The Redneck Wedding Planner

Five-time bride Ophelia Peterson knows a thing or two about planning and throwing a white-trash wedding to remember. Finally, all of her hard-won wisdom is available inThe Redneck Wedding Planner.In six chapters loaded with Do's and Don'ts, checklists, tips, and cautionary advice, Ophelia shares hilarious ways to cut wedding costs but maximize style, fun, and safety. Wedding dress: Buy, rent, or borrow?Buying can actually be the thrifty choice. (You'll almost certainly be spreading the high purchase price over a number of marriages.) Hors d'oeuvres: What are they?French for "not enough to eat." Favored by Yankees and other cretins. Sporty accessory:Attach your veil to a white lace ball-cap for a playful touch. Careful now:Don't forget to set up a weapons-check station in the church foyer. Show off that uniform:If you are lucky enough to have bagged a good provider from FedEx, UPS, or Texaco, consider his uniform as an E-Z care tuxedo alternative. Whether you hail from Broken Springs, Texas, or Squirrel's Nest, Arkansas, whether you just graduated from the nail and beauty academy or are living in decadent "manufactured housing," say "I do" to the funniest, most practical guide ever to roar into NASCAR Nation.