Unbroken Homes: Single-Parent Mothers Tell Their Stories

by Garner; J Dianne

• ISBN13: 9780789011404
• ISBN10: 0789011409
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2001-04-20
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Explore the real-life triumphs and tragedies of single-parent mothers! Unbroken Homes is a "story quilt" of personal narratives constructed from in-depth, case study interviews of five single-parent mothers. The book chronicles their journeys as mothers, daughters, and women, in relationships and in solitude, displaying their stories in their own words like the squares of a multicolored quilt. Unbroken Homes breaks through the stigma associated with "broken homes" and provides a new perspective on the reorganization of American families. Unbroken Homes encourages you to rethink some damaging stereotypical assumptions about children from single-mother headed homes. Drawing information from family research, counseling, and a cross-section of social sciences, this book is pertinent to any professional who works with single parents or their children. Unbroken Homes does not deal with what is "typical" in the single-parenting experience, nor does it give advice or proselytize. Rather, its purpose is to discover the meaning that single-parent mothers bring to their own lives, helping you to understand the dynamics of single-parent families from a uniquely personal perspective. In Unbroken Homes you will witness the ways that these women: experience the ill effects of gender role socialization work to overcome stigma redefine ideals for family life and gender expectations balance responsibilities in and outside of their homes stretch finances to meet the needs of their families regain strength and self-confidence encourage their children's development affirm the strength of their families cope with depression develop networks of support This intensely personal collection of women's stories and reflections is a must read for everyone who seeks a better understanding of divorce, single-parenting, and being alone, from an insider's perspective.

Author Biography

Wendy A. Paterson is currently an Assistant Professor of Elementary Education and Reading at Buffalo State College, Buffalo, New York.

Table of Contents

Foreword	xi
Joy K. Rice
Acknowledgments	xv
Introduction	1	(1)
Why Do We Need This Book?	2	(1)
The Rest of the Story	3	(1)
Labeling and Deviance	4	(4)
Defining Family	8	(1)
The Importance of Theories and Interpretive Frameworks	9	(1)
A Different Side of the Story	10	(2)
Investigating the Lived Experiences of Single Mothers	12	(1)
Methodology	13	(2)
Presentation of the Book	15	(2)
What Can Be Learned from Only Five Women?	17	(2)
What Is Family? Mothering, Fathering, and Being Single	19	(64)
Defining Family	20	(22)
Male Instrumentalists and Female Expressives: Gender Roles Defined	42	(6)
Parenting: Sainted Mothers and Disappearing Fathers	48	(14)
Divorce: A Battleground for Gender Wars	62	(10)
Single Women: Apart and Together	72	(8)
Conclusion	80	(3)
SQUARES OF THE QUILT: SINGLE MOTHERS THROUGH THEIR OWN EYES	83	(296)
The Story Quilt	83	(1)
The Interviews	84	(1)
The Women	84	(5)
Judith: ``Getting My Life Back''	89	(34)
Parents and Parenting	89	(9)
Sensitivity to Stereotying	98	(1)
Facing Aloneness and Finding Strength	98	(4)
The Question of Quality Time	102	(1)
Beyond the Divorce: Parenting Changes	103	(7)
Divorce As Liberation	110	(8)
Emotional Codependency with Her Son	118	(4)
Completing the Journey	122	(1)
Kathleen: ``I Want to Do Everything Right''	123	(44)
The Divorce Experience	123	(9)
Providing Every Opportunity	132	(2)
Reflections on Divorce	134	(3)
Multiple Roles and Role Conflicts	137	(22)
Teaching Values	159	(1)
Learning About New Relationships: Her Significant Other	160	(5)
Conclusion	165	(2)
Shawn: ``Stand Your Ground''	167	(50)
Power and Control: A Question of Property	167	(11)
From the Other Side: The Child of a ``Bad'' Marriage	178	(10)
Having a Baby, Not a Wedding	188	(3)
Parenting Tasha	191	(18)
The Good Aunt: Parenting a Teenage Mother's Troubled Daughter	209	(6)
Breaking Out and Breaking Down	215	(2)
Lyn: ``Just Get On with It''	217	(48)
Three Generations of Single Moms	218	(3)
Lyn's Divorce: Getting On with It	221	(11)
Child Rearing: Encouraging Independence	232	(11)
Myself Alone	243	(13)
Coping with Depression	256	(1)
Old and New Myths	257	(5)
Retirement: No Place for Women	262	(1)
Conclusion	263	(2)
Sarah: ``Reparenting the Child in Me''	265	(38)
The Characters	265	(2)
The Settings	267	(1)
Living in a Dysfunctional Marriage	267	(7)
A History of Abuse	274	(5)
Sarah: Reparenting Herself	279	(7)
Sarah's Daughters: Adolescent Storms	286	(8)
Family: When It Works	294	(3)
School and the Single Parent	297	(2)
The Final Act: Picking Up the Pieces	299	(1)
Conclusion: A Disaster and an Irish Blessing	300	(3)
Viewing the Quilt: Patterns and Themes	303	(76)
Introduction	303	(1)
Families and Parenting	304	(15)
Gender Wars Revisited	319	(16)
Women's Development: Journeys Through Self and Relationship	335	(14)
The Children of Divorce: Before and After	349	(15)
Conclusions and Recommendations	364	(15)
References	379	(12)
Index	391