Student Dies, A School Mourns: Dealing With Death and Loss in the School Community

by Klicker,Ralph L.

• ISBN13: 9781560327424
• ISBN10: 1560327421
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 1999-09-01
• Publisher: Taylor & Franci

Summary

Among the abundance of material available about death and dying, there is a very limited amount that deals directly with the needs of a school community when one of its members dies. In addition, a great need exists for schools to develop an organized plan for responding to the death of a student or staff member. A Student Dies, A School Mourns aims to fill this gap. The book not only examines and explains the grief reactions of students and school staff members and the factors that affect these reactions, it also provides a systematic guide for developing a death-related crisis response plan. This timely book is designed to be a systematic guide that incorporates a thorough analysis of grief in school, including normal and abnormal grief reactions, factors affecting these grief responses, and the differences in death beliefs and responses of students at different ages and developmental stages. It also acts as a map or step-by-step guide for establishing a death-related response plan. Theliberal use of flow charts, time tables, and action plans, turns the often daunting task of creating a response plan into a relatively painless activity, stating what must be done, who should do it, and when. Extensive coverage is given to two issues in particular: youth suicide and violence/murder in the school. A Student Dies, A School Mourns will be a vital resource for school counselors, social workers, rehab psychologists, school administrators, teachers, clergy and anyone with an interest in death as it pertains to the school community. It will also be of use as a textbook for courses in death and dying, educational psychology, education, and educational administration.

Author Biography

Ralph L. Klicker is president of the Thanos institute in Buffalo, New York, a continuing education organization specializing in death-related studies.

Table of Contents

Preface	xv	(2)
Acknowledgments	xvii	(2)
Introduction	xix
1 Normal Grief	1	(6)
Physical Responses	1	(1)
Mental and Feeling Responses	2	(1)
Spiritual Responses	3	(1)
Anticipatory Grief	4	(1)
Grief in Schools	5	(2)
2 Factors Affecting Grief	7	(10)
The Grieving Person	7	(4)
Normal Coping Behavior	7	(1)
Number of Previous Losses and Deaths	8	(1)
Concurrent Stressors	8	(1)
Expectations of Local, Cultural, and Religious Groups	8	(1)
Available Support Network	9	(1)
Gender Conditioning	9	(1)
Physical and Mental Health	9	(1)
Pre-Death Adjustment Time	10	(1)
Unfinished Business with the Deceased	10	(1)
Secondary Losses	10	(1)
The Deceased	11	(1)
Importance of the Relationship	11	(1)
Personal Qualities	11	(1)
Age of Deceased	12	(1)
Fulfillment of Dreams	12	(1)
The Death	12	(5)
Accident	12	(1)
Homicide	13	(2)
Suicide	15	(1)
Prolonged Illness	15	(1)
Acceptability of the Death	16	(1)
3 Children's Reaction to Death	17	(7)
Birth to Two Years	17	(1)
Two to Five Years	18	(1)
Six to Nine Years	19	(1)
Nine to Twelve Years (Pre-Adolescence)	20	(1)
Thirteen to Eighteen Years (Adolescence)	21	(1)
Additional Reactions	22	(2)
4 Response Planning Procedures	24	(14)
The Crisis Response Team	25	(1)
Creating a Crisis Response Plan	26	(1)
Recruiting an Outside Consultant	26	(1)
Designating a Media Liaison	27	(1)
Developing a Media Policy	27	(1)
Designating a Family Liaison	28	(1)
Creating and Updating a Telephone Tree	28	(1)
Developing a Staff-Sharing Policy	28	(1)
Developing an Arrangement with Non-School Professionals	28	(1)
Hiring Substitute Teachers	29	(1)
Identifying a Crisis Headquarters	29	(1)
Identifying Crisis Counseling and Quiet Rooms	29	(1)
Determining an Information Flow Pattern	29	(1)
Formulating a School Policy on Funeral Attendance	30	(1)
Formulating a Policy on School Remembrance Activities	30	(1)
Determining Student Input	30	(1)
Availability of Reading Material on Death	31	(1)
Drafting a Letter to Parents	31	(1)
Planning for a Parent/Community Meeting	31	(1)
Planning for Postvention Evaluation	31	(1)
Identification and Referral of At-Risk Students	31	(1)
Signs of At-Risk Students	32	(2)
Crisis/Grief and Family Tree Files	34	(1)
Planning for First Morning Staff Meeting	35	(1)
Developing Suggestions for Classroom Activities	36	(1)
Planning for First Day After-School Staff Meeting	36	(1)
Organizing and Conducting In-Service Training for Staff	36	(1)
Conducting a Post-Crisis Evaluation	37	(1)
5 Staff Responsibilities	38	(15)
The Role of the Principal	38	(3)
Contacting the Family of the Deceased	40	(1)
Responsibilities	41	(1)
The Role of Crisis Team Members	41	(1)
The Role of the Family Liaison	42	(1)
Responsibilities	43	(1)
The Role of the Media Liaison	43	(2)
Responsibilities	44	(1)
The Role of the Teacher	45	(1)
Responsibilities	45	(1)
The Role of the Guidance Counselor	46	(1)
Responsibilities	46	(1)
The Role of the School Psychologist and/or Social Worker	46	(1)
Responsibilities	47	(1)
The Role of the School Nurse	47	(1)
Responsibilities	47	(1)
The Role of the Librarian	48	(1)
Responsibilities	48	(1)
The Role of Transportation Personnel	48	(1)
The Role of Support Staff	48	(1)
Responsibilities	49	(1)
The Role of the School Physician	49	(1)
Responsiblities	49	(1)
Community Resource People	49	(3)
Grief Specialist	49	(1)
Mental Health Professionals	50	(1)
Clergy	50	(1)
Funeral Director	51	(1)
Responsibility Checklist	52	(1)
6 Time Table for Daily Activities	53	(5)
First Emergency Staff Meeting	53	(2)
Principal's Responsibilities	54	(1)
Crisis Response Team Representative's Responsibilities	54	(1)
Teacher's Responsibilities	55	(1)
Grief Specialist's Responsibilities	55	(1)
After First Staff Meeting	55	(1)
Principal's Responsibilities	55	(1)
Crisis Response Team's Responsibilities	56	(1)
End-of-Day Meeting	56	(1)
Day Two	56	(1)
After-Class Staff Meeting	57	(1)
Day Three	57	(1)
7 Helping Grieving Students	58	(12)
Before a Death	58	(1)
How Teachers Can Help	59	(2)
What Teachers Have Found to Be Successful	61	(3)
Beginning the Discussion of Death	61	(1)
Relieving Guilt	62	(1)
Reassurance	62	(1)
When Talking is Not Enough	63	(1)
Physical Closeness	63	(1)
Celebrating the Person Who Was	63	(1)
When Only One Child is Grieving	64	(1)
Defusing	64	(2)
Ongoing Support	66	(1)
When a Student Has a Life-Threatening Illness	67	(3)
The Best Teachers (A Parent's View)...	68	(1)
The Worst Teachers (A Parent's View)...	68	(1)
Parents' Comments	69	(1)
8 Teaching Students How to Behave in Grief-Related Situations	70	(8)
Helping a Grieving Friend	70	(2)
First Steps	70	(1)
Communication	71	(1)
Attending a Visitation or Funeral at the Funeral Home	71	(1)
Later Involvement	71	(1)
Helping Grieving Parents	72	(1)
First Steps	72	(1)
Communication	72	(1)
Attending a Visitation or Funeral at the Funeral Home	73	(1)
Later Involvement	73	(1)
When a Teacher is Grieving	73	(2)
Feelings	73	(1)
What to Do	73	(1)
Communicating with Your Grieving Teacher	74	(1)
Flowers and Donations	74	(1)
If You See Your Teacher in the Community	74	(1)
Attending Funerals and Memorial Services	74	(1)
Visitation at a Funeral Home	75	(1)
When a Grieving Teacher Returns	75	(1)
Getting Ready	75	(1)
On the Big Day	75	(1)
What if Your Teacher Cries?	76	(1)
When a Grieving Classmate Returns	76	(2)
First Words	76	(1)
Helping the Classmate Adjust to Class	77	(1)
Some Don'ts	77	(1)
9 Helping Yourself Through Grief	78	(3)
Learn About Grief Beforehand	78	(1)
Don't Compare Your Grief with Others	79	(1)
Don't Keep a Stiff Upper Lip	79	(1)
Go Easy on Yourself	79	(1)
Don't Take On a New Responsibility Right Away	79	(1)
Don't Give Yourself a Time Limit	79	(1)
Talk About How You Feel	79	(1)
Complete Unfinished Business with the Deceased	80	(1)
Tranquilizers and Alcohol Won't Stop the Pain--They Will Only Delay It	80	(1)
Accept Help	80	(1)
Feel What You Feel	80	(1)
10 The Funeral and School Remembrance Activities	81	(4)
The Funeral	81	(1)
Should Students Attend the Funeral or Wake?	82	(1)
School Remembrance Activities	83	(2)
11 Writing a Condolence Letter	85	(2)
12 When Death is by Suicide	87	(20)
Suicide Contagion	87	(1)
Response to Suicide	88	(1)
Warning Signs	89	(1)
Needs of Suicide Mourners	89	(1)
Helping Mourners of Suicide	89	(1)
Health Enhancement Through Asset Recognition: H.E.A.R. A School-Based Suicide Prevention Program	90	(9)
In Support of H.E.A.R.	92	(2)
Session One: Education	94	(1)
Session Two: Coping Mechanisms	95	(1)
Session Three: Self-Esteem	96	(1)
Session Four: Stress	97	(1)
Session Five: Personal Growth	98	(1)
Factors Related to Adolescent Suicide	99	(1)
Suicide Warning Signs	100	(1)
Common Trigger Mechanisms	101	(1)
Common Myths about Suicide	102	(1)
Suicide Interventions	103	(1)
How You Can Help in a Suicidal Crisis	103	(1)
What Do You Say?	104	(1)
What Would You Want From That Person? What Wouldn't You Want?	105	(2)
13 Coping and Healing: The Aftermath of Violence and Murder	107	(21)
Patricia L. Evans
A Few Words About Prevention	108	(1)
The Necessity of Outside Professionals	108	(3)
Responding to Trauma and Grief	111	(1)
An Overview of Reactions	112	(15)
Grief Triggers	117	(1)
Second Wounds	118	(1)
Assessment of Children's Symptoms	119	(1)
Generic Therapies to Reduce the Effects of Trauma	120	(1)
Facilitating Understanding and Healing	121	(2)
Cultural Influences	123	(1)
The Site of the Violence	124	(1)
Differing Needs: Those with Direct Trauma Exposure and Those Who Are Grieving	124	(1)
When the Assailant is a Student	125	(1)
The Aftermath: Providing Support and Assistance to School Personnel	126	(1)
Every School Should Be Prepared	127	(1)
Appendix	128	(3)
References	131	(6)
Author Index	137	(2)
Subject Index	139	(6)
About the Author	145