Becoming a Forgiving Person: A Pastoral Perspective

by Dayringer; Richard L

• ISBN13: 9780789018564
• ISBN10: 078901856X
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2004-04-07
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Don't let hurt feelings cause undue harm--learn to make use of the healing power of forgiveness! Charting different paths through feelings of betrayal, oppression, and humiliation, this compassionate book will help you understand forgiveness, find it within yourself, and pass this important knowledge to others. The poignant stories in Becoming a Forgiving Person show how anyone can manage feelings of victimization and quench the lust for vengeance. You'll gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics of being hurt, the inner struggles needed to truly forgive, and methods and skills for practicing forgiveness. Combining religious and psychological insight, Becoming a Forgiving Person examines how forgiveness can enhance feelings of self-esteem, freedom, and intimacy. The personal stories in these pages illuminate the futility of revenge and show why apologies don't always help. You'll be inspired by these lessons on how to forgive yourself and other people by tapping into levels of spirituality that are deeper than the grievances you need to forgive. With its fascinating new perspectives on betrayal, revenge, apology, and reconciliation, Becoming a Forgiving Person will show you: how to forgive without waiting for apologies ways to find personal power and increase self-esteem strategies for cultivating networks of supportive people to help you--or anyone--through difficult times tactics for getting on with your life and finding inner peace how and where to find opportunities to practice forgiveness This book also contains an appendix that lists various types of offenses and another that explores how to respond to one of the most hurtful situations imaginable--the accusation of incest--in a way that bypasses denial and power struggles and works toward reconciliation. Becoming a Forgiving Person is a book that can help anyone who needs to learn to forgive--or who endeavors to help others accomplish that daunting task.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
Preface	xi
PART I: INTRODUCTION-WHY I AM INTERESTED IN FORGIVENESS	1	(8)
Chapter 1. The Dilemma: How Could I Forgive a Friend Who Betrayed Me?	5	(4)
PART II: OFFENSES-THE WAYS IN WHICH WE ARE HURT	9	(18)
Chapter 2. Offenses Against Freedom: My Choices Are Limited	11	(4)
Chapter 3. Offenses Against Self-Esteem: I Feel Humiliated	15	(6)
Chapter 4. Offenses Against Intimacy: I Have Been Betrayed	21	(6)
PART III: TRYING TO TAKE CHARGE-WHAT CONSTITUTES FORGIVENESS	27	(20)
Chapter 5. What About Revenge?	29	(8)
Chapter 6. Is an Apology Necessary?	37	(4)
Chapter 7. Questions	41	(6)
PART IV: LAYING THE FOUNDATIONS	47	(32)
Chapter 8. How I Create My Inner World	51	(10)
Chapter 9. One Example: Terry Dobson's Story	61	(6)
Chapter 10. The Many Facets of Who I Am	67	(8)
Chapter 11. One Example: Simon Wiesenthal's Story	75	(4)
PART V: MAKING IT HAPPEN	79	(16)
Chapter 12. Forgiving Offenses Against Freedom	81	(4)
Chapter 13. Forgiving Offenses Against Self-Esteem	85	(4)
Chapter 14. Forgiving Offenses Against Intimacy	89	(6)
PART VI: CONCLUSIONS	95	(26)
Chapter 15. Pulling It All Together	97	(4)
Chapter 16. Is Reconciliation Necessary?	101	(8)
Chapter 17. Forgiving Myself: Forgiving the Person I Used to Be	109	(8)
Chapter 18. Painting Lessons	117	(4)
Epilogue	121	(2)
Appendix A. Handling the Accusation of Incest	123	(4)
Appendix B. Kinds of Offenses	127	(2)
Bibliographic Essay	129	(2)
References	131