"Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?" Parenting Together While Living Apart

by Ackerman, Marc J.

• ISBN13: 9780470127537
• ISBN10: 0470127538
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-03-21
• Publisher: Wiley

Summary

Thorough in coverage and updated with topics that affect today's families, Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?, Second Edition helps you keep your children in the number-one, priority spot before, during, and after your divorce. Nonjudgmental in tone, the new edition will show you how to put your kids' best interests first as you work with your spouse to parent together while living apart.

Author Biography

Marc J. Ackerman, PHD, is a clinical psychologist and expert on child custody. He maintains a counseling and consulting practice in Milwaukee and is the author of several books for psychologists and lawyers on the topic of child custody, including Wiley's Clinician's Guide to Child Custody Evaluations, Third Edition and the Essentials of Forensic Psychological Assessment. He has been involved in thousands of custody evaluation cases and is the co-creator of ASPECT, a major child-custody evaluation instrument. Dr. Ackerman has worked with thousands of divorcing families and is a frequent speaker at conferences and on national television and radio talk shows.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. xiii
Acknowledgments	p. xvii
A House Divided	p. 1
Facts about Divorce	p. 2
Moving Ahead: Telling Children about Your Divorce	p. 13
Concrete Thinkers in an Abstract Situation	p. 17
When Your Child Is No Longer a Child	p. 24
Academic Performance	p. 26
Boys and Girls React Differently	p. 26
Adjustments Abound	p. 28
Mourning the End of a Marriage	p. 29
Not Enough Hours in the Day, Not Enough Friends in the World	p. 32
One Magical Wish	p. 34
Custody Options: The Best Interest of the Child	p. 35
Joint versus Sole Custody	p. 37
Chronic Mental Illness Leads to a Topsy-Turvy World	p. 39
Active Alcoholism or Other Drug Abuse and Children Don't Mix	p. 41
Physical or Sexual Abuse: Confounding Dilemmas	p. 42
Violating Orders, Communication Failure, Obstructing Visits	p. 43
Endangering Your Children	p. 44
Separate Lives under One Roof, Then the Great Divide	p. 46
Giving Up Placement	p. 48
Grandparents: Help or Hindrance	p. 49
Navigating the Legal Waters	p. 51
Finding an Attorney	p. 51
Don't Be Attracted by Unrealistic Promises	p. 55
Avoid "Hired Guns" and "Dirty Tricks" Attorneys	p. 56
Switching Attorneys	p. 58
Telling Your Story in Court	p. 59
Acting as Your Own Attorney	p. 60
Mediation as a First Step	p. 61
Collaboration	p. 64
Arbitration	p. 68
The Court Process	p. 69
Custody Disputes	p. 72
The Guardian ad Litem	p. 72
The Custody Study	p. 76
Custody Evaluation	p. 76
To Supervise or Not to Supervise	p. 83
Relocation Cases	p. 85
Going Back to Court	p. 88
Two of Everything? Dealing with the Practicalities of Placement and Custody	p. 93
Placement of Young Children	p. 96
The Ackerman Plan	p. 98
Bad Schedules	p. 100
General Rules	p. 101
Separating Children	p. 105
Uninterrupted Time	p. 106
Different Cities: Creating a Placement Road Map	p. 107
Making Things Work under New Rules	p. 109
The Master Schedule	p. 109
The Parenting Plan	p. 111
Visits and Flexibility Work Hand in Hand	p. 114
Dividing Property with an Eye on Details	p. 119
Parents' Rights	p. 121
College Education	p. 125
Religious Training	p. 126
Phone Calls	p. 127
Presents	p. 129
Vacations	p. 129
Finances	p. 130
Parents Working after a Divorce	p. 131
How to Parent Apart	p. 132
The Family Conference: Increasing Avenues of Communication	p. 133
A United Front	p. 134
Making Placements Better	p. 134
Power to the Children	p. 138
Children as Coequals	p. 139
Sleeping Arrangements	p. 140
Children in the Middle	p. 140
A Different Sort of Communication	p. 143
Fighting in Front of the Children	p. 144
Where to Live	p. 146
Problems with the Other Parent	p. 147
Parents Who Won't Visit	p. 148
Lack of Cooperation	p. 149
Maltreatment	p. 152
Physical Abuse	p. 154
Who Will Be the Abusers?	p. 154
Proving Abuse	p. 156
Consequences of Childhood Physical Abuse	p. 157
Family/Domestic Violence	p. 159
Domestic Violence and Custody	p. 161
To Stay or Not to Stay: Is That Your Quandary?	p. 164
Emotional/Psychological Abuse	p. 165
Sexual Abuse	p. 167
Who Are the Sexual Abusers?	p. 169
Evaluating Sexual Abuse	p. 169
If You Think Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused	p. 170
Sexual Abuse Allegations: True or False?	p. 172
Devastating Effects of Sexual Abuse	p. 176
Warnings!!!!!!!	p. 181
The Only Certainty in Life Is Change	p. 183
Move-Away Placement Plan	p. 186
Longer Lasting Reactions	p. 187
A Plan to Make Everyone Feel Better	p. 188
The Challenge of Additional Adjustments	p. 188
Remarriage	p. 192
The Role of the Stepparent	p. 194
Disciplining Children	p. 195
Cementing Relationships	p. 197
The Other Extended Family	p. 197
Change as Children Grow Older	p. 198
Custody Do's and Don'ts	p. 200
A Boy Named Chris	p. 201
Custody Do's	p. 207
Custody Don'ts	p. 217
Resources Abound	p. 224
Psychiatrists	p. 225
Psychologists	p. 226
Social Workers	p. 228
Professional Organizations	p. 229
Current Resources on Child Custody/Divorce	p. 231
Index	p. 241
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.