The Caregiving Wife's Handbook Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself

by Denholm, Diana B.

• ISBN13: 9780897936057
• ISBN10: 0897936051
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-01-03
• Publisher: Hunter House

Summary

A step-by-step communication guide to help care-giving women live without regret and maintain emotional, physical and financial health as they care for their dying husbands

Author Biography

Diana B. Denholm, PhD, LMHG, did her doctoral study in psychology at the University of Connecticut and is a board-certified medical psychotherapist. She developed the techniques in her book in her work with clients and has become a nationally recognized pioneer in the field of caregivers health. Diana lives in West Palm Beach, FL.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. x
Introduction: What's Happening to My Life?	p. 1
My Story	p. 5
What You Can Expect from This Book	p. 6
Examining Our Issues	p. 8
Prompts to Start Planning	p. 11
Responses from the Group	p. 13
Organizing Answers and Choosing Discussion Topics	p. 30
Things I Want to Say but Don't Expect a Response To	p. 32
Things I Want to Say but Won't, Because It Won't Make a Difference	p. 33
Things I Want to Say but Should Only Share with a Friend	p. 35
Things I Really Need to Talk About, Know About, Have Resolved, or Make a Decision About	p. 37
Communication Tools 101 (or Shall I Say, 9-1-1)	p. 41
Keep Your Viewpoint While Your Husband and Others Keep Theirs, Yet Still Get What You Want	p. 42
Change a Person's Behavior, Whether or Not They Change Their Opinion	p. 43
Changing Your Behavior May Make It Unnecessary for Other People to Change Theirs	p. 44
Encouraging Your Husband to Say More	p. 45
Pitfalls to Avoid	p. 46
Speaking His Language	p. 47
Summary of Communication Tools	p. 47
Talk Your Way to Understandings	p. 49
What If He Refuses to Meet?	p. 52
What If I Refuse to Meet?	p. 53
The Setting for Your Discussion	p. 54
Preparing for the Discussion	p. 55
The Discussion	p. 57
Closing the Discussion and Creating Understandings	p. 58
Sample Understandings	p. 60
Comprehending Our Emotions-Life in the Guilt Factory	p. 69
The Big C	p. 72
Emotional Fine-Line Issues	p. 76
The Stress of Living Grief	p. 87
Sometimes Our Emotions Surprise Us	p. 88
I'm So Tired of Being the "Man"!	p. 89
Emotions and Words	p. 89
My Way Versus His Way	p. 90
Ultimately It Is His Disease	p. 93
Practical Issues	p. 96
Practical Fine-Line Issues	p. 97
Social and Familial issues	p. 128
Whose Business Is It, Anyway?	p. 129
Everyone Has an Opinion	p. 132
The Hottest Button	p. 133
When Someone Asks	p. 135
Public Face with Private Pain	p. 137
Visitors and Privacy	p. 141
Ceremonies and Services	p. 146
Self-Care	p. 151
Manufacture Time	p. 156
Stop Energy Drains	p. 157
The Delicate Topics-Love, Sex, Intimacy, and Affairs	p. 157
Staying Awake When Trauma Becomes Normal	p. 160
"Sometimes a Cigar Is Just a Cigar"	p. 161
Health Lessons I Learned from My Husband	p. 161
50 Do's and Don'ts	p. 163
Decisions, Transitions, and Discoveries	p. 169
Resources	p. 175
Index	p. 189
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