
Diversity is Enriching, But Requires Understandingp. 19
Summaryp. 20
Dimensions of Social Stylesp. 21
A New View of Behaviorp. 21
Two Critical Assumptionsp. 22
Social Styles Focuses Only on Observable Behaviorp. 22
Perception is Realityp. 22
Summaryp. 23
Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Measures of Behaviorp. 24
Assertiveness and Responsivenessp. 24
Assertiveness - The Measure of Influencingp. 25
Responsiveness - The Measure of Expressingp. 26
Assertiveness and Responsiveness - The Basis for the Social Styles Matrixp. 28
Summaryp. 31
Versatility - Adapting Your Stylep. 33
Versatility in Actionp. 34
Comfort Zones - Yours and Theirsp. 34
Summaryp. 35
Task and Relationship Tension - Productive or Unproductive?p. 36
Task Tensionp. 36
Relationship Tensionp. 37
Rising and Falling Tensionp. 38
Moving from Relationship to Task Tensionp. 40
Summaryp. 41
Comfort - The Key to Trust and Confidencep. 42
Comfort Opens the Way to Trustp. 42
The Effects of Discomfortp. 43
The Payoffs for Making Others Comfortablep. 44
The Requirements for Comfortp. 46
Summaryp. 47
Habit - Getting Beyond Comfort and Custom in Communicationp. 48
Comfort Zones and Habitsp. 48
Adapting - Better than Just Reactingp. 50
Style Modificationp. 51
Summaryp. 53
Generalizing and Judging - Pros and Consp. 54
When Generalization and Judgments Make Sensep. 55
Behavior, Feeling, and Thinkingp. 56
Summaryp. 58
Back-Up Behavior - Fight or Flightp. 59
Fight or Flight Tendenciesp. 59
Back-Up Recovery Strategies - LSCPAp. 62
Listenp. 62
Sharep. 63
Clarifyp. 63
Problem-Solvep. 64
Ask for Actionp. 64
Adapting LSCPA to Fight or Flight Behaviorp. 65
Summaryp. 67
Building Relationships - Entry, Dialogue and Closurep. 69
Entryp. 71
Purpose, Process and Payoff (PPP) Statementsp. 71
Credibilityp. 73
Dialoguep. 74
Listeningp. 74
Exploringp. 75
Integratingp. 76
Closurep. 78
Affirming the Agreementp. 79
Supporting the Decisionp. 79
Enhancing the Relationshipp. 80
Building Trustp. 81
Summaryp. 82
The Social Style Self-Profilerp. 84
Social Styles in Depthp. 88
Living and Working with Analyticalsp. 88
Analytical Expectationsp. 89
Entry with Analyticalsp. 93
Dialogue with Analyticalsp. 96
Closure with Analyticalsp. 97
Affirmingp. 97
Supportingp. 98
Enhancingp. 99
Adapting Your Style for Analyticalsp. 99
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Analyticalsp. 103
If You Are an Analyticalp. 104
Summaryp. 105
Living and Working with Driversp. 107
Driver Expectationsp. 109
Entry with Driversp. 112
Dialogue with Driversp. 115
Closure with Driversp. 115
Affirmingp. 116
Supportingp. 116
Enhancingp. 117
Adapting Your Style for Driversp. 118
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Driversp. 120
If You Are a Driverp. 121
Summaryp. 124
Living and Working with Amiablesp. 125
Amiable Expectationsp. 128
Entry with Amiablesp. 130
Dialogue with Amiablesp. 131
Closure with Amiablesp. 134
Affirmingp. 135
Supportingp. 135
Enhancingp. 136
Adapting Your Style for Amiablesp. 137
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Amiablesp. 140
If You Are an Amiablep. 141
Summaryp. 144
Living and Working with Expressivesp. 145
Expressive Expectationsp. 146
Entry with Expressivesp. 149
Dialogue with Expressivesp. 150
Closure with Expressivesp. 152
Affirmingp. 152
Supportingp. 153
Enhancingp. 154
Adapting Your Style for Expressivesp. 155
Understanding and Handling Back-Up Behavior with Expressivesp. 157
If You Are an Expressivep. 158
Summaryp. 160
Lessons From Social Styles Expertsp. 162
Speeding Up the Learning Curvep. 162
Take It Slowlyp. 163
Don't Jump to Conclusionsp. 164
Stay Away From Stereotypesp. 165
Be Realistic About the Power of Social Stylesp. 165
Be Aware of Styles Within Stylesp. 166
Accept People's Behavior as a Sign of Their Comfort Zones and Nothing Morep. 166
Observe One Dimension of Behavior - Assertiveness or Responsiveness - At a Timep. 167
Observe Verbal and Nonverbal Behaviors - and Be Objectivep. 167
Start Assessing Styles Even Before Your First Meetingp. 168
Use Introductions as Early Indications of Stylep. 169
Focus on Making Only Minor Modifications in Your Behaviorp. 170
Live By the Platinum Rulep. 171
Value Diversityp. 172
Selling is Easier with Social Styles in Mindp. 174
Recognize When You Are the One in Back-Upp. 176
Don't Expect Reciprocityp. 178
Consistency and Integrity Matter Mostp. 178
Don't Try to Be Someone Elsep. 179
Appendixp. 180
Resourcesp. 183
Contributorsp. 186
Indexp. 188
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