To Have and to Hold : A Personal Handbook For Building a Strong Marriage and Preventing Affairs

by Vaughan, Peggy

• ISBN13: 9781557048516
• ISBN10: 1557048517
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-06-15
• Publisher: Harpercollins

Summary

Drawn from Peggy Vaughan's 30 years of counseling work with married couples and the issue of affairs, this new handbook challenges the assumption that monogamy can be taken for granted, and provides the tools for building a strong marriage and preventing affairs.

Author Biography

Peggy Vaughan is an internationally recognized expert in the field of extramarital affairs, and has worked for thirty years helping people recover from the devastation of affairs. The author of The Monogamy Myth and six other books on the subject, she is frequently called upon by the media to comment on high-profile affairs and to provide advice on preventing affairs.

Her Dear Peggy website has served as a resource center for the past fourteen years, serving people around the world, and as founder of Beyond Affairs Network (BAN), Vaughan has helped people in crisis connect with each other through local support group meetings. She lives in San Diego, California, with her husband and family.

Table of Contents

Personal Note from the Author	p. v
Introduction	p. 1
What Won't Work (Relying on Attitudes and Beliefs)	p. 9
Being in love with your partner	p. 11
Having similar backgrounds and values	p. 18
Having mutual trust	p. 25
Having high moral principles and/or religious convictions	p. 33
Taking the marriage vows seriously/intending to be faithful	p. 37
Having children together-being a devoted mother/father	p. 44
Concerns about consequences: hurting others/getting caught	p. 49
Having no opportunity-no free time, never travel, etc.	p. 55
What Will Work (Focusing on Actions and Behaviors)	p. 59
Having ongoing honest communication about marital issues	p. 60
Acknowledging and discussing attractions to others	p. 67
Trying to meet your partner's needs	p. 72
Having a satisfying marital sex life	p. 77
Maintaining professional boundaries with co-workers	p. 84
Avoiding personal relationships on the Internet	p. 94
The bottom line	p. 101
Epilogue: The Special Roles of Society and of Parents	p. 106
Role of society (all of us) in preventing affairs	p. 106
Role of parents in prevention for future generations	p. 110
Questionnaire and Overview of Responses	p. 118
Copy of Entire Survey Questionnaire	p. 118
Overview of Responses (broken down by subcategories)	p. 119
Rankings of Responses to Questionnaire	p. 126
Rankings by Totals, Gender, Marital Status, Experience	p. 128
Bibliography	p. 133
Acknowledgments	p. 135
About the Author	p. 136
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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