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9781683691464

How to Survive a Horror Movie All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

by
  • ISBN13:

    9781683691464

  • ISBN10:

    1683691466

  • Edition: Reprint
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2019-09-24
  • Publisher: Quirk Books

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Summary

Written by the screenwriter and producer behind Stephen King’s It, and with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan—and it just might save your life

Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including:

• How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in
• The five types of slashers and how to defeat them
• How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects
• How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats
• What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead
 
So don't be afraid: no vampire, zombie horde, cannibal hillbilly, Japanese vengeance ghost, or other horror movie monster can hurt you—as long as you have this book.

Author Biography

Seth Grahame-Smith is a New York Times best-selling author (Pride and Prejudice and ZombiesAbraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter), screenwriter (Dark Shadows; The Lego Batman Movie), and producer (Stephen King’s It) of film and television. His novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies debuted at #3 on the New York Times Best Seller List, has sold over two million copies, and has been translated into more than twenty languages. A film adaptation was released in 2016.

Table of Contents

FOREWORD: AN APOLOGY FROM WES CRAVEN
 
CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSE
How Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie?
How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In?
C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North)
The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins
How to Survive a Horror Movie High School

CHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOL
The Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat Them
How to Survive Summer Vacation
How to Survive a Night of Babysitting
How to Stay Awake for a Week

CHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVIL
How to Survive a Haunted House
What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead
How to Defeat a Killer Doll
How to Tell If an Object Is Evil

CHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHY
How to Survive a Cemetery
The Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your Ghosts
How to Kill the Living Dead
How to Kill a Vampire
How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie

CHAPTER V: MONSTER MASH
How to Survive a Global Alien Attack
What to Do If It Follows You
How to Survive a Space-Based Horror Movie

CHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS”
What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in It
Four Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an Exorcism
What to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to Live
How to Defeat Satan

Supplemental Materials

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

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