Table of Contents
|I Hate Andrea Young||p. 1|
|Finger Painting with Ms. Hannah||p. 5|
|Weird People||p. 22|
|What a Mess!||p. 28|
|The Secret of the Teachers' Lounge||p. 35|
|The Museum of Hanging Garbage||p. 43|
|Performance Art||p. 53|
|The Friendship Picture||p. 58|
|Mr. Klutz and the Secret Drawer||p. 65|
|The Big Stupid Art Contest||p. 72|
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I Hate Andrea Young
"Miss Daisy! A.J. hit me!"
"I did not," I said.
"He did too! He bumped his elbow against my elbow!"
Andrea Young is so annoying. I barely touched her stupid elbow. She was moaning and holding her arm like an elephant stepped on it.
I wish an elephant would step on her head. Andrea has been bothering me since we were little kids. And that's a long time, because now we're in second grade.
"I saw A.J. do it, Miss Daisy," said Emily. She is Andrea's friend and is just as annoying. But in a different way.
"Am I going to have to send anyone to Mr. Klutz's office?" Miss Daisy asked.
Mr. Klutz is the principal, and that means he is like the king of the school.
"No," me and Andrea said.
"Good, because it's time for us to go to art class. I don't want you to miss it. Our art teacher, Ms. Hannah, is really nice, and I'm sure she has some fun activities planned for you."
"Art?" I said. "I hate art."
"Oh, you hate everything, A.J.," said Andrea, who thinks she knows everything.
It just so happens that I do not hate everything. I don't hate football. I don't hate skateboarding. I don't hate trick biking. I don't hate monster movies. Especially when the monsters crush cars and stuff. But I do hate school, and I especially hate Andrea.
"I love art," Andrea announced, like anybody really cared. She took out a big art box she had brought from home. It had crayons and colored pencils and other stuff in it. "When I grow up, I want to be an artist. My mom thinks I'm really creative. I like to create things."
"She should create an empty space where she is right now," I whispered to my friend Ryan, who sits in the row next to me.
"Hahahaha!" Ryan laughed, but Miss Daisy made a mean face at him and he shut up.
"Let's go, second graders!" she said. "Single file to the art room. Ms. Hannah is waiting for us"
Drawing pictures is for babies, if you ask me. And art is stupid.My Weird School #4: Ms. Hannah Is Bananas!. Copyright © by Dan Gutman. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Excerpted from Ms. Hannah Is Bananas! by Dan Gutman
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