Relationships, Participant's Guide : An Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great

by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

• ISBN13: 9780310225850
• ISBN10: 031022585X
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-07-01
• Publisher: Harpercollins Christian Pub

Summary

Today more than ever, people long for connection. The Relationships GroupWare helps people build strong, lasting bonds. In 6 sessions, relationship experts Les and Leslie Parrott take participants below the surface to the depths of building vital, satisfying connections. Drawing on the latest research, they provide cutting-edge tools to handle hard times and to really succeed at forging strong, rewarding relationships with friends, with the opposite sex, with family, and with God. Besides a brief message to group leaders and a promotional section for recruitment purposes, the 60-minute video includes 6 discussion jump-starts by the Parrotts. Introducing key concepts, these provide insightful, stimulating introductions to the following sessions: ·The Compulsion for Completion · Keeping Family Ties from Pulling Strings ·Crossing the Gender Line ·Friends to Die For ·What to Do When Friends Fail? ·Relating to God Without Feeling Phony -- These hour-long interactive sessions will help participants learn who they are and what they bring into relationships, learn the language of the opposite sex, build friendships that last, handle breakups without falling apart, build a deep relationship with God, and more.

Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction

Session 1: The Compulsion for Completion

Session 2: Keeping Family Ties from Pulling Strings

Session 3: Crossing the Gender Line

Session 4: Friends to Die For

Session 5: What to Do When Friends Fail

Excerpts

On Your Own:
Relational Readiness
To help you assess how ready you are to engage in friendships and other meaningful relationships, respond to each item listed below using the following scale:
4 — Often
3 — Sometimes
2 — Seldom
1 — Never
____ I feel a sense of relief when I don’t have to be alone.
____ Any relationship is better than no relationship at all.
____ I experience a little bit of panic when I think of not having someone to be close to.
____ The very idea of solitude strikes fear in my heart.
____ I’m tempted to settle for any kind of friendship because I’m not sure I’ll find just the right friend for me.
____ In most of my relationships, I wait to be “selected” rather than taking the initiative myself to do the selecting.
____ When I have special friendships, I feel better about myself.
____ I don’t like to be alone.
____ I don’t have a very clear idea of the personal qualities I look for in a person in terms of friendship.
____ If I don’t have someone to be close to, I feel less complete.
Scoring: Add the numbers you have placed next to each statement. There is a possible total of forty points. To interpret your score, use the following scale:
30 – 40 There is a strong indication that you have a need to establish a healthier sense of your identity and personal wholeness. You will want to pay special attention to the four steps toward wholeness discussed in the video.
20 – 29 You have done some significant work in establishing a healthy identity and a good sense of self-worth. There’s still work to do, however, in continuing to construct an integrated and whole sense of self that will help to ensure healthier relationships.
1 – 19 You have an established sense of security in who you are and a confident perspective on your sense of personal wholeness, which should serve you well in your relationships.
On Your Own:
Taking Off Your Masks
This exercise will help you become more aware of the masks you sometimes use to guard against feeling judged or negatively evaluated. It focuses on three areas: work, home, and church. Feel free to add other areas, as well.
I wear masks at work (or school):
Very Often -- Almost Never
1 –2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7
If your answer was between one and four, describe the kinds of masks you wear and with whom.
I wear masks at home:
Very Often -- Almost Never
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7
If your answer was between one and four, describe the kinds of masks you wear and with whom.
I wear masks at church:
Very Often -- Almost Never
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7
If your answer was between one and four, describe the kinds of masks you wear and with whom.
Huddle Time:
Masks We Wear
• How willing and comfortable are you in disclosing yourself to others and letting yourself be known by others?
• What social masks do you sometimes wear that guard your vulnerability?
• What can you do to discard unhealthy masks? Are all masks unhealthy?
Extra-Mile Exercise
Getting into the “driver’s seat” — especially when you’ve lived most of your life as a passenger — will take hard work, initiative, purpose, and clear-cut goals. Healthy relationships will grow out of your having an identity, a purpose, courage, and commitment.
The following exercise will help you construct a personal statement of purpose and then create goals to help you fulfill that purpose. Begin by determining what you value. Though difficult, force yourself to rank the following twelve values with “1” being the most important to you.
____ Achievement — feeling satisfaction from a job well done.
____ Challenges — using creativity, training, and intelligence to overcome obstacles.
____ Education — increasing your intellectual understanding of life.
____ Aesthetics — appreciating the beauty in people, art, or nature.
____ Health — feeling good in a physical and emotional sense.
____ Independence — having the freedom to do your own thing.
____ Morality — maintaining your moral, ethical, and religious standards.
____ Pleasure — having time to play and have a good time.
____ Relationships — caring for, sharing with, and giving to those close to you.
____ Spirituality — cultivating a meaningful and personal relationship with God.
____ Security — feeling safe; free from unexpected and unpleasant changes.
____ Service to Others — knowing you have benefited others.
____ Wealth — improving your financial position.
Ponder the values that are most meaningful to you. Consider how your top three or four values can be incorporated into a meaningful statement of purpose. This statement does not need to be permanent, as it will change throughout your life. For now, draft something that seems right for you at this time in your life — something that is personally compelling and comes from the heart.
My purpose:
Now that your purpose statement has been drafted, note some specific and obtainable goals that will serve as a means to fulfill it.

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Excerpted from Relationships, Participant's Guide: An Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great Open and Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better and Good Relationships Great by Leslie Parrott, Les Parrott
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.