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9780961604660

Couple Talk How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship

by ;
  • ISBN13:

    9780961604660

  • ISBN10:

    0961604662

  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 2003-09-12
  • Publisher: Personal Power Press
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List Price: $26.61

Summary

Contains a variety of verbal skills and language patterns that will strengthen your primary relationship by improving communication between you and your partner. Become a response-able communicator—able to respond appropriately and effectively to the everyday situations that all couples encounter. Helps you build a relationship built on mutual respect and caring.

Author Biography

Chick Moorman is the director of the Institute for Personal Power, a consulting firm dedicated to providing high-quality professional development activities for educators and parents. He is a former classroom teacher with over fifty years of experience in the field of education. His mission is to help people experience a greater sense of personal power in their lives so they can in turn empower others. Chick conducts full-day workshops and seminars for school districts and parent groups. He also delivers keynote addresses for local, state, and national conferences.

Thomas Haller is the chief parenting and relationship correspondent to WNEM TV 5 (CBS affiliate), MY5 TV, and WNEM News Radio 1250 AM. Thomas is also the regular guest host of Health Line on WSGW 790 AM/100.5 FM. He has been a featured guest on over 150 radio shows, including such notable programs as Oprah Radio, Playboy Radio and The World Puja Network. Thomas is a parenting and relationship specialist, the coauthor of five highly acclaimed books, a psychotherapist maintaining a 20-year private practice as a child, adolescent and couples therapist, a sex therapist, and a chronic pain counselor. Thomas has a Master of Divinity degree, Master of Social Work degree and a Doctorate in Child and Family Studies. He has extensive training in psychotherapy with children and couples. He is a certified EEG biofeedback technician, an AASECT certified diplomate of sex therapy, and a certified sports counselor.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION vii
CHAPTER 1: THE LANGUAGE OF LISTENING AND UNDERSTANDING
"Say some more."
3(3)
"Help me understand what you are feeling."
6(3)
"I understand just how you feel."
9(3)
Ten Things to Say to Help Your Partner Feel Heard
12(12)
"Is there something up with you?"
13(4)
"What is the upside of this?"
17(2)
"What was the best part of your day?"
19(2)
"What's your opinion?"
21(3)
Cartoon
24(5)
"Start anywhere but start talking?"
25(2)
"What did I say/do that gave you that idea?"
27(2)
Cartoon
29(1)
Ten Things to Do to Help Your Partner Feel Heard
30(3)
"Why do you want to know?"
31(2)
Times to Remain Silent
33(2)
CHAPTER 2: THE LANGUAGE OF FEELINGS
"I hurt when you say those things to me."
35(4)
"I'm feeling frustrated."
39(3)
"You make me mad?'
42(4)
Cartoon
46(9)
"Ouch! That sounds like a put-down."
47(3)
"Please talk to me like I'm someone you love."
50(3)
"I'm fine."
53(2)
Describe, Describe, Describe
55(4)
CHAPTER 3: THE LANGUAGE OF INTIMACY
"I noticed ..."
59(3)
"Come and journey with me."
62(3)
"Come closer."
65(3)
"I want some time with you."
68(3)
Cartoon
71(5)
"Would you do me a favor?"
72(2)
"Would you like a back rub?"
74(2)
Fifteen Things to Say to Build Connectedness
76(1)
Cartoon
77(8)
"I Love you."
78(4)
"Make love to me."
82(3)
Talking Dirty
85(10)
"Let's do something weird."
89(3)
"If I were picking again today, I'd still choose you."
92(3)
CHAPTER 4: THE LANGUAGE OF SOLUTION-SEEKING
"Let's pick a time to talk about this."
95(3)
"Let's make a plan."
98(2)
"Let's take a time-out."
100(2)
"Let's check it out inside."
102(2)
"If this was about something else, what would it be about?"
104(3)
"Let's turn our binoculars around."
107(4)
"Is this worth fighting about?"
111(2)
"How can we both get what we want?"
113(2)
Cartoon
115(13)
"Can we present a united front on this?"
116(3)
"Can we agree to disagree?"
119(3)
"Let's focus on your complaint."
122(3)
"What can we learn from this?"
125(3)
Cartoon
128(18)
"What would love do now?"
129(4)
"Let's talk about how we talked about it."
133(3)
"It's not fair."
136(4)
"If I lose fifteen pounds, will you read this book and discuss it with me?"
140(2)
"I'm going to fight you on this one."
142(4)
CHAPTER 5: THE LANGUAGE OF RESPECT
Fifteen Things to Say to Share Appreciation
146(29)
"You could be right about that."
147(3)
"You were right about that."
150(2)
"And ..."
152(3)
"It seems to me..."
155(2)
"Thank you."
157(3)
"If it weren't for you ..."
160(3)
"I need to vent."
163(2)
"I know that's not who you really are."
165(2)
"Do you really want to know?"
167(4)
"I have something to tell you. Are you ready to hear it?"
171(4)
CHAPTER 6: THE LANGUAGE OF DISRESPECT
"You really lucked out."
175(4)
"You've been out with your friends four times this month."
179(3)
"You should have ..."
182(2)
"Yes, but ..."
184(3)
"I was only teasing."
187(2)
Cartoon
189(9)
"I told you so."
190(3)
"Why won't you?"
193(2)
"You always/never ..."
195(3)
Cartoon
198(6)
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself."
199(3)
"You slob."
202(2)
Twenty Phrases That May Indicate You Have an Abusive Partner
204(2)
CHAPTER 7: THE LANGUAGE OF BOUNDARIES
"Not true."
206(3)
"This is non-negotiable."
209(3)
"You crossed my line."
212(3)
"Back off."
215(3)
Cartoon
218(10)
"I really don't enjoy this activity. I'd prefer it if you did it without me."
219(2)
"This is for me, not against you."
221(4)
"I'm leaving and I am coming back."
225(3)
CHAPTER 8: THE LANGUAGE OF AUTONOMY
"How can I be most helpful right now?"
228(3)
"Would you like help with that?"
231(3)
"Let me know when you're ready to tell me."
234(3)
Ten Things to Say to Promote Autonomy
237(1)
Cartoon
238(7)
"Let me struggle with this."
239(3)
"I want you to scratch my back."
242(3)
Cartoon
245(6)
"Watch me."
246(2)
"You decide."
248(3)
CHAPTER 9: THE LANGUAGE OF BEHAVIORAL CHANGE
"Let's make a BE choice."
251(3)
"I'd like you to put down the paper when I talk to you?"
254(2)
"I won't do that anymore."
256(2)
"I'm sorry."
258(2)
Cartoon
260(23)
"You can demonstrate that by ..."
261(3)
"Trust me."
264(3)
"I promise."
267(2)
"I'll try."
269(3)
"You don't value me."
272(2)
"I'm more than that now."
274(3)
"I don't want to do this anymore."
277(3)
"Will you join me in counseling?"
280(3)
ABOUT THE AUTHORS 283

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