The Truth About Lying Teaching Honesty to Children at Every Age and Stage

by Talwar, Victoria

• ISBN13: 9781433836213
• ISBN10: 1433836211
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2022-07-19
• Publisher: APA LifeTools

Summary

All children lie. But when your child lies to you, it can feel like a personal betrayal. Backed by years of psychological research, this common-sense, practical guide reveals which parenting strategies promote truthfulness in children—and which ones don’t. National Parenting Product Award Winner, 2023​   

Lying is a healthy and inevitable part of child development. But when do lies become a problem? In this book, psychologist Victoria Talwar, Director of the Talwar Child Development Lab at McGill University, presents practical, science-based strategies to address lying and foster truthfulness in children, from early childhood to the teenage years. 
 
Kids need to learn what honesty looks like in different social situations, and also how to tell the truth in ways that do not hurt others’ feelings—a complicated task! Parents and caregivers will learn how to use stories and examples to have proactive conversations with children about honesty, and how to model honest behavior for children. Talwar shows readers how to respond effectively when a child lies (as they inevitably will). Backed by years of psychological research, this common-sense, practical guide reveals which parenting strategies promote truthfulness in children—and which ones don’t.   
 

Author Biography

Victoria Talwar, PhD, is Professor and Canada Research Chair (II) in Forensic Developmental Psychology at McGill University. She is a recognized leading expert on children's deception and has published numerous articles on children's honesty and lie-telling behaviors. She has given workshops to parents, teachers, social workers, and legal professionals. Among other distinctions, she has been awarded the Society for Research on Child Development Outstanding Early Career Contributions to Child Development Research award. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (Division 7), a Fellow of the Association for Psychological Science, and a member of the College of the Royal Society of Canada. 

Table of Contents

Introduction: We Can Teach Honesty to Children  
I. What You Need to Know About Children’s Lies 
1. Keeping Things in Perspective: Adult Behavior 
2 How Lying Develops as a Normal Part of Child Development 
3. Why People Lie 
II. Teaching Honesty to Children  
4. Stay Calm and Address the Motivation 
5. Use Positive Discipline 
6. Talk to Children About Honesty 
7. Acknowledge and Recognize Honesty 
8. Walk the Talk 
9. Encourage Open Communication 
10. Build a Foundation for Character Development 
III. The Gray Zone 
11. Secrets and Tattles 
12. When Lies Are a Symptom of Other Problems 
Conclusion 
References 
Appendix: Activities for Teaching About Honesty