Introduction | p. 1 |
1942-1949 | |
Recipe for My Conception | p. 7 |
"I'm a Drummer!" | p. 9 |
Three Jacks and a Jill | p. 11 |
Spitball Symphony | p. 13 |
Waiting for the Caboose | p. 15 |
The Mob Invites My Father | p. 17 |
Tormenting My Band Teacher | p. 20 |
My Portraits of Jazz Greats | p. 23 |
Sneaking in to See Gene Krupa | p. 26 |
"Some Kind of Genius" | p. 28 |
Getting Gertie's Garter | p. 30 |
Last Stop: Louis Prima | p. 34 |
The Spaghetti Did It! | p. 36 |
Zoot Suit, Shades and "The Walk" | p. 39 |
Too Green for Big-Time Jazz | p. 43 |
Not Really the Blues | p. 46 |
"Who's Rousseau? " | p. 48 |
1950-1966 | |
"I'm a Composer!" | p. 53 |
Jazz and Drugs 101 | p. 56 |
A Heart-Stopping Event | p. 58 |
Taps for Big Sid | p. 60 |
Verbal Sparring with John Cage | p. 61 |
"It's Not Personal" | p. 63 |
Brahms Made Me Jump and Run | p. 65 |
My Lessons with Milhaud | p. 66 |
Big-Rig Genius | p. 68 |
Advice from a Stranger | p. 70 |
At War with the Army | p. 72 |
Journey to San Marco | p. 76 |
An American Saint in Paris | p. 79 |
Greenberg's Law | p. 81 |
My First New York Review | p. 84 |
Premiere at the Five Spot Cafe | p. 86 |
The Stripper and West Side Story | p. 88 |
Smoking Up to Play viola | p. 92 |
Casting a Spell on Bach | p. 94 |
Midnight Martinis with Henry Brant | p. 96 |
The Rite of Spring with Chivas Regal | p. 98 |
The Enchanted Triangle | p. 101 |
Harry Partch: In the Nose of a Cow | p. 103 |
Romancing a Spy in Bucharest | p. 105 |
Diplomacy by Vodka | p. 110 |
Epiphany in Carnegie Tavern | p. 112 |
Turning My Father Around | p. 114 |
My Creative Demon | p. 117 |
Wisdom by Candlelight | p. 120 |
Composer in Disguise | p. 122 |
Kenny's Answer to Life | p. 124 |
"I'm Really Glad You Wrote That Piece" | p. 126 |
Brushes with Leonard Bernstein | p. 128 |
Absinthe-Minded Composer | p. 131 |
Frantic on Broadway | p. 132 |
Ben's Naked Deadline | p. 134 |
The Gingerman | p. 136 |
"Who Are You?" Asked Elizabeth Taylor | p. 137 |
The Almost-Never-Finished Concerto | p. 139 |
The Captain's Final Move | p. 141 |
"I'm a Spy!" | p. 143 |
Writing a Ballet Overnight | p. 144 |
"Who Is This Woman? " | p. 148 |
1967-Present | |
Incident on West 57th Street | p. 153 |
Opera Pickles | p. 157 |
"I Thought He'd Never See It" | p. 158 |
Eye-Opener from Joseph Heller | p. 161 |
Mysterious Paths to Musical Careers | p. 163 |
Being a Composer Father | p. 166 |
Use It or Lose It | p. 170 |
"Stop, Thief!" | p. 171 |
Danny Kaye's Noodle Tree | p. 174 |
Hit by Pulitzer Buckshot | p. 177 |
Dizzy's Magnetic Head | p. 179 |
Floating Down the Root Canal | p. 181 |
The Essence of Hypnosis | p. 184 |
Violinists and Football | p. 186 |
"What's the Matter-Can't You Count? " | p. 188 |
Appreciation by Proxy | p. 189 |
Psychic Feathers | p. 190 |
Then I Stood on My Head | p. 193 |
Enemies Into Allies | p. 196 |
"How Do I Stand it?" | p. 198 |
Getting Religion in the Arctic | p. 200 |
Group Therapy, Inuit Style | p. 202 |
The Wrong Church | p. 204 |
A Lesson from the Irish Sea | p. 205 |
Communicating by Iceberg | p. 207 |
Tired Tongue in Bali | p. 208 |
My Decomposing Pants | p. 210 |
"You Oughta Be on Facebook" | p. 212 |
Post-Humorous Works | p. 214 |
Appendix | p. 217 |
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