A Book for Couples

by Prather, Hugh; Prather, Gayle

• ISBN13: 9781567314250
• ISBN10: 1567314252
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2001-03-01
• Publisher: Fine Communications

Table of Contents

SECTION I THE WHOLE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Introduction	3	(2)
You Couldn't Have Picked A More Difficult Time	5	(15)
Are You Sure It Was a Mistake?	5	(3)
The Function of Hope	8	(1)
A Widespread and Mistaken Approach	9	(3)
Once We Had Rules	12	(1)
The Ego's Need to Separate	13	(2)
The Power of Unity	15	(2)
Emotions True and False	17	(3)
Who Would it Take to Make Love Possible?	20	(8)
Letting Go of Romance	20	(1)
The Fiction of the Well-Matched Pair	21	(2)
The Road to Your One Great Love	23	(2)
The Gentle Use of the Mind	25	(3)
Letting Go Of Differences	28	(15)
The Old You Cannot Begin Anew	28	(1)
Trying to Match the Superficials	29	(3)
Your List of Unjoinables	32	(1)
Specialness Must Be Defended	33	(3)
Being Un-different Together	36	(1)
Watching Without Judgment	37	(2)
Triggering Sadness---Triggering Peace	39	(4)
Which Relationship Are You In?	43	(23)
The Center Path	43	(2)
Love Is Always Like Itself	45	(1)
The Inherited Way of Looking	46	(2)
Seeing Naturally	48	(1)
Comparisons Hold No Kindness	49	(1)
Seeing One Who Is Not There	50	(2)
No One Is Unable to Commit	52	(1)
A Relationship Cannot Give	53	(1)
Below the Sentence Level of the Mind	54	(2)
Begin at the Ending Point	56	(7)
SECTION II THE PARTS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Introduction	63	(3)
Freeing the Relationship from its Past	66	(25)
The Effort to Appear Normal	66	(2)
What Is Unforgivable?	68	(3)
How Many Alterations Does Your Partner Need?	71	(2)
Your Preoccupations Transform You	73	(2)
How Hard Does Your Partner Work to Torment You?	75	(2)
How Poison Enters the Mind	77	(3)
Seeing the Blocks to Happiness	80	(1)
Recording the Blocks to Happiness	81	(2)
Alterting Yourself to the Blocks to Happiness	83	(1)
Examining the Blocks to Happiness	84	(2)
Discarding the Blocks to Happiness	86	(3)
The Source of Freedom	89	(2)
How to Resolve Issues Unmemorably	91	(27)
Unfinished Arguments Accumulate	91	(2)
Each New Issue Resurrects the Old	93	(1)
Discussions Create the Relationship's Terrain	94	(2)
The Magic Rules for Ruining Any Discussion	96	(2)
To Agree Is Not the Purpose	98	(3)
Five Steps in Preparing to Argue	101	(5)
The Six Rules of Arguing	106	(8)
Resolving Issues Within Yourself	114	(2)
Study, Humility, and Concentration	116	(2)
Settled Patterns and Unhappy Dynamics	118	(30)
Blind Commitment	118	(3)
Unlearning the Roles of Husband and Wife	121	(2)
Presuming Mutual Participation	123	(2)
The Answer to Every Call for Help Is Gentleness	125	(2)
Insight: A Gift or a Weapon?	127	(2)
Neither Bait nor Rise to the Bait	129	(1)
The Symptom of Feeling Separate	130	(2)
``You Are Never Upset for the Reason You Think''	132	(2)
Identifying the Problem's Veneer	134	(1)
The Promise Sustains the Pain	135	(1)
Stay Focused on a Single Thread	136	(2)
A Brief Case History	138	(5)
One Underlying Dynamic	143	(2)
Symbols of Your Sincerity	145	(3)
Common Problems	148	(59)
One Problem---One Answer	148	(4)
Sex
How's Your Sex Life	152	(2)
Four Qualities Essential to Success	154	(4)
Observation and Options	158	(1)
Detailing the First Plan	159	(3)
Summary	162	(1)
Jealousy and Trust
Jealousy's Counterpart	163	(1)
Being Attractive	164	(2)
Pathological Jealousy	166	(1)
Trust Is Not Control	166	(1)
Specific Steps	167	(1)
Your Partner's Place in Your Mind	168	(1)
Affairs
A Symbol and Its Effect	169	(1)
What Are You Going to Do About It?	170	(2)
Making a Decision	172	(1)
Revenge Fantasies	173	(1)
The Affair and Its Effects Are One	174	(1)
Suffering Is a Request for Love	175	(1)
Your Joint Plan for Healing	176	(2)
Finances
Treasuring Your Relationship	178	(1)
Undercutting Money	179	(2)
Row Gently	181	(1)
Having Children
Children Are Wonderful and Much More	182	(2)
A Baby Will Not Perk Up Your Relationship	184	(1)
Common Dynamics	185	(3)
Another Spouse's Children	188	(2)
``I Need My Own Space''
Mental Separteness	190	(1)
Using a Symbol's Power	191	(3)
Ways of Joining	194	(2)
Helping Make It Easier	196	(2)
Growing Old Together
Your Partner Is a Mirror	198	(2)
Become As a Child	200	(1)
The Body's Function	201	(1)
Opportunity of a Lifetime	202	(5)
Epilogue The Last Instruction	207