Somebody's Gotta Say It

by Boortz, Neal

• ISBN13: 9780060878207
• ISBN10: 0060878207
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publications

Summary

With its outrageous brand of conservative talk, The Neal Boortz Show has been one of talk radio's hottest commodities for more than twentyfive years. Known as the Talkmaster and the High Priest of the Church of the Painful Truth, Boortz has been entertaining his rabid followers with his commentary on everything from corruption in Washington to the troops overseas. Now, with Somebody's Gotta Say It, Neal gives us his biggest book yeta hilarious but seriousastaxes screed covering all the issues that get Neal and his millions of listeners hot under the collar on a daily basis. Among his subjects: The Tyranny of the Children: How we've ceded control to our bratty little runts . . . and how to take it back They're Government Schools, Not "Public" Schools . . . and they're killing us. The Dumb Masses: Say that really fastand then have a look in the mirror! Socialized Medicine: Get ready for free crappy health care for allNow, with Extra Taxes! Soccer Moms: The leaders of a culture where every precaution has been taken to make sure your son may never actually get hit! The wussification of America continues... Full of irresistible wisecracks and irrefutable libertarian wisdom, Somebody's Gotta Say It is the next big conservative talkradio bestseller.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. 1
Death Knocks-Along with Opportunity	p. 11
Schenectady	p. 22
The War on the Individual	p. 28
Because She's Earned It	p. 45
I'm Never Going to Listen to You Again	p. 53
Flag Burning	p. 61
Evolution vs. Creation	p. 68
Homosexuals and Their (Gasp!) Agenda	p. 73
The Ninth Circuit and the Pledge of Allegiance	p. 84
Prayer in the Schools	p. 87
The Rainbow Fraud	p. 101
Nice Pencils! Now, Fork Them Over...	p. 111
Shining a Lighght on Arts Funding	p. 121
The Louder the Commercial...the Dumber They Think You Are	p. 135
The Right to Vote	p. 140
The "Invest in America" Approach	p. 155
Abortion	p. 158
Giving Back	p. 161
What Kind of Mindless Horsesqueeze Is This?	p. 173
The Tragedy of Our Government Schools	p. 187
Shopping with Svetlana	p. 216
Fixing Our Schools	p. 224
Things That Should Be Taught in Government Schools	p. 237
Minimum Wage	p. 243
Sorry, Not Interested	p. 263
Reasons Not to Vote for...	p. 269
The Democrats' (Secret) Plan for America	p. 273
Our Absurd War on Drugs	p. 313
Chasing Cats	p. 324
Freedom-Loving? I Think Not	p. 338
Terrorizing the Mailroom	p. 352
Smokers	p. 356
The Presence Ever Felt	p. 369
Trigger Words	p. 381
The Insipid United Nations	p. 402
The Terrible Truth about Talk Radio	p. 419
Destroying Talk Radio: Detailing the Left's Plan for the End of Conservative Talk Radio	p. 434
President Bush, the Democrats, the Media, and the War on Islamic Fascism	p. 444
No Way in Hell	p. 454
The Dollar Bill Savings Program	p. 486
Acknowledgments	p. 495
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Somebody's Gotta Say It

Chapter One

Death Knocks—Along with Opportunity

There was a time when I would have killed to get into talk radio. As luck would have it, I didn't have to.

The name Herb Elfman probably doesn't ring a bell, and there's no reason it should. His name is but a small, sad footnote in the history of talk radio, but a very important one in the history of yours truly. In fact, it can fairly be said that I owe my entire career to this long-forgotten pioneer.

Bear with me, now, while I put you through a short course in radio history. Don't worry, it'll get interesting.

Elfman, like many of us who eventually landed our own shows, actually started out as a caller. Way, way back in the 1960s, Elfman lived out in Los Angeles. For years he worked as a salesman, apparently for a portrait photography company. And he loved listening to a local blowhard on KABC named Bob Grant.

Yes, that's right, the Bob Grant—the one who's been called "The King of Talk Radio."2 Controversial, opinionated, and wildly popular, Grant went on to become a living legend at WOR in New York, blazing a conservative yet independent trail for more than a quarter-century before retiring not too long ago.3 Grant was years ahead of nearly everyone else in the business. Even Howard Stern has credited him as a strong influence. WOR's website goes so far as to call Grant "the inventor of controversial talk radio"—which is somewhat truer than Al Gore saying he invented the Internet.

But still, I must humbly set the record straight. The fact is, Grant learned the ropes from the meanest guy in the business.

Grant had been working as a radio newsman since 1949, but it was when KABC hired him as sports director in 1962 that he met Joe Pyne, the station's headliner. By all accounts, Pyne was a miserable guy, on and off the air, and his show was a train wreck: People listened because they just couldn't help themselves. This guy was so nasty, he used to tell callers, "Go gargle with razor blades!"

From time to time, Joe Pyne allowed Bob Grant to substitute for him. Then, in 1964, when Pyne left KABC for an equally noxious television gig that lasted several years on NBC,4 Grant eagerly stepped in to fill his footprints.

Isn't it nice when things work out like that? I couldn't tell you from experience—my own big break wasn't anything like that. Which brings us back to Herb Elfman.

Elfman was one of Grant's devoted listeners in L.A., and became one of his infamous "pest" callers.

Now, you've got to understand, talk radio in the 1960s wasn't what it is today. It just wasn't a very popular format; the hosts literally had to beg for calls. So even a pest like Elfman had no trouble making it on the air.

For a while, at least.

Eventually, Elfman grew enamored of his status as a minor celebrity, and became increasingly strident in his opinions and on-air arguments with the host, until Grant finally had to ban him from the show.

Undeterred, Herb Elfman then decided to become the host of his own talk show.

As fate would have it, Atlanta was one of the last major cities in the country to come around to having an all-talk radio station, and nobody was expecting much when it finally happened in late 1967. WRNG—"Ring Radio," as it was known—was located at 680 AM, the last available spot on the dial.

"Radio does so many things bad that it is hard to know where to start," columnist Paul Hemphill wrote in the city's evening newspaper when the news was announced.5 And, fact is, he was right. Given what had come before, who was really expecting much from a new talk-radio show?

"There will be no music, just talk," explained another article in the Atlanta Journal just before the station's inaugural broadcast. "On-the-air personalities will discuss news events, feature interviews with people in the news, offer household hints, sports analysis and the like."

By then, Joe Pyne was a household name—and not a good one. "A lot of people have the idea that all-talk radio features a great deal of syndicated shows of the Joe Pyne caliber," the article continued. "But this is something that WRNG will steer clear of."6

And so it did.

For a while, at least.

WRNG tried hard to play it straight—so hard that two of its hosts, Micki Silverstein and Teddy Levison, actually won the prestigious George Foster Peabody Award for a documentary on police brutality.

Then, in February 1970, Herb Elfman came to town.

Until then, the closest WRNG had come to genuine controversy was a guest appearance by famous LSD advocate Dr. Timothy Leary—a hippie-era nutcase who would have come across as sane and reasonable next to Herb Elfman.

Yet, somehow, Elfman ended up on the morning show on Ring Radio. Not as a caller—as the host.

I was out there listening. I can't quite remember what I was doing at the time—either selling chemicals or writing speeches for the governor—but I was an Elfman fan. I was completely fascinated. So were a lot of other people.

I recently came across an old newspaper clip saying that Elfman "wooed his audience with conservative zeal," which explains, I suppose, why he appealed to me. "A churchgoer with a patriotic passion, Elfman castigated critics of the nation's institutions."7 But that hardly captures it. Elfman was a wild man on the radio—driven and unpredictable.

One day I picked up the phone, dialed the number for WRNG, and Elfman put me on the air. Before long, I was a regular caller.

There was always something in the news, something to talk about—one side or another to argue. Richard Nixon, still in his first term, was struggling with the war in Vietnam abroad and rebellious youth on the home front. William Calley was being court-martialed in connection with the My Lai massacre. NASA was trying to figure out just what had gone wrong on Apollo 13. A grand jury was looking into Senator Edward M.

Somebody's Gotta Say It. Copyright © by Neal Boortz. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Excerpted from Somebody's Gotta Say It by Neal Boortz
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