The Republican Playbook

by Borowitz, Andy

• ISBN13: 9781401302900
• ISBN10: 1401302904
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2006-10-03
• Publisher: Hachette Books

Summary

Packed with detailed instructions on essential topics like how to run a smear campaign, how to cover a leak and how to plant one, plus diagrams for fully functioning voting booth/ballot shredders, this is a must-read to surviving the 2006 elections.

Table of Contents

MEMO	9	(4)
THE REPUBLICAN PLAYBOOK THROUGH HISTORY	13	(3)
THE REPUBLICAN PLAYBOOK-FAQS	16	(4)
TALKING POINTS: THE DEMOCRAT PARTY AND WHY IT IS BAD	18	(2)
TAP INTO THE MAGICAL POWER OF LYING	20	(2)
FUNDRAISING LETTER FROM GOD	22	(2)
SCARE TACTIC: THE SUPREME COURT	24	(2)
MANIPULATING THE TERROR ALERT SYSTEM FOR MAXIMUM IMPACT	26	(4)
TARGET: HOWARD DEAN	28	(2)
THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEADERSHIP SERIES LESSON 1: IRAQ	30	(44)
NEW VOTING BOOTH DESIGNS FOR HEAVILY DEMOCRAT DISTRICTS	32	(4)
SIX DEGREES OF HILLARY CLINTON	36	(6)
DIRTY TRICK: PUSH POLLING	38	(2)
TALKING POINTS: INTELLIGENT DESIGN	40	(2)
PAYING FOR FAKE NEWSPAPER STORIES: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE	42	(2)
INFILTRATING THE DEMOCRATS: DOS AND DON'TS	44	(3)
DID YOU KNOW...?	47	(1)
SCARE TACTIC: SOCIAL SECURITY	48	(4)
TALKING POINTS: TORTURE	50	(2)
ALL-PURPOSE FOLKSY ANECDOTE TEMPLATETM	52	(2)
THE FOG OF WAR: HOW TO CREATE IT	54	(4)
DIRTY TRICK: FUN WITH WIKIPEDIA	56	(2)
FOREWORD TO THE 1972 EDITION BY PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON	58	(2)
REPUBLICAN EXCEPTIONS TO THE TEN COMMANDMENTS	60	(6)
TALKING POINTS: GAY CARTOONS	62	(2)
DIRTY TRICK: FUN WITH PHOTOSHOP	64	(2)
HOW TO BREEZE THROUGH CONFIRMATION HEARINGS WHILE SAYING PRACTICALLY NOTHING AT ALL	66	(2)
REPUBLICAN CHILDREN'S BOOKS: UPCOMING RELEASES	68	(2)
PROPOSE A BOGUS CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT	70	(2)
REPUBLICAN-TO-ENGLISH GLOSSARY	72	(2)
THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEADERSHIP SERIES LESSON 2: THE ENVIRONMENT	74	(16)
ACCUSE THE DEMOCRATS OF FLIP-FLOPPING, EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T	76	(2)
OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN SUPREME COURT LITMUS TEST	78	(4)
TARGET: MICHAEL MOORE	80	(2)
DR. FRIST'S LONG-DISTANCE VIDEOTAPE DIAGNOSES OF LEADING DEMOCRATS	82	(6)
KEYS TO VICTORY: MINNESOTA	84	(2)
DIRTY TRICK: CLAIM THE DEMOCRATS ARE FRENCH	86	(2)
THE REPUBLICAN ANSWER TO ROCK THE VOTE: STOP THE VOTE	88	(2)
THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEADERSHIP SERIES LESSON 3: DISASTER PREPAREDNESS	90	(26)
TURN THE DEMOCRATS INTO MOMMIES	92	(2)
A FEW WORDS FROM BUSH'S BRAIN	94	(4)
ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET, DONKEYS NEVER REMEMBER FOREWORD TO THE 1988 EDITION BY PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN	98	(2)
DUELING TIPS FROM ZELL MILLER	100	(2)
DIVERSITY, AND HOW TO PRETEND WE HAVE IT	102	(2)
REPUBLICAN MORPH-O-MATIC	104	(4)
TALKING POINTS: DOMESTIC SPYING	106	(2)
THE FOX NEWS CHANNEL-NEWS WE CAN USE	108	(2)
REPUBLICAN FIRST LADIES: DOS AND DON'TS	110	(6)
KEYS TO VICTORY: FLORIDA	112	(2)
TARGET: ALEC BALDWIN	114	(2)
THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEADERSHIP SERIES LESSON 4: GUANTANAMO	116	(26)
FOREWORD TO THE 1990 EDITION BY PRESIDENT GEORGE H.W. BUSH	118	(2)
HOW TO DRAIN ALL SPONTANEITY FROM YOUR TOWN HALL MEETINGS	120	(2)
SCAPEGOATS 2006: AN ELECTION-YEAR GUIDE	122	(2)
OFFICIAL REPUBLICAN SLOGAN GENERATOR	124	(4)
TALKING POINTS: GAY WESTERNS	126	(2)
WHEN IN DOUBT, CUT TAXES	128	(2)
THE POLITICS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE	130	(6)
TALKING POINTS: THE ENVIRONMENT	132	(2)
KEYS TO VICTORY: NEW YORK	134	(2)
HOT DEBATE TIPS	136	(2)
THE BEAUTY OF A WELL-TIMED LEAK	138	(4)
KEYS TO VICTORY: TEXAS	140	(2)
THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEADERSHIP SERIES LESSON 5: EXIT STRATEGY	142	(13)
DENY KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE	144	(2)
THE WAR ON TERROR IS YOUR FRIEND	146	(4)
KEYS TO VICTORY: LOUISIANA	148	(2)
OCTOBER SURPRISES: THE NUCLEAR OPTION	150	(5)
INDEX	155