A Time To Mourn, A Time To Comfort

by Wolfson, Ron

• ISBN13: 9781580232531
• ISBN10: 1580232531
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-03-30
• Publisher: Jewish Lights Pub

Summary

Describes the Jewish approach to death and dying, funerals, and mourning customs, including specifics for funeral preparations and preparing the home and family to sit shiva, with information for mourners and comforters alike. Reissue.

Table of Contents

Foreword by Rabbi David J. Wolpe	ix
Introduction	x
Acknowledgments for the Second Edition	xvii
Acknowledgments for the First Edition	xviii
How to Read This Book	xx
Biographies of the Voices in This Book	xxi
The Art of Jewish Mourning and Comforting	xxvii
PART 1: FACING DEATH	1	(16)
The Process of Dying	5	(3)
Visiting the Dying	8	(3)
Talking with the Dying	11	(3)
Caregiving	14	(3)
PART 2: A DEATH IN THE FAMILY	17	(34)
Medical Issues and Jewish Law	22	(2)
Advance Directives for Health Care	24	(1)
The Vidui Confessional	25	(4)
What Happens When a Person Dies?	29	(2)
Special Cases	31	(2)
Neonatal Death	33	(7)
Miscarriage	40	(3)
The Death of a Child	43	(3)
AIDS-Related Deaths	46	(5)
PART 3: THE ART OF JEWISH MOURNING	51	(14)
Grief-Work and the Experience of Jewish Mourning	54	(8)
The Phases of Jewish Bereavement	62	(3)
PART 4: FROM THE DEATH TO THE FUNERAL	65	(52)
For Mourners	70	(36)
"What Do I Do Now?"	70	(2)
Making Funeral Arrangements	72	(21)
Helping Grieving Children	93	(10)
Preparing for Shiva	103	(3)
For Comforters	106	(11)
When a Friend Experiences a Death-The Art of Jewish Comforting	106	(1)
What Can You Do?	107	(2)
Close Friends	109	(5)
Friends	114	(3)
PART 5: THE FUNERAL	117	(38)
For Mourners	119	(30)
The Service	122	(6)
How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy	128	(2)
The Kaddish	130	(1)
The Mourner's Kaddish	131	(6)
Questions about the Funeral	137	(7)
Sephardic Burial Customs	144	(2)
Special Cases	146	(3)
For Comforters	149	(6)
How to Attend a Funeral	151	(4)
PART 6: SHIVA	155	(74)
For Mourners	157	(38)
Shiva	160	(1)
How Long Is Shiva?	161	(4)
The Observance of Shiva	165	(7)
The Open House-or-Who's the Host? Who's the Guest?	172	(2)
Seudat Ha-havra'ah-The Meal of Condolence	174	(5)
Prayer Services during Shiva	179	(6)
Questions about Shiva Services	185	(2)
Sephardic Customs during Shiva	187	(1)
Children during Shiva	188	(2)
Dealing with the Aftermath	190	(1)
"Getting Up" from Shiva	191	(2)
"Sitting Shiva" out of Town	193	(2)
For Comforters	195	(26)
How to Make a Shiva Call	197	(4)
"What Do I Say?"	201	(4)
"Don't Take My Grief Away"	205	(4)
Hearing with a Heart	209	(3)
What You Can Say	212	(6)
Sharing Memories	218	(3)
Additional Reflections for Mourners	221	(8)
How to Talk to Comforters	222	(2)
Family Time	224	(2)
Planning for the Future	226	(3)
PART 7: "WHAT CAN' I WRITE?"	229	(10)
For Comforters	231	(6)
How to Write a Condolence Letter	232	(5)
For Mourners	237	(2)
How to Respond to Comforters' Letters	237	(2)
PART 8: SHLOSHIM TO YIZKOR	239	(46)
For Mourners	241	(35)
Shloshim	244	(1)
Questions about Shloshim	245	(2)
Saying Kaddish	247	(4)
Gravestones and Unveilings	251	(3)
Visiting the Grave	254	(3)
Memorial Tablets	257	(1)
Yahrtzeit	258	(5)
Yizkor	263	(4)
Naming Children	267	(1)
Excessive Grief	268	(1)
Exhumation	269	(1)
Remembering the Deceased	270	(2)
Starting Over	272	(2)
Being Single Again	274	(2)
For Comforters	276	(9)
Remembering the Living	276	(4)
The Community and the Bereaved	280	(5)
PART 9: HOW TO PREPARE FOR YOUR OWN DEATH	285	(30)
Before Funeral Arrangements	287	(4)
An Ethical Will	291	(5)
A Living Will	296	(14)
Estate Instructions	310	(3)
Distribution of Personal Items	313	(2)
PART 10: AFTERLIFE	315	(9)
What Happens after We Die?	320	(4)
Epilogue	324	(3)
APPENDICES	327
Estate Instructions	329	(3)
Estate Planning Checklist	332	(1)
Glossary	333	(2)
Selected Bibliography	335