What is included with this book?
Introduction | p. 1 |
What Did I Ever See in My Ex? | p. 5 |
Sharing Custody with a Jerk | |
Life's Most Important Job | |
The Scope of This Book | |
Keeping It in Perspective | |
Driving Backward | |
If It Walks like a Jerk... | |
Respect: A Casualty of Divorce | |
Your History Plays a Part | |
What's Done Is Still Happening | |
Ted's Time Bomb | |
Renegotiating Your Relationship | |
Ending Self-Destructive Self-Talk | |
Post-Crisis Goals | |
When "I Do" Turns into "I Don't Have to Anymore" | |
Identifying the Problem (Other Than Your Ex Is a Jerk) | p. 29 |
It's Always Something | |
Dealing with Denial | |
Separating the Feelings from the Problems | |
The Bigger Picture | |
The Think-Feel-Do Cycle | |
Changing Your Actions | |
What exactly is the Problem Here? | |
To Solve or Not to Solve | |
Isolating the Problem | |
Accepting Tolerable Situations | |
Who Tops the Problem Pyramid? | p. 49 |
Responsibility | |
Contributing to the Solution | |
Justifying Your Actions | |
Making Assumptions | |
Engaging in Deliberate Manipulation | |
Projecting the Worst | |
Placing Blame | |
Allowing Guilt | |
Claiming Power | |
The Flip Side of the Coin: Taking Too Much Responsibility | |
The Problem Pyramid | |
Common Problems and Identifying Who Tops Them | |
When You Top the Problem Pyramid | p. 69 |
I Pick Your Battles | |
Create a Plan of Action | |
Decide When and Where to Speak to Your Ex | |
Find a Neutral Territory | |
Reframe Your Relationship: This Isn't War, its Business | |
Know What You Want from Your Ex | |
Use "I" Statements to Communicate | |
Why "I" Statements Are Effective | |
Tone of Voice and Body Language | |
Positive Assertions Disarm Your Opponent | |
Positive Versus Negative Assertions | |
Inter-gender Communication | |
Eliminate "Always" and "Never" | |
Make Your Communication Effective | |
Practice Makes Perfect | |
When the "I" Statement Meets Resistance | |
When Your Ex Doesn't Give a $@#% How You Feel | |
Save the Sarcasm | |
Disengaging | |
Setting Yourself Up for Success | |
Tagging Positive Assertions with a Choice | |
Meaning What You Say | |
Brainstorming Solutions to Your Problems | |
Avoiding All-or-Nothing Traps | |
Taking It Slowly | |
Asking Questions | |
Role-Play: Doing Your Homework | |
Summing It Up | |
Problems That You Need to Solve | p. 101 |
Working Through the Problems | |
My Ex Can Do No Wrong | |
Changing Plans | |
In Your Face on Facebook | |
Blockbuster Bust | |
Party Time | |
Visitation Via Skype | |
You've Got Mail! | |
A Recap | |
Learning to Cooperate with Your Ex | p. 123 |
Working at Change | |
The Fight-or-Flight Response | |
Deep Breathing: A Technique That Calms | |
Shifting Your Mind-Set | |
Getting What We Give | |
Listening to Understand | |
Finding Agreement | |
Pulling Instead of Pushing | |
Avoiding Communication Blocks | |
The Box Step of Cooperative Communication | |
Catch 'Em Doing It Right | |
If You Lose It Completely, Apologize | |
Giving Yourself Permission to Compromise | |
When Your Child Tops the Problem Pyramid | p. 145 |
Protecting Your Children | |
Overprotecting them | |
Listening Neutrally to Your Child | |
Refraining from Acting on Your Own Feelings | |
Listening with Heart | |
Cracking the Kids' Code | |
Acknowledging | |
Brainstorming with Kids | |
Giving Advice Carefully | |
Wondering What Would Happen If... | |
Handling Negativity | |
Examining Consequences | |
Letting It Rest | |
Allowing Your Child to Have a Relationship with the Other Parent | |
Handling Aftershocks Ahead of Time | |
Handling Manipulation | |
When Your Child's Problem Is with You | |
The Pre-verbal Child | |
Onions in the Tuna | |
What to Do When Your Child Tops the Problem Pyramid | |
Staying Out of It | |
Empowering Your Child | p. 183 |
Empowerment = Self-Esteem | |
A Word about Discipline | |
Unconditional Love | |
Human Being Versus Human Doing | |
Listening to Your Child | |
Showing Confidence | |
Letting Go of Ideals | |
Watching Out for "But" | |
Separating Compliments from Requests | |
Separating Behavior from Love | |
Not Validating the "Monsters" | |
Shifting the Focus | |
Being a Role Model | |
When your Ex Tops the Problem Pyramid | p. 201 |
How to Communicate When the Problem Belongs to Your Ex | |
Taking Your Time | |
Recognizing Bullying Techniques | |
Remaining Non-Defensive | |
Handing the Problem Back | |
Agreeing with Content | |
Click! The Ex Who Avoids | |
Claiming the Top of the Pyramid | |
Needing Legal or Professional Help | |
When Your Ex's "Other" Tops the Problem Pyramid | |
The Role of the Stepparent | |
Communicating in Our Digital World | p. 225 |
Can You Hear Me Now? | |
Communicating Digitally | |
Texting Temptation | |
I See You | |
Email Equals | |
He's Got Mail | |
Face It | |
A Communication Disaster | |
Play It Again, Sam | |
I Just Called to Say I Don't Love You | |
No Hype with Skype | |
Pick a Date | |
Divorced Homes Are Different (Sometimes) | p. 241 |
Your Family Is Unique | |
And Sometimes Divorced Homes Aren't So Different After All | |
Money Issues Go Both Ways | |
Different Parenting Styles | |
Creating a Different Structure | |
Seventeen Guidelines toward a Successful Foundation | |
Your Child's Needs and Rights | |
Living (and Dating) on the Bright Side | p. 275 |
Healing After Divorce | |
Moving forward | |
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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