I Love You More : How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage

by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

• ISBN13: 9780310262756
• ISBN10: 0310262755
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-08-01
• Publisher: Harpercollins Christian Pub

Summary

Companion workbook to I Love You More.

Table of Contents

A Letter to Our Readers	7	(23)
1. Taking Inventory of Your Marriage	9	(3)
2. Exploring Your Marital Armament	12	(2)
3. Why Every Marriage Has Everyday Problems	14	(2)
4. What Did You Expect?	16	(2)
5. The Big Question	18	(2)
6. So Many Choices	20	(2)
7. Your Attitude Quotient	22	(2)
8. What Have You Been Looking For?	24	(3)
9. Coping with the Invasion of Intimacy	27	(3)
10. When Husband and Wife Become Mom and Dad	30	(2)
11. Refueling the Sexual Fire	32	(3)
12. Taking Control of Your Time-Starved Marriage	35	(2)
13. Getting to Know You...All over Again	37	(3)
14. Healing Your Painful Past	40	(2)
15. Owning Up	42	(3)
16. High Hopes-Even When You're Hurting	45	(3)
17. Walking in Your Partner's Shoes	48	(2)
18. Assessing Your Spiritual Language	50	(2)
19. Finding the Inspiration around You	52	(3)
20. Taking Cover from a Bombshell and Its Fallout	55	(2)
21. Surviving Your Private Gethsemane	57	(2)
Small Group Discussion Guide	59

Excerpts

I Love You More Workbook for Men
Copyright © 2001, 2005 by Les and Leslie Parrott
Formerly titled When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages Workbook for Men
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
ISBN-10: 0-310-26275-5
ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26275-6
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by
permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These
websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of Zondervan,
nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or
any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the
publisher.
Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary
Agent, Orange, CA.
Interior design by Beth Shagene
Printed in the United States of America
05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 /?DCI/ 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
a letter to our readers
Itook a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty
minutes,” says comedian Woody Allen. “It involves Russia.”
Ever felt like that after reading a book? Sometimes it becomes
so easy to focus on finishing a book that we miss its main message.
What you hold in your hand is a kind of insurance policy
against that happening while you are reading I Love You More.
But it’s more than that too.
Books let us shake hands with new ideas. But these ideas
remain as flat as the printed page if we do not apply them to our
lives. For this reason, we have designed workbooks—one for husbands
and one for wives—that will help you incorporate into
your marriage the new lessons you learn while reading.
As you read through the main book, you will discover places
where it points you to do an exercise in these workbooks. Most
of them are designed for you to take about five minutes on your
own to complete a few questions or to take a brief self-test and
then compare your results with your spouse (that’s why it’s
important for each spouse to have a workbook). Or, it may give
you an exercise to do together so that you can put into practice
a new principle. This is where real learning occurs. This is where
new ideas become more than acquaintances; they begin to make
a positive difference in your marriage.
We have used these exercises with countless couples, both in
our counseling practice as well as in our seminar settings. They
are proven. They work. And that’s why we are passionate about
you doing them as you read through our book.
While there is no one right way to use these workbooks, we
suggest that you complete the exercises as you encounter them in
the book, or soon after you have finished reading the chapter that
covers the exercise. In other words, try to complete the exercises
for that chapter before moving on to the next one. The point is
to integrate the exercises into the process of reading the book.
Some of the exercises are designed to be used again and again
(“The Big Question,” for example), helping you continue to
deepen your level of intimacy. Others are more of a one-shot
exercise designed to give you a flash of insight.
As you proceed through the pages of this book, make it your
own. Don’t get too hung up on following the rules. If a particular
exercise leads you down a more intriguing path, take it. Some
of these exercises may simply serve as springboards to discussions
that fit your style more appropriately. However, if an exercise
seems a bit challenging, don’t give up on it. As the saying goes,
anything worth having is worth working for—especially when it
comes to marriage.
So, whether you are a speed reader or not, we hope you don’t
approach I Love You More just to check it off your “to-do” list.
We hope and pray that you will, instead, use these exercises, selftests,
and discussion questions to internalize the book’s message
and fortify your marriage with every possible good thing.
Exercise 1
taking inventory
of your marriage
Every couple bumps into bad things—circumstances that make
marriage more difficult. In this first exercise, we urge you to
take an inventory of everything threatening your love. Every
couple has their own unique list. What follows are some of the
most common. Take a moment, without input from your spouse,
to check those that currently top your list.
_ Frequent conflict
_ Financial pressures
_ Power struggles
_ Busy schedules
_ Work pressures
_ Career crisis
_ Infertility
_ Tumultuous relations with extended family
_ A rebellious child
_ Sexual unfulfillment
_ Lack of spiritual intimacy
_ Frequent communication breakdowns
_ Major illness
_ Addictions
_ Infidelities and lack of trust
_ Grief or loss
_ Other: __________________________________________________
Before discussing the list you just made with your partner, take
a few more minutes to note the things in your life right now that
are good for your marriage. What half-dozen good things are
augmenting the love you share? Your list could consist of anything
from “having a date night each week” to “being honest
with each other” to “sharing the housework.” Note what is currently
going on that buoys your marriage in spite of everything
else.
_ Being honest with each other
_ Sharing housework
_ Sharing humor or laughter
_ Having strong social support
_ Sharing a vision for our future
_ Enjoying a committed church life together
_ Enjoying a fulfilling sex life
_ Having a date night
_ Enjoying good children
_ Feeling in good physical health
_ Having a secure financial future
_ Sharing interests and hobbies
_ Enjoying strong extended family relationships
_ Supporting each other in prayer
_ Feeling secure in our marriage commitment
_ Feeling strong emotional health
_ Other: __________________________________________________
Once you’ve made your two lists, set aside some time to share
this information with each other. Don’t turn this into a gripe session.
The point of sharing your first list is to simply identify what
difficult things you are both contending with that impact your
marriage. The goal in sharing your second list is to remember the
positive, not just the negative.

---

Excerpted from I Love You More: How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage by Leslie Parrott, Les Parrott, Parrott
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.