It's Ok Not to Share : And Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids

by Shumaker, Heather

• ISBN13: 9781585429363
• ISBN10: 1585429368
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-08-02
• Publisher: Tarcher

Summary

Parenting can be such an overwhelming job that it's easy to lose track of where you stand on some of the more controversial subjects at the playground (What if my kid likes to rough house-isn't this ok as long as no one gets hurt? And what ifmy kid just doesn't feel like sharing?). In this inspiring and enlightening book, Heather Shumaker describes her quest to nail down "the rules" to raising smart, sensitive, and self-sufficient kids. Drawing on her own experiences as the mother of two small children, as well as on the work of child psychologists, pediatricians, educators and so on, in this book Shumaker gets to the heart of the matter on a host of important questions. Hint: many of the rules aren't what you think they are! The "rules" in this book focus on the toddler and preschool years-an important time for laying the foundation for competent and compassionate older kids and then adults. Here are a few of the rules: It's OK if it's not hurting people or property Bombs, guns and bad guys allowed. Boys can wear tutus. Pictures don't have to be pretty. Paint off the paper! Sex ed starts in preschool Kids don't have to say "Sorry." Love your kid's lies. IT'S OK NOT TO SHAREis an essential resource for any parent hoping to avoid PLAYDATEGATE (i.e. your child's behavior in a social interaction with another child clearly doesn't meet with another parent's approval)!

Author Biography

Heather Shumaker is a journalist whose writing has appeared in Parenting, Pregnancy, Organic Gardening, and other publications. A frequent speaker on parenting topics and an advocate for free, unstructured play in homes and schools, she has a special passion for nonprofits; before turning to writing full-time, she worked for The Nature Conservancy, Audubon Society, Hudson River Sloop Clearwater, and many others. She holds an MS degree from the Institute for Environmental Studies at University of Wisconsin-Madison, and a BA from Swarthmore College. Heather makes her home in northern Michigan, with her husband, three chickens, and two children.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. 1
Reviving Free Play
Don't Steal Play	p. 9
It's OK if it's Not Hurting People or Property	p. 23
Kids Need Conflict	p. 36
Wild Emotions
All Feelings are OK. All Behavior isn't	p. 61
Let Kids Hit and Kick	p. 72
"I Hate You!" is Nothing Personal	p. 83
Take Dictation from Your Tot	p. 94
Go Ahead: Let Him Hate the Baby!	p. 105
Sharing people and Toys
It's OK Not to Share	p. 115
Let Her Hog That Toy All Day!	p. 131
We're Not All Friends Here	p. 140
You Can't Play = A-OK	p. 155
Hang Up a "No Girls" Sign	p. 173
Take Rejection in Stride	p. 185
Running Room: Kids, Power and Action
Ban Chairs-Not Tag	p. 195
Give Kids Power	p. 205
Only Punch Friends	p. 218
Bombs, Guns and Bad Guys Allowed	p. 234
Boys Can Wear Tutus	p. 254
Creativity, Persistence and Empty Praise
Pictures Don't Have to Be Pretty	p. 269
Paint off the Paper	p. 278
Stop Saying "Good Job!"	p. 286
Bad words, Polite Words and Lies
Kids Don't Have to Say "Sorry"	p. 297
Let Your Kid Swear	p. 306
Love Your Kid's Lies	p. 316
Sensitive Subjects
Sex Ed Starts in Preschool	p. 329
Be Buddies with Dead Birds	p. 342
Renegade Rules in the Real World
Make Some Enemies at the Playground	p. 357
Goof Up	p. 368
Appendix	p. 371
Acknowledgments	p. 377
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.