If It Was Easy, They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon

by McCarthy, Jenna

• ISBN13: 9780425243022
• ISBN10: 0425243028
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2011-10-04
• Publisher: Berkley Pub Group

Summary

"Hilarious, smart, and utterly addicting. Watch out, Nora Ephron." -Valerie Frankel Jenna McCarthy presents an uproarious but insightful peek behind the curtains at the unholy state of matrimony. With ballsy wit and bawdy humor, she explores everything from male domestic idiocy and the frustrating misfires in spousal communication to how to stay true to the peskiest of vows: forsaking all others. Part in-your-face guide, part brutal confession, this book is a must-read manifesto on surviving marriage in an age when everyone seems to live forever and getting a divorce is as easy as ordering a latte.

Author Biography

Jenna McCarthy is the author of five books, including The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to Highchairs and Potties and Cheers to the New Mom. Her work appears regularly in Self, Ladies' Homs Journal, Allure, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and dozens of other publications. When she's not tweeting or updating her Facebook status or blagging for Vilage, she likes to pretend to be a tennis star. She lives mostly happily ever after with her husband and their two daughters in Santa Barbara, California.Visit www.jennamccarthy.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Til Death Do Us Part Is a Really Long Time	p. ix
Can We Talk? Obviously Not	p. 1
Sleep in Heavenly Peace, My Ass	p. 21
"I Was Watching That!": Life with the Cable Guy	p. 37
What's Cooking? (]'m Gonna Go Out on a Limb and Say Me)	p. 53
Domestic Bliss and Other Big Fat Lies	p. 69
Gee, Honey. Are You Sick? I Never Would Have Guessed	p. 83
The View from the Passenger Seat. . . Sucks	p. 97
Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?	p. 111
It's Only Money, Honey	p. 127
It's My Potty and I'll Cry If I Want To	p. 141
Should We Just Skip the $200 Dinner and Duke It Out at Home?	p. 155
It's the Thought That Counts (but Thanks for the Blender!)	p. 169
If It's Broken . . . Please God, Don't Fix It	p. 183
Friends and Family: Not Just a Phone Plan	p. 197
If You Build It, There Will Be Many, Many Arguments	p. 209
Are You in or Are You Out?	p. 223
Vacation: All I Ever Wanted	p. 237
He Can't Help It, He's a Guy	p. 251
You're Merely the Sperm Donor, Dear	p. 263
See? It Really Could Be Worse	p. 279
afterword: Famous Last Words	p. 295
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