Bug

by Heuer, Christopher Jon

• ISBN13: 9781563683572
• ISBN10: 1563683571
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2007-09-15
• Publisher: Gallaudet Univ Pr

Summary

"What you have in your hands is a bomb. But it is the kind you need to hold on to for dear life, not run away from." -From the Foreword, John Lee Clark Christopher Jon Heuer lost his hearing early, but not before "being able to hear a lot as a kid." He also received a good education, both in a speech-oriented setting and a signing environment. These varied experiences provided him with the perfect background to write about biases he faced, not only those of a mostly oblivious hearing society, but also those of ideologically restrictive members of the Deaf community.BUG: Deaf Identity and Internal Revolutioncombines new work of Heuerrs"s with his best columns fromThe Tactile Mind Weeklyand the National Association of the Deafrs"sMind Over Matter. He addresses all topics exit interviews, baldness, faith healing, marriage, cats, Christmas trips, backyard campfires in boxer shorts with a withering wit that spares no aspect of life and deafness. Being "bugged" for Heuer began early: "When I was growing up, my motherrs"s response to every problem I had was: ls"Well, he just needs to adjust to his deafness.rs" Bloody nose? ls"Chris, you need to adjust to your deafness.rs" Homework not done? ls"I know itrs"s hard adjusting to your deafness, honey, but ....rs" Acne scarring? ls"Lots of teenagers get zits, Chris. I know itrs"s hard for you, dealing with this while trying to adjust to your ....rs"" He rebelled then, and continues through his even-handed irreverence inBUG, a bomb that should go off in everyoners"s consciousness about being deaf and Deaf.

Author Biography

Christopher Jon Heuer is Assistant Professor in the Department of Applied Literacy at Gallaudet University in Washington, DC.

Table of Contents

Introduction : on small things easily squished (and alternative destinies)	p. 1
I choose the green crayon	p. 5
Bald men grow hair when they want to	p. 7
The "must put pickle" mentality	p. 10
Campfires in boxer shorts - confessions of a hearing aid-less exhibitionist	p. 13
Pushed into faith healing	p. 15
Deaf man killed by flying golf ball - a eulogy of small accomplishments	p. 18
I am not your poster child	p. 19
Corresponding oval	p. 21
Chris, Amy, and the floating motion sickness pills	p. 24
Five beers away	p. 28
Christmas is filling up a dinky little '01 Toyota Corolla gas tank	p. 30
Responsibility is not a burden	p. 35
Full circle	p. 38
One guy vs. seven billion! : can he win? : can he?!?	p. 45
"I don't understand" vs. "you're not making yourself understood"	p. 46
Praying for the Hell's Angel	p. 48
Noise paranoia	p. 49
I stopped being disabled and nobody knows	p. 50
A lot of bullets	p. 52
Value beyond ASL, value beyond breasts	p. 54
Plastic souls	p. 56
Koko want	p. 57
Point A to point B should be a straight line	p. 59
But I don't want to buy a deaf person!	p. 63
Fares	p. 65
Babes from space!	p. 66
I worship cochlear implants!	p. 68
Have cell phone, am God	p. 70
Shark and camel	p. 71
One roll of tape and your whole world collapses	p. 80
A bit less hearing, a bit less "hearing," but a bit more of both	p. 81
Minority = pathology?	p. 85
The real world - bigger than you think	p. 86
Cash my check, you flying brick-headed rat-pole witch!	p. 88
What criteria for "well-meaning?"	p. 90
Popping the normal pill	p. 91
Stuck	p. 93
Empathy is not pity	p. 93
Reborn, karma-style	p. 96
He may not understand, but he still ranks a five	p. 97
Why must we know?	p. 99
Red is stop, deaf is ...?	p. 100
That's you, that's your beer - keep them separate	p. 102
Guess what? : my hearing ancestors had sex too!	p. 104
Deaf rumor mills - the surest path to absolute freedom	p. 105
Backstabbers aim for your back, so why cover your ass?	p. 108
I am a crab	p. 109
Who says oralism failed?	p. 111
He wrote about Ring Bologna and disappeared	p. 113
Spleen gone blues	p. 114
Rubella bulge	p. 116
Footballs at $1,400 each	p. 117
You don't have 100 percent to give	p. 119
Those who play by the rules ...	p. 120
Never get mad without your prescription	p. 123
Departure	p. 124
Move on from Milan	p. 125
Why deaf people no go boom	p. 125
Making deaf awareness day effective	p. 126
Just duck and they'll shoot each other!	p. 127
Conflict	p. 128
Nietzsche's downside	p. 129
Advice on tennis and pain	p. 130
Missing the bounce	p. 131
Institutionalized just like you	p. 135
Dishes done, institution-style!	p. 136
Research - the best way to avoid real answers	p. 139
The sign for administrator	p. 141
When your cat is passive-aggressive	p. 141
Invalidation : the mind-game gift that keeps on giving!	p. 143
Institutions for the deaf? : Pfft	p. 145
Guys in ties? : one tug closer to strangulation!	p. 146
White dress shirts - making the world safer for workplace projection!	p. 147
The tyranny of polyester	p. 149
It's Vietnam all over again!	p. 150
My son, the Manchurian candidate!	p. 152
Engineering efficient institutions	p. 154
The lie of dependency	p. 155
In the depths of space, no one can lipread your scream	p. 157
You're always caught in someone's machine	p. 158
Visible scars	p. 160
It wasn't self-pity that stopped me from becoming a telemarketer	p. 161
If	p. 163
Grant me the wisdom	p. 163
The starving African children ain't got nothin' on us	p. 165
Life is fairer when you get mugged	p. 167
A message in a bottle from the governor of reality (hopefully you can grab this without rocking the boat)!	p. 169
Man up, women!	p. 171
Unfortunately, now you can't get a deaf president out of office	p. 174
When enough do, most will	p. 176
"... anything except hear," including believe inspirational bullshit	p. 178
Another problem with "deaf people can ..."	p. 180
Learn to recognize a smokescreen from a smoke job	p. 181
The economics of presence	p. 183
Why the deaf education teacher went to hell	p. 184
"We can save the deaf!" (the official deaf education fight song)	p. 187
On being brave	p. 189
I thought you were KGB!	p. 191
Don't stop with dreams	p. 193
Strip club literacy	p. 195
ASL is a visual language ... just like printed English!	p. 196
Let's bring back "deaf and dumb"	p. 198
Sometimes things break off	p. 200
Parenthood in the blizzard	p. 202
Denial rules everything	p. 203
Coping	p. 205
The economy of love and paying attention	p. 209
The best defense is a good disqualification	p. 210
The age of digital boob magic	p. 211
Paternalism and sleeping cats	p. 213
Murderball	p. 214
Hearing parents know!	p. 216
Final notes for hearing/nonsigning parents	p. 219
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