Making Divorce Easier on Your Child: 50 Effective Ways to Help Children Adjust

by Long, Nicholas; Forehand, Rex

• ISBN13: 9780809294190
• ISBN10: 0809294192
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2002-03-06
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education

Summary

From the bestselling authors ofParenting the Strong-Willed Child, expert strategies and action steps for divorcing parentsWhile there are many trade books on children and divorce, most tend to be filled with extensive discussions of the psychological impact on children, with little effective advice. You want immediate answers and quick access to expert strategies you can use to help your kids today and in the future.Making Divorce Easier on Your Childarms you with 50 effective strategies and action steps for helping your kids cope with divorce, packaged in a convenient, quick-bite format. It is based on the authors' years of clinical experience dealing with the children of divorce, as well as their extensive research into the causes and cures of divorce-related emotional problems."Informative and sensible, offering realistic, clear-cut recommendations."Robert Brooks, Ph.D., Faculty, Harvard Medical School, and coauthor ofRaising Resilient Children

Author Biography

Nicholas Long, Ph.D., is a pediatrics professor and the director of pediatric psychology at the University of Arkansas Medical School and Arkansas Children's Hospital. He is also the director of the Center for Effective Parenting, which conducts seminars and workshops for parents and professionals. He is a noted public speaker and researcher, is frequently quoted in national parenting publications, and has appeared on many local television and radio programs.

Rex Forehand, Ph.D., is Regents professor of clinical psychology and the director of the Institute for Behavioral Research at the University of Georgia. He is one of the most frequently cited authors in psychology and has been identified by his peers as one of the leading child psychologists in the United States. He presents workshops around the United States, as well as in countries such as Canada, New Zealand, and Australia.

Table of Contents

Preface	xvii
Introduction	1	(14)
Part 1 Planning the Divorce and Telling Your Child
Understand the Divorce Laws and Process in Your Community	15	(5)
Work Out the Immediate Issues	20	(3)
Tell Your Child Together When the Decision to Divorce is Made	23	(5)
Anticipate Questions Your Child May Have	28	(4)
Avoid Custody Disputes: Consider Mediation	32	(5)
Part 2 Looking After Your Own Well-Being During and Following Divorce
Expect an Adjustment Period	37	(4)
Examine Your Coping Style	41	(3)
Develop a Support System for Yourself	44	(4)
Manage the Stress in Your Life	48	(7)
Part 3 Issues Between you and Your Ex-Spouse During and Following Divorce
Communicate Effectively with Your Ex-Spouse	55	(4)
Do Not Argue with Your Ex-Spouse in Front of Your Child	59	(5)
Do Not Use Your Child as a Messenger or Spy	64	(3)
Do Not Use Your Child as an Ally	67	(3)
Do Not Place Restrictions on What Your Child Can Tell Your Ex-Spouse	70	(2)
Do Not Criticize Your Ex-Spouse in Your Child's Presence	72	(3)
Redefine Your Relationship with Your Ex-Spouse	75	(8)
Part 4 Visitation Issues
Encourage Involvement of the Noncustodial Parent	83	(3)
Ensure Frequent and Predictable Contact Between Your Child and the Noncustodial Parent	86	(5)
Make Visitation Transitions Smooth	91	(4)
Effectively Handle Birthdays, Holidays, and Special Occasions	95	(6)
Part 5 Divorced Parenting: General Guidelines
Change the Way You Think About Your Child	101	(3)
Expect Your Child to Play One Parent Against the Other	104	(3)
Maintain Regular Child Support Payments	107	(3)
Minimize Changes	110	(5)
Maintain Family Traditions and Rituals	115	(3)
Develop a Parenting Plan	118	(5)
Nurture Your Relationship with Your Child	123	(4)
Have Fun with Your Child	127	(3)
Communicate ``I Love You'' to Your Child	130	(3)
Encourage Your Child to Express Feelings	133	(3)
Be Consistent with Discipline	136	(4)
Monitor Your Child's Activities	140	(3)
Monitor School Performance	143	(4)
Build Your Child's Self-Esteem	147	(3)
Develop Greater Patience and Regain Your Lost Patience	150	(3)
Never Blame Your Child for the Divorce	153	(2)
Do Not Make Promises You Might Not Keep	155	(2)
Do Not Overcompensate for Your Divorce	157	(2)
Do Not Burden Your Child with Your Personal and Financial Concerns	159	(3)
Set a Good Example of How to Handle the Divorce	162	(2)
Deal with Your Child's Unrealistic Expectations Directly	164	(3)
Do Not Compare Your Child to Your Ex-Spouse in a Negative Way	167	(2)
Accept Your Child's Love for His Other Parent	169	(4)
Part 6 The Importance of Other Relationships
Honor Sibling Relationships	173	(2)
Encourage Your Child's Relationships with Extended Family Members	175	(5)
Help Your Child Cope if the Noncustodial Parent Becomes Uninvolved	180	(3)
Think About When and How to Introduce Individuals You Date	183	(3)
Effectively Handle New Family Combinations	186	(5)
Part 7 Seeking Professional Help
Seek Professional Help for Your Child if Needed	191	(8)
Part 8 Moving Toward the Future
Think Positive	199	(2)
Bibliography	201	(8)
Resources	209	(14)
Index	223