Heart of the Marriage : How to Mend a Challenging Relationship and Strengthen Your Family

by Rivers, Charles

• ISBN13: 9780975898437
• ISBN10: 0975898434
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2006-08-01
• Publisher: Fila Publishing

Summary

Jesus Christ proclaimed boldly during the Sermon on the Mount that "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Many religious and secular couples have been driven to divorce because they forget that God and their spouses are the most highly prized treasures. In Heart of the Marriage, Charles Rivers, relationship expert and teacher, helps married couples find intimacy, happiness, and romance through biblical teachings. Rivers insists that couples basically do not loose the love they have for one another as much as they need to climb to new levels of love within the same relationship. In Heart of the Marriage, he shows us that it is possible to fall in love again at three different stages of our marriages. In his teachings, he defines the word love as an acronym, (Leave. Observe. Volunteer. Evolve.) Leave-learn how to jointly leave what was self-centered about your relationship in order to achieve a Christ-centered marriage. Observe-learn how to observe, using your five senses, your spouse's wants, needs, and desires of the heart. Volunteer-learn how to volunteer to cater to your spouse's desires of the heart, while avoiding the pitfalls that recreate past hurts and pains. Evolve-learn how to evolve into a more loving prosperous relationship because you dared to venture on the journey called love. Book jacket.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. vii
Leave
To Love One, You Must Forgive Many	p. 3
The Greatest Journey Begins	p. 8
When Loss Is Gain	p. 8
Conflicts Occur Where Controlling Behaviors Persist	p. 11
Would Having More Sex or Attaining More Wealth Improve Your Marriage?	p. 13
Why Tradiltional Counseling Fails	p. 13
The Myth of Compatibility	p. 14
What Drives Christians to Secular Counselors and Divorce?	p. 15
We Create More Hurt Than We Avoid by Playing Things Safely	p. 16
Moving Beyond the Fears of Pain to the Healing Process	p. 19
The Rebirth of Relational Knowledge in Your Marriage	p. 20
Don't Walk Out on Your Husband or Wife Just Yet	p. 21
What Happens After the Change Occurs From Within?	p. 22
You Will Remove a Bounty of Dirt Before You Reach Gold	p. 25
The Properties of Gold are the Same as the Attributes of Love	p. 25
End Your Search for False Gold	p. 26
How Do I get My Spouse to Yield Their Gold?	p. 27
Why Do Christian Couples Drift Apart?	p. 28
Observe
The Secret to Living Happily Ever After	p. 33
Any Man That Cleaves In Faith
Wins His Wife's Affections and Love for a Lifetime	p. 34
The Chemistry of Love	p. 35
Bridging the Gender Communication Gap	p. 35
Bring Your Relationship Above the Belt if it is to Last	p. 37
Why Do People Drift to the Siren Song of Erotic Love?	p. 37
Sex Enhances the Marriage But Divides the Dating Pair Bond	p. 38
Still not Assured on Friendship?	p. 40
Surrender Your Need to Control	p. 41
God Throws Adam a Curve Ball	p. 43
The Strength of Submission, the Weakness of Rebellion	p. 45
Develop a Hands-On Relationship	p. 47
The First Romance Was Written By God	p. 47
Tuning in the Five Senses of Love	p. 48
Learning To Listen With the Heart	p. 49
Learn to Stay Calm in a Tense Situation	p. 50
How to Avoid a Collision of Opinions	p. 50
When Bringing Out the Worst in You is Best For You	p. 52
Our View unto the World	p. 53
Praise God for Your Differences	p. 54
What Are Some Origins of Self Love?	p. 55
Volunteer
Volunteer Your Love for Life	p. 57
People Are Wounded By Love, Not By Hate	p. 58
How Does One Redeem a Heart Once it has been Injured by Love?	p. 59
Learning How to Forgive	p. 60
Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger	p. 65
The Satan Syndrome	p. 65
Learning How to Forgive Your Parents	p. 66
The Best They Could Myth	p. 67
The Path to Forgiveness	p. 68
Learning How to Forgive Everyone Else	p. 69
Learning How to Forgive Yourself	p. 70
Okay I Can Forgive, But How Does One Forget?	p. 71
Freeing Your Home of Sexual Sins and Addictions	p. 72
The Birth of Some Adulthood Addictions	p. 72
Addictions May Vary by Gender and Character Type	p. 72
External Addictions Verses Internal Addictions	p. 73
The Fastest Acting Addiction is Neither Ingested nor Inhaled	p. 73
Why the Strong Hold of Pornography and Extramarital Affairs?	p. 75
Don't Allow Secular Sexuality to Sneak into Your Christian Home	p. 76
Create More Sunny Days than Rainy	p. 77
Children are Born Conquerors	p. 79
Don't Let the Down Times Make You Turn Inward	p. 80
Celebrating the Bad Times as Good	p. 80
Evolve
The Evolution of the Human Spirit in Spirit	p. 83
Keep Your Heart Open to Change	p. 85
Why the Agreement of Two Over the One?	p. 87
God Intended Marriage to be the World's Most Powerful Team	p. 87
How Easily are Signals Misread	p. 88
Be in Relationship One to Another	p. 89
Learn to Take Corrective Criticism	p. 90
Coming Full Circle	p. 90
Marriage's Effect on Children and Children's Effect on Marriage	p. 92
If You Love the Father, He Will Love the Child	p. 92
Every Child is an Individual Creation	p. 95
When to Punish and When to Spank	p. 96
Child Honesty Verses the Shameful Factor	p. 97
Living Within the Double Standard	p. 99
Show Your Children God in Person	p. 99
The Teacher must Learn From the Pupil in Order to be Effective	p. 100
All Children Have Built-In Mercury-Driven Temperaments	p. 101
Children Are Like Little Camcorders	p. 102
Teaching Your Children the Values of Love	p. 103
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