Garden Lunacy : A Growing Concern

by Wolk, Art

• ISBN13: 9780972973038
• ISBN10: 0972973036
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2005-01-30
• Publisher: Aab Book Pub Co Llc

Summary

Garden Lunacy: A Growing Concern is a garden book unlike any you've ever read: It's not about plants, it's not about gardens, and it's not about how to garden. It's a hysterical book about gardeners. especially the loony one Art Wolk's book is an irreverent take on the world of horticulture. You'll laugh out loud as he exposes the difficult co-existence between gardeners and non-gardeners, and unearths the foibles, fears, joys, and calamities common to all tillers of the soil.Garden Lunacy contains countless examples of the unique ways in which gardeners view their universe: You often see plants first and humans last. You refuse to go on vacation during the planting season. You view a field of wildflowers as the center of the cosmos, while non-gardeners view it as the middle of nowhere. You see a deer as a bona fide backyard terrorist; they see Bambi.In a continuous stream of colorful scenes, you'll be taken into a world inhabited by gardeners of all levels, from non-gardening "gardeners" to eccentric, covetous, and compulsive gardeners.Most of all, you'll burst out laughing as Wolk shares his views on horticulture and describes his own oddball behavior as a gardener, lecturer, writer, photographer, and flower show exhibitor. From his vantage point as a lifelong gardener and horticultural voyeur, he gives gardeners an unforgettably accurate look at their domain.

Author Biography

Art Wolk is an award-winning writer, lecturer, photographer, and Grand Sweepstakes winner at the famed Philadelphia Flower Show. He infuses his writings and lectures with a combination of horticultural expertise and sharp sense of humor. Indeed, world-renowned garden writer Elvin McDonald describes him as ôthe Dave Barry of garden writing.ö Art has appeared on the Discovery Channel and the Home and Garden TV Network, and has been interviewed on radio stations throughout the United States, including National Public Radio. In addition, he has lectured at such prominent institutions as Longwood Gardens, the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society, the Scott Arboretum, and the Philadelphia Flower Show. His magazine articles have appeared in "Fine Gardening," "Better Homes and Gardens," "Green Scene," "Green Prints," and other publications. In 1991 Art founded, and for nine years managed, a children's garden in New Jersey. In 1999, he received the prestigious Quill and Trowel Award from the Garden Writers Association for a magazine article he wrote about the garden. His accomplishments also include: - Writing Garden Lunacy: A Growing Concern.- Giving over 150 lectures to garden clubs and horticultural organizations.- Having over 100 of his photographs published in garden magazines and newspapers.- Writing over 100 garden and photography book reviews for Library Journal.- Winning over 150 blue ribbons at the Philadelphia Flower Show.- Serving as President of the Horticultural Society of South Jersey for five years.- Creating a garden that has been the subject of numerous magazine and newspaper articles.- Running a successful mail-order plant company in the 1990s for five years.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements	13	(2)
Introduction	15	(4)
A Digger's Dictionary	19	(6)
Commandments for Real Gardeners
Are You for Real?	25	(3)
The Gardener's Ten Commandments	28	(3)
The Real Zeal of Organic Gardeners	31	(4)
At War with Critters
Attack of the Killer Wren	35	(3)
A Tale of Two Towns: Punxsutawney and Voorhees -OR- A Dickens of a Groundhog	38	(5)
Bonkers Over Bunnies	43	(4)
Garden Clubs and Societies
A Garden Club Is a Gardening Club . . .Or Is It?	47	(3)
Killer Questions at Gardening Lectures	50	(5)
Flower Shows --- Part One
Flower Show Jargon	55	(5)
My First Blue Ribbon -OR- Are You Sure You've Got the Name Right?	60	(3)
Why Is That Dark Cloud Following Me?	63	(12)
One Gardener's Opinions
Thin Seedlings? Perish the Thought!	75	(3)
Spring's Offspring	78	(3)
House for Sale -- Only Bids from Gardeners Accepted	81	(4)
A Plea to Steven Spielberg	85	(6)
Mothballs on Flower Stems	91	(4)
Gardeners and Non-Gardeners
Bridging the Gap	95	(4)
The Non-Gardeners Among Us	99	(2)
Non-Gardening ``Gardeners''	101	(3)
The Eyes Have It	104	(5)
Aberrant Behavior in Gardeners
Where Weed Is Never a Weed	109	(4)
Treats from the Trash	113	(4)
Plant Pirating 101	117	(3)
A New Jersey Yankee in Robert E. Lee's Court	120	(11)
FLOWER SHOWS - PART TWO
A Grand Experience	131	(10)
The Colder the Better	141	(6)
Garden Television and Magazines
A Really Odd Couple: Teaching Miss America to Plant Bulbs on TV	147	(6)
Will I Ever Get Out of This Lady's Bedroom Closet Alive?	153	(3)
Q + A = ZZZZ	156	(4)
Better Bulbs and Blossoms	160	(13)
Did You Ever Think About...?
What It Would Be Like If Everyone Were a Gardener	173	(4)
The Most Dangerous Hobby of All: Gardening	177	(4)
High-Status Gardening	181	(3)
The Turning-Our-Backs-On-Nature Movement	184	(3)
An On-Death's-Door Plant Society -or- Annuals on First, Perennials on Second	187	(6)
Front Yard Dictators	193	(6)
Gardeners to Love
A Senior Citizen Limbos Through Life	199	(5)
Cruising in South Jersey	204	(4)
Sylvia -- I Love You, Let Me Count the Ways	208	(7)
Barely Fictional Stories
A Visit to Hortiholics Anonymous	215	(4)
Are You Zoned Out?	219	(5)
Plant 9 from Outer Space	224	(5)
The High Cost of a Salad	229	(6)
On Becoming a Great, But Not Too Serious, Gardener
Why Serious Gardeners Shouldn't Act Serious	235	(4)
The Thrill of Occasional Failure, The Agony of Constant Success	239	(6)
Afterword	245