War Letters Extraordinary Correspondence from American Wars

by Carroll, Andrew

• ISBN13: 9780743410069
• ISBN10: 0743410068
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2002-05-01
• Publisher: Scribner

Summary

In 1998, Andrew Carroll founded the Legacy Project, with the goal of remembering Americans who have served their nation and preserving their letters for posterity. Since then, over 50,000 letters have poured in from around the country. Nearly two hundred of them comprise this amazing collection -- including never-before-published letters that appear in the new afterword.Here are letters from the Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korea, the Cold War, Vietnam, the Persian Gulf war, Somalia, and Bosnia -- dramatic eyewitness accounts from the front lines, poignant expressions of love for family and country, insightful reflections on the nature of warfare. Amid the voices of common soldiers, marines, airmen, sailors, nurses, journalists, spies, and chaplains are letters by such legendary figures as Gen. William T. Sherman, Clara Barton, Theodore Roosevelt, Ernie Pyle, Gen. Douglas MacArthur, Julia Child, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, and Gen. Benjamin O. Davis Sr. Collected inWar Letters,they are an astonishing historical record, a powerful tribute to those who fought, and a celebration of the enduring power of letters.

Author Biography

Andrew Carroll, age thirty-two, also edited the bestselling Letters of a Nation. He is the executive director of the American Poetry & Literacy Project, a nonprofit organization he co-founded with the late Nobel laureate Joseph Brodsky, which distributes free books throughout the country to promote literacy.

Table of Contents

Foreword	21	(10)
Douglas Brinkley
Introduction: Behind the Lines	31	(12)
The Civil War
Abolitionist Aaron Stevens, Writing to His Brother in 1858, Warns That Slavery Will Only Be Done Away with ``By the Sword''	43	(1)
Stevens Bids Farewell to His Brother from Jail Before Being Hanged for Participating in John Brown's Raid at Harpers Ferry	43	(3)
Marcus Morton Sends Fort Sumter's Maj. Robert Anderson a Message of Support in His ``Hour of Imminent Peril''	46	(2)
P. Burns in Tennessee, Observing the ``Spirit of War'' Overtaking the Country, Laments to a Friend the Misery to Come	48	(2)
Lt. Ai Thompson Writes to His Father After the U.S. Army's ``Disgraceful'' Loss at Manassas (Bull Run)	50	(5)
Imprisoned Confederate Spy Rose O'Neal Greenhow Excoriates U.S. Secretary of State William Seward for the ``Military Dictatorship'' He and President Lincoln Have Established	55	(3)
Lt. James Trathen of the MS Bark Describes to a Friend a Burial at Sea and Several Encounters with the Confederates	58	(3)
Patience Black Sends Her Husband, James, News from the Homefront and a Reminder of How Much He Is Missed	61	(1)
Sgt. Maj. James Black, Writing from ``Lone Some Camp,'' Vows to Patience That His Love for Her Will ``Burn Forever''	61	(1)
Union Soldier William Mayberry Scolds His Wife After Hearing Rumors That She Has Been Unfaithful	61	(3)
Twenty-Two Year-Old 2nd Lt. George A. Custer Tells His Sister Ann of a Memorable Scouting Mission Near Rebel Troops	64	(2)
Union Soldier Columbus Huddle Writes to His Father After Nearly Being Killed at the Battle of Shiloh	66	(3)
A Union Soldier Unleashes a Fury of Insults on the Officers, Doctors, and ``Rebbles'' Making His Life Unbearable	69	(1)
Francis Christiance Assures His Wife That, Despite a Newspaper Story to the Contrary, He Is Certain He Has Not Been Shot for Desertion	69	(1)
Charles E. Bingham Describes to His Wife the Execution of a Deserter	69	(6)
In the Aftermath of the Bloodshed at Antietam, an Anguished Maj. William Child Asks His Wife, ``Who Permits It?''	75	(2)
Nurse Clara Barton Portrays to Her Cousin Vira a Hushed, Moonlit Camp, ``Still as Death,'' on the Eve of the Battle of Fredericksburg	77	(2)
Dr. Calvin Fisher Reports to His Brother Alfred the ``Awful Scene'' at Chancellorsville and the Fate of Several Civilians Caught in the Crossfire	79	(3)
Samuel Cabble, an African-American Private in the Union Army, Promises His Wife That Slavery, the ``Curse of This Land,'' Will Be Crushed	82	(1)
Capt. Francisco Rice Assures His Wife That ``Although the Day May Be Dark as Ever,'' Their ``Sacrifices Have Not Been Made in Vain''	82	(4)
Capt. William T. House Writes Under the ``Whistling Bullet'' to His Fiancee, Linda Brigham, During the Siege of Vicksburg	86	(1)
Captain House Expresses to Linda How Thrilled He Is by the ``Grand Sight'' of the Defeated Rebels	86	(3)
Pvt. John H. Burrill Sends His Fiancee, Ell, a Brief but Graphic Description of the Battlefield at Gettysburg	89	(2)
Capt. David Embree, a Veteran of Numerous Battles, Reflects in a Letter to His Sister, Rose, on the Horror-and Exhilaration-of Combat	91	(3)
Martha Liggan Tells the Mother of a Confederate Soldier of Her Son's Last Moments and Denounces the ``Vile'' Yankees Who Let Him Die	94	(2)
Sgt. Thomas Bowen Provides His Mother with an Eyewitness Account of the Disastrous Battle of the Crater at Petersburg	96	(1)
Lt. Col. William Pegram, with the Confederate Army, Describes for His Wife an Account of the Same Battle, and Justifies the Massacre of Surrendering Black Troops	96	(5)
Extended Correspondence
Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman Defends Himself Against Those in the South Who Call Him a ``Barbarian,'' Denounces Unsupportive Northerners, and, After Conquering Atlanta, Asserts That the ``People of Georgia [Now] See We Are in Earnest''	101	(6)
James Paxton Relates to His Friend Val Giles the Torments He Endured While a Prisoner in a Union POW Camp	107	(5)
Union Soldier Charles George Sends His Wife, Ellen, a Letter from Appomattox, Announcing That ``General Lee Has Surrendered!!!!''	112	(1)
Mary Custis Lee, Wife of Robert E., Tells Her Cousin That the North ``Achieved by Starvation What They Could Never Win by Their Valor''	112	(1)
Maj. William Child Exclaims in a Letter to His Wife: ``I Have Seen the Murder of the President of the United States''	112	(5)
In the Bitter Aftermath of the Civil War, Union Soldier William Byron Tries to Win the Heart of Caroline Tally, an Attractive Young Confederate Woman	117	(3)
Joshua Chamberlain Returns to the Field Where He Was Shot and Recalls, in a Letter to His Sister, the ``Horrible Carnage'' That Took Place That Day	120	(5)
World War I
Social Activist Jane Addams Warns President Woodrow Wilson of the Consequences of Preparing for War Instead of Advocating for Peace	125	(1)
Mrs. M. Denkert Implores Jane Addams to Continue Her Antiwar Efforts on Behalf of ``Poor Stricken'' Mothers Everywhere	125	(3)
Pvt. Lester Hensler, Heading Overseas, Assures His Parents He Is Excited to Be Off to War-``a Man's Game''	128	(2)
Kate Gordon Sends a Letter to One of Her Three Sons on His Way to Europe, Telling Him to ``Live-or, if God's Will, Die with Courage''	130	(1)
Ship's Cook 3/C Hugh Alexander Leslie Writes Home After Surviving the Sinking of the USS President Lincoln from a Submarine Attack	131	(2)
Ambulance Corps Driver George Ruckle Describes to His Family a Failed German Offensive and the Skills American Soldiers Brought to the Fight	133	(1)
Maj. Edward B. Cole Provides His Two Young Sons with a Lighthearted Account of His Experiences in France	133	(6)
In a Cable to Gen. Peyton March, Gen. John ``Black Jack'' Pershing Praises the ``Colored Soldiers'' Serving with the AEF	139	(1)
Writing to His Nine-Year-Old Son, Warren, Gen. John Pershing Explains Why He and His Troops Are Fighting in France	140	(2)
John E. Bott Tells His Son Harry, in France with the AEF, Joyful News of a Recent ``Arrival'' to the Family-Followed by a Devastating Loss	142	(1)
Pvt. Walter Bromwich, Writing to His Pastor, Begins to Question the Role of God in War	143	(2)
Theodore Roosevelt Sends a Letter of Deep Gratitude to Mrs. H. L. Freeland, Who Consoled Him After a Heartbreaking Loss	145	(2)
On the Eve of the First Major U.S. Offensive at Saint-Mihiel, Lt. David Ker Tells His Mother What He Wants Her to Remember in the Event of His Death	147	(1)
Col. George S. Patton Writes to His Father After Saint-Mihiel, Which Was ``Not Half So Exciting'' as He Had Hoped	147	(4)
In an Impassioned Letter to His Wife, Gertrude, 2nd Lt. Francis M. Tracy Declares That Their Separation Has Only Intensified His Love for Her	151	(3)
Goldie Marcellus Mails Her Husband, Edward; a Love Letter-Which He Promptly Returns with Commentary	154	(2)
Extended Correspondence
1st Lt. Edward Lukert Promises His Wife, Mabel, He Has No Interest in Dying for His Country, Shares His Thoughts After Watching Men Get Killed, and, After Being Wounded Himself at Saint-Mihiel, Assures His Wife There Are Young Soldiers in More ``Terrible Shape'' Than He	156	(6)
A Soldier Sends a Dramatic ``Yarn'' to His Friend Elmer J. Sutters About the Meuse-Argonne Battle-the Final, Major Clash of the First World War	162	(5)
After Peace Is Declared, Lt. Lewis Plush Reflects in a Letter to His Parents on the Haunting Images of War He Will Never Forget	167	(3)
American Red Cross Nurse Maude B. Fisher Writes to the Mother of a Young Soldier About Her Son's Tragic Fate After the War	170	(2)
Col. Robert T. Oliver Shares a Poignant Story with Veteran Frank Cashin About a Memorable Encounter with an Elderly Frenchman in Chateau-Thierry	172	(7)
World War II
Alexander Goode, an American Jew, Writes a Prophetic Letter in 1933 to His Beloved, Theresa Flax, About Adolf Hitler	179	(1)
Rabbi Goode, a Month Before His Legendary Act of Heroism, Reminds His Wife, Theresa, How Much He Loves Her	179	(3)
Ned Black, Visiting England in 1939, Relates to His Family in the United States How Anxious Londoners Are Bracing for War	182	(2)
Lt. Cdr. Paul E. Spangler Gives His Old Friends Back Home an Eyewitness Account of the Bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941	184	(3)
World War I Veteran Dwight Fee Offers Some Fatherly Advice to His Son, William, ``Off on the Great Adventure''	187	(1)
President Roosevelt Receives an Extraordinary Appeal from a Half German Immigrant Who Wants to Join the War Effort	188	(4)
Sgt. J. M. Smith, Before Being Forced on the ``Bataan Death March,'' Tells His Wife to Have Faith He Will Return Home Alive	192	(1)
Capt. James Sadler, Smith's Brother-in-Law, Adds a Brief Note at the Bottom of the Letter, Sending His Love as Well	192	(1)
Lt. Tommie Kennedy, Captured at Corregidor and Imprisoned on a Japanese ``Hell Ship,'' Scribbles Two Short, Last Letters to His Parents	192	(3)
Pvt. Morton D. Elevitch, in Basic Training, Informs His Mother He Is Learning How to Shoot, Beat, Stomp, and Bayonet Another Human Being	195	(2)
Pfc. Edgar Shepard Promises the Parents of Pfc. Russell Whittlesey Who Saved His Life at Guadalcanal, That He Will ``Avenge'' Russell's Death	197	(2)
Capt. Ed Land, an American Pilot Flying with the Royal Air Force, Expresses to His Brother Frank the Exhilaration-and Risks-of His Job	199	(1)
1st Lt. Charles S. ``Bubba'' Young Chronicles for His Family a Dramatic Bombing Raid on Ploesti, Romania	199	(4)
Maxine Meyers, Working as a Welder, Describes to Her Husband, Nove, a Historic Explosion Near Their Home in California	203	(3)
Journalist Ernie Pyle Sends an Explicit, Profanity-Laced Letter from North Africa to His Lifelong Friend Paige Cavanaugh	206	(4)
1st Lt. Paul Skogsberg Flirts with a Beautiful War Nurse Named Vera ``Sheaf'' Sheaffer Through a Series of Letters	210	(1)
Seaman Sylvan ``Sol'' Summers Receives an Unexpected, Crushing Letter from His Fiancee	210	(1)
1st Lt. John David Hench Expresses His Disappointment to His Wife, Barbara, Over Her ``Nocturnal Adventures''	210	(1)
Hench, Writing Three Days Later, Assures His Wife She Is Forgiven	210	(7)
Extended Correspondence
Fifteen Year-Old Pvt. Bill Lynn Implores His Mother to Send His Birth Certificate and ``Get [Him] Out'' of Boot Camp, But Then Later Tells Her Not to Worry About Him	217	(1)
Mrs. Lynn Mails a Series of Short Letters to Bill Asking Where He Is and Updating Him on His Brother Bob, Also in Combat	217	(6)
Shizuko Horiuchi, an American Citizen Detained for Being Japanese, Depicts for Her Friend Henriette Von Blon Life in an Internment Camp	223	(1)
Pfc. Ernest Uno, with the Famed 442nd Regimental Combat Team, Explains to His Sister Mae in an Internment Camp About Why He is Fighting	223	(3)
Lt. Walter Schuette Sends His Newborn Daughter, Anna Mary, a Letter to Be Read to Her in the Event He Does Not Come Home Alive	226	(1)
After Learning That His First Child Has Just Been Born, Capt. George Rarey Exclaims to His Wife, June: ``I'm a Father-I Have a Son! Thank You, Junie!''	226	(4)
Army Nurse Vera Lee Writes to Her Family About a Deadly German Attack on Her Ship in the Gulf of Salerno	230	(1)
Pvt. Paul Curtis, Fighting at Anzio, Responds to a Letter from His Younger Brother, Mitchell, Asking What Combat Is Like	230	(4)
Pfc. Dom Bart Provides His Wife, Mildred, with a Moment-by-Moment Account of Going Ashore at Normandy on the Morning of June 6, 1944	234	(1)
S. Sgt. Eugene Lawton Shares with His Parents What Was Going Through His Mind Before, During, and After the D-Day Invasion	234	(4)
Gen. George S. Patton Jr., Removed from the Main Action on D-Day Offers Some Fatherly Advice to His Son George	238	(3)
Pfc. Charles McCallister, with the 101st Airborne, Describes to His Aunt Mimi Her Son Jim's Heroic Last Moments Before Being Killed	241	(1)
Shaken by the ``Terror'' of Battle, Capt. George Montgomery with the Eighty-second Airborne Tells His Fiancee, Arline, He Loves Her More Than Ever	241	(1)
2nd Lt. Jack Lundberg Assures His Parents That, If He Should Die in Combat, Sacrificing His Life for the United States Is More Than Worth It	241	(5)
Extended Correspondence
Combat Nurse June Wandrey Describes to Her Family the Challenges of Working in a Field Hospital, Receives a ``Dear June'' Letter from Her Beau in the U.S., Writes to Her Sister About a Memorable Visit to the Vatican, and Grieves Over the Fate of a Young Patient	246	(5)
Lt.jg. George Bush Updates His Parents on His Recovery After Being Shot Down and Nearly Killed During a Bombing Mission in the South Pacific	251	(3)
1st Lt. George S. McGovern Shares with His Friend Bob Pennington a Few (Surprising) Comments on the 1944 Presidential Race	254	(2)
CPhM Fritz Houser Describes to His Parents the Critically Wounded Patients He Treated During the Invasion of the Philippines	256	(1)
Lt. Cdr. Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and John Steinbeck Offer Words of Condolence to the Widow of Their Friend, John Kremer, Killed in a Kamikaze Attack	256	(7)
Pfc. Richard Cowan, Just Before the Battle of the Bulge, Writes a Profound Letter to His Mother About Ethics and Morality	263	(1)
Pfc. DeWitt ``Chick'' Gephart Informs His Parents He Has Been Seriously Wounded in the Battle But, Nevertheless, Is in Very Good Spirits	263	(1)
Warrant Officer Frank J. Conwell, Having Survived the Battle of the Bulge, Sends His Family a Poetic Reflection on War and What He Has Seen	263	(7)
1st Lt. James Carroll Jordan, in a Letter to His Wife, Details the Atrocities Committed in the Buchenwald Concentration Camp	270	(1)
1st Lt. Fritz Schnaittacher, a German-Born Jew Serving in the U.S. Army, Writes to His Wife After the Liberation of the Dachau Concentration Camp	270	(1)
S. Sgt. Horace Evers, in Adolf Hitler's Munich Apartment, Uses Hitler's Personal Stationery to Describe to His Family the Horrors of Dachau	270	(7)
2nd Lt. Richard Wellbrock Chronicles His Remaining Days as a Prisoner of War in a Letter/Diary to His Wife, Mary	277	(2)
1st Lt. William Lee Preston Characterizes for His Brother, John, a Parade of German Soldiers-Once the ``Terror of Europe''-Now Defeated and Powerless	279	(2)
Seaman Robert Black, Aboard the USS Swenson, Berates His Father for Embarrassing Him in Front of His Crewmates	281	(3)
Extended Correspondence
2nd Lt. Sidney Diamond Writes to His Fiancee, Estelle Spero, to Remind Her How Much He Loves Her, Shares His Fears About How Veterans Will Be Treated After the War, Reflects on His Fellow Soldiers Who Have ``Departed,'' and Describes the Melancholy Among the Soldiers on Christmas Day 1944	284	(1)
Estelle, During the Final Months of the War, Tells Her Fiance She Is Thinking of Him Always and Loves Him Dearly	284	(13)
Pfc. Bill Madden, Wounded Twice in Combat, Describes to His Father Coming in with the First Wave at Iwo Jima	297	(3)
Pfc. Richard King Recalls the Fighting on Saipan and Okinawa in a Graphic Letter to His Parents	300	(5)
A Survivor of the USS Indianapolis Disaster, RT 2/C Herbert J. Miner II Assures His Parents He Is Alive and Recuperating After Being Lost at Sea for Four Days	305	(5)
Fireman Keith Lynch Describes to His Parents the ``Dead City'' of Nagasaki, Japan	310	(3)
Cpl. Robert S. Easterbrook Writes to His Parents from the Hospital Bedside of Ex-Premier of Japan, Hideki Tojo, After Tojo's Failed Suicide Attempt!	313	(2)
Gen. Benjamin O. Davis Sr. Reports to His Wife, Sadie, His Efforts to Promote Racial Equality and Understanding in a Postwar Era	315	(2)
Stationed in Japan, Sgt. Richard Leonard Explains to His Friend Arlene Bahr Why, Despite All That Has Happened to Him, He Does Not Hate the Japanese	317	(6)
The Korean War & The Cold War
Shot During One of the U.S. Army's First Major Defeats in Korea, Pfc. Donald Luedtke Tells His Mother His Fate Could Have Been Much Worse	323	(4)
In a Letter Home, Sgt. John Wheeler Harshly Condemns the Communists Fighting in Korea and Their Sympathizers in the States	327	(1)
Wounded Twice in Action, Sergeant Wheeler Assures His Father He Will Not Be Sent Back into Combat	327	(1)
Sgt. Gordon Madson Provides Sergeant Wheeler's Father with a Firsthand Account of His Son's Fate	327	(7)
Writing from the Osaka Army Hospital, Pvt. Bob Hammond Describes to His Father the Brutal Fighting at the Chosin Reservoir	334	(3)
In a Letter to Carlos P. Romulo, Gen. Douglas MacArthur Defends Himself Against the ``Radical Fringe'' Maligning His Leadership	337	(2)
A Young Officer, Feeling Ignored, Implores His Wife to Send More Letters-and to Stay True to Him Back Home	339	(1)
A Nineteen Year-Old Soldier Replies to His Sweetheart After She Rejects Him for Another Man	339	(3)
Extended Correspondence
World War II Veteran S. Sgt. Joe Sammarco Bids His Wife, Bobbie, Farewell as He Embarks for Korea, Tells Her He Has Survived the Battle of Chipyong-ni and Other Close Calls, and, After Witnessing the Accidental Killing of Two Korean Children, Pleads with Bobbie to Take Extra Care of Their Little Girls	342	(9)
Sgt. Don Gore Informs His Girlfriend That, If Ordered to Korea, ``(He) Ain't Goin'''	351	(2)
Capt. H. Richard Hornberger, M.D., Shares with His Parents the Antics of His Fellow MASH (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital) Doctors	353	(3)
Capt. Molton A. Shuler Jr. Describes to His Wife, Helen, the Makeshift Church He and His Friends Have Created in the Midst of Battle	356	(2)
Ardith Morrisseau Gently Chastises Her Former Boyfriend, Lt.jg. Carroll Briggs, for ``Getting Himself in Such Messes'' with Other Women	358	(1)
Briggs Confesses to Morrisseau That He Has Fallen in Love with Her!	358	(1)
Hardly Able to Contain Himself, Briggs Declares He Has Come to a Decision He Is ``Just Dying to Tell [Her]''	358	(5)
Demoralized by His Experiences in Korea, Pfc. Jack Train Jr. Instructs His Friend, Kathie, to Tell Her Younger Brother the Realities of War Before He Enlists!	363	(3)
Julia Child Admonishes Aloise B. Heath for Questioning the Patriotism of Smith College Professors with Alleged Communist Connections	366	(3)
In a Letter to Reverend G. A. Zema, Helen Keller Denies That She Is a Communist Sympathizer	369	(2)
Lt. Jack Sweeney Sends a Letter to His Future Wife, Beebe Matthewson, After a Disastrous, ``Trans-Oceanic'' Phone Call	371	(1)
Cdr. Sweeney Assures Beebe That Even if He Should Die on One of His Missions, He Considers Himself ``One of the Luckiest People'' to Have Lived	371	(3)
Convicted Spy Alger Hiss, Writing from Prison, Advises His Young Son Tony on What Is Required for an Individual to Be Truly Happy	374	(1)
In a Letter to the Writer James Rorty, Whittaker Chambers Reflects on the Explosive ``Hiss-Chambers Case'' Twelve Years After It Was First Reported	375	(6)
Writing from Moscow, Francis Gary Powers Sends His First Letter to His Parents After Being Shot Down Over the Soviet Union	381	(2)
Former President Dwight Eisenhower Tells His Friend Jock Whitney That All Americans Must Be ``Unified'' Behind President Kennedy After the Bay of Pigs Disaster	383	(8)
The Vietnam War, The Persian Gulf War, Somalia, & Bosnia
The Sister of an Army Specialist Killed in Vietnam Asks President John F. Kennedy ``If a War Is Worth Fighting-Isn't It Worth Fighting to Win?''	391	(1)
President Kennedy Responds	391	(3)
Lt. Roy Boehm, ``Father'' of the U.S. Navy SEALs, Wishes His Mom a Happy Valentine's Day from Vietnam-the ``Damndest Crazyiest War'' Ever	394	(2)
Cpl. Mike Jeffords Offers His Parents His First Impressions of Vietnam and Describes the Experience as ``Something of a Vacation''	396	(2)
In a Private Letter to Lt. Col. Lewis L. Millet, Gen. William C. Westmoreland Articulates the Difficulties American Forces Are Up Against	398	(2)
Airman 3/C Robert Zwerlein Sends a High-Spirited Letter to a Friend Back in the States Only Days Before the Fatal USS Forrestal Fire	400	(2)
Pvt. Brice E. Gross Offers His Younger Brother, Jerry Words of Advice and Encouragement After the Death of Their Father	402	(1)
In a Letter to His Wife, Joyce, 1st Lt. Dean Allen Reflects on the Physical and Emotional Challenges of Leading a Platoon	402	(4)
Chaplain Ray W. Stubbe Writes to His Parents from the Marine Base at Khe Sanh on the First Day of What Was to Become a Lengthy and Terrifying Siege	406	(1)
Lt. Col. Gerald W. Massy III Offers His Daughter Lynn a Firsthand Report of the Tet Offensive as It Unfolds Around Him	406	(6)
In a Letter to His Parents, L. Cpl. Stephen Daniel Laments the Death of a Close Friend ``in a Damn Country Not Worth Fighting for''	412	(1)
SP4 Richard Baltzegar Shares with His Friend Mike Engel His Disgust for the U.S. Army ``and the Country It Represents''	412	(4)
Extended Correspondence
Pfc. Timothy Robinson Chronicles His Combat Experiences in Vietnam in a Series of Short, Descriptive Letters to Anxious Family Members Back in the States	416	(5)
SP4 Bob Leahy Explains to His Family Why One of the Worst U.S. Atrocities of the War Was No Surprise	421	(1)
Another Army Specialist Four Describes to His Parents the Extent to Which Accidents, Friendly Fire, and Fragging Are Killing U.S. Troops	421	(5)
The Parents of Sandy Scheuer Receive a Series of Letters, Including One from President Richard Nixon, After Their Daughter Is Shot Dead at Kent State	426	(3)
2nd Lt. Scott Alwin Shares, in a Letter to His Father, a Secret He Has Been Keeping from Him for Some Time	429	(2)
Tom McCabe, Writing to His Parents from the Hospital, Reflects on Being Back in the States After Fighting in Vietnam	431	(1)
Shaken After an Attack at Fire Base Mary Ann, an Anguished Young Sergeant Tells His Mom He Wants to ``Get the Hell Out of Here''	431	(4)
Ambassador Graham A. Martin Dispatches Three Urgent Telegrams from the American Embassy in Saigon Pleading for More Helicopters	435	(3)
Maj. Michael O'Donnell Sends His Friend Marcus Sullivan a Poem That, Decades Later, Would Be Read and Cherished by Thousands of Vietnam Veterans and Their Families	438	(1)
Gold Star Mother Theresa O. Davis Writes to Her Son Richard, Killed in Vietnam, Thirty Years After His Death	438	(1)
Richard Luttrell Leaves a Heartfelt Letter of Reconciliation at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C.	438	(5)
Bill Hunt Shares with Fellow Vietnam Veteran David H. Hackworth His Concerns About an Impending U.S. War with Iraq	443	(4)
Sgt. Tom Shaffer Jokes with His Friend Kathleen Williams About the Precautions They Have Been Given in the Event of a Chemical Weapons Attack	447	(1)
S. Sgt. Frank Evans Describes to His Mother and Stepfather the Anxious First Hours of the Air Campaign Against Iraq	448	(2)
Writing to His Wife and Sons, Maj. Bob Munson Downplays a Scud Attack and Relates Some Lighter Moments on the Base	450	(3)
Capt. Samuel G. Putnam III Chronicles for His Wife and Family His Participation in the Ground War	453	(1)
Sgt. Dan Welch Reflects in a Letter Home How Strange the War Seemed and Expresses His Regrets the Allies ``Didn't Go Far Enough''	453	(10)
Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf and Gen. Colin Powell Console the Families of Two Men Killed in the Persian Gulf	463	(1)
General Powell Responds to a Withering Onslaught of Questions-from a Class of First Graders	463	(3)
Photojournalist Dan Eldon Sends a Short Note to His Girlfriend from Mogadishu About the Plight of Somalia	466	(1)
Black Hawk Pilot Michael Durant Writes from Captivity in Somalia to Assure His Wife and One Year-Old Son That, Although Injured, He Is Still Alive	467	(2)
1st Lt. Erin Shuler Writes an E-mail from Bosnia to Her Family Back in the States Detailing Serbian Atrocities	469	(1)
Maj. Thomas O'Sullivan Sends His Son, Conor, a Special Gift from Bosnia for His Seventh Birthday	469	(4)
Afterword	473	(16)
Note and Acknowledgments	489	(10)
Permissions	499	(6)
Index	505

Excerpts

Excerpt from The Civil War

Griping about insufferable conditions was not uncommon, but a number of soldiers took a more drastic step: they deserted. During the Civil War an estimated 280,000 Union and 104,000 Confederate soldiers were classified as deserters -- to date, the highest rates recorded in American wartime history. (At the height of the Vietnam War the numbers peaked at 7.4 percent, compared with an average of about 11 percent in the Civil War.) Punishments for desertion varied from receiving a mere reprimand to being flogged, imprisoned, branded on the face with a "D," or, in the most serious cases, shot. The latter was rare; executions could have a counterproductive effect on troops, and the vastly outnumbered Confederacy could hardly spare the men. Newspapers were quick to report when executions were carried out, serving as cautionary reminders to those tempted to flee. But these reports were not always accurate, as a mortified young Union private named Francis Christiance discovered one day while reading the paper.

Alexandra Heights, Oct. 7, 1861.

Dear Wife,

I this day received an issue of the Star and Times containing the following paragraphs which no doubt overwhelmed me as much as it certainly must have done you. "To be shot: Francis Christaince deserter from the ranks of Capt. Truax'es Company, one which we have known for a long time was sentenced to be shot and perhaps met his faith at noon to-day. We have not given this fact publicity before, we did hope for and do not yet despair of a reprieve for the misguided soldier though the fact that this terrible punishment is meted for a second offense seems to abide it: -- "

I simply deny in to each and every specification contained in the above.

1st. I am not shot.

2nd. I am not sentenced to be shot.

3rd. There has not been here the slightest supposition among the men or myself that I was to be shot.

4th. I never deserted from Capt. Truax'es Company nor have I ever been tried for any charge for desertion. From whence these false assertions could have originated I cannot surmise. But if he has feeling for a kind and loving wife, a household of children, not to say of the grief that fills your heart at this report, he certainly would not be humanity to contradict it.

This afternoon Col. Jackson has received a letter requesting the transmission of my dead body to my wife, my feeling may better be imagined than described. The editor of the Star certainly should bare a great deal of the blame for publishing a rumor leaving a whole family on the foundation of what must have been a mere rumor, but this is not the first nor I suppose the last kindness we will receive from those we left behind.

Truly your loving and yet living husband,Francis Christiance.

Another Union soldier, Charles Bingham, wrote to his wife, Sarah, to describe in chilling detail the execution of a deserter, whose death he witnessed firsthand.

August 9 1863

Same old camp 6 miles from Rebbys

My dear wife

i seat myself again to pen a few lines to you again as it is Sunday and did not think that i could let the day pas without a little conversation with you and it may be that you are engaged at the same business at this moment i would like to know if you are out but i supose that the day will be spent in visiting with happy friends and neighbors and i would not wonder if you had a quite a good time at it i hope that you will

i tell you what it is it is so hot here that it aint comfortable a setting in the shade and do nothing i had a letter from mother two or three days ago she was well at the time she is to work out there for ten shillings per week and she says that this fall she is a coming out to see you if she lives

the day before yesterday the execution of a man took place out in front of our camp it seems as though he had enlisted some three times getting a big bounty each time and then desert again i stood and watched the execution of him the division that he belonged to was marched out the band playing a lively tune all the while untill they formed a hollow square then came the officer on horse back then came the pallbearers four in number carrying his coffin the one that i spoke of in one of my other letters close to them was the chaplain and the criminal keeping the step as firm as if he was going out on parade

next came the band playing his death march in fine stile but it did not seem to affect him in the least and following them was 12 with loaded guns and i think there was four others with loaded guns in reserve so if the first did not make the work of death complete the others could finish it at once

they marched in and sat the coffin down and took their position behind the man the chaplain then stood by him and made a prayer and shook hands with him bade him good bye and steped back

the officer approached him and he steped forward took off his cap and blouse laid them down alowd himself to be blindfolded and then took a seat on his coffin the officer shook hands with him and bade him good by and steped back to the twelve exicutioners the criminal then raised his hand three times holding it out straight the last time but he did not hold it long before the death messengers hit him he fell from of his coffin and lay there kicking

the officer steped up and called the others they stood there they came puting their guns quite close to him and let drive and that was what all called butchering and then my company right ahead guide right march pass in review pass and the whole division passing by where he lay and so back to their quarters and so ended the life of a Deserter

So i have give you as good an idea of the matter as I can but believe me that i dont want to see any more such proceedings The first shots i did not mind so much but when the others came up and almost put their guns against his breast and head it all most made me sick and as many as was seen at gettysburg laying dead it did not cast as mutch solemnyty over the troops as that one mans death did and what will his wife think when the news reaches her for i have heard that he left a wife and two children

well i must drop this and wind up i am well and doing well and god grant that this bad mess of scribling may find you in good health the weather has been exceedingly hot for all i thought that it was getting colder please write as often as i remain your kind and affectionate husband and shall till death give all the love that you can spare to them that kneeds it only keepe what you want.

Charles E. Bingham, Sarah J. Bingham

so good by for this time

Copyright © 2001 by Andrew Carroll

Excerpt from World War I

Goldie Marcellus Mails Her Husband, Edward, a Love Letter -- Which He Promptly Returns with Commentary

It cannot be determined precisely why, when, or how Goldie Marcellus and her husband, Edward, settled on their unique epistolary system. Possibly it was to save paper. Or Edward may simply have been a man of few words. But whatever the reason, after receiving her handwritten expressions of affection from the homefront, Edward, a clerk stationed in German camps overtaken by the Allies, would type succinct, sometimes teasing remarks directly on her letters and then return them to her. The following is just one example. (His words are in bold.)

Dear Husband,

This is a Sat. afternoon andIhave the work all done and washing on the line.Smart girlI do not know what they would do without me I must say. I am sure very tired. You see Mamma is sick at Proctor Hospital & Dad away and Gladys is not real strong & Hila will not worktoo hardNofor fear she might spoil herbutybeauty.Yes, Booty is right.

Mother is getting along just fine now.That's good.

Excuse this writing for my arm is so tired. When I was home I did not know what work was.I didn't think so.I received a letter from Pearl.Why don't she write to me?She is not well at all poor girl. I think she will never get strong now. She says that her husband comes home at night and does up all of her housework.Very nice of him.It is hard on him, but it sure is nice that he is so willing to do it. Your mother goes over and does the washing & ironing and the baking. and talking So you see that she must be a very weak woman.Yes, you are rightOne should be so happy if they have good health.

I took your picture to church with me. (You see I just must have you with me that is all.)That is a catastrophe

Everyone thought you sure was a finefatlooking young man. Our preacher's wife, a most lovely lady, said "your husband sure is nice looking" and the preacher said "not only he, but he is the posseser of a nice looking young wife." I will look more pretty when you get home,dots gutfor I will be more happy. I want to keep myself looking well for you and you alone. We both must keep our health at any cost, for health and looks go well together. I hope and pray you can come home soon.

Your picture stands right in front of me this very moment.Why don't you send me some of yours? I have worn yours out already.I can hardly believe it is you. The only part that looks natural is your eyes.And what about them?I just have to kiss that sweet fat face every time I look at your picture. Well I must stop a bragging on you for you might run away with some pretty girl over there. Ha. Ha.There isn't any.

It is a setting in for a rainy evening.

Mother is getting along just fine and I think we will bring her from the hospital by next Sunday. I think she is strong now. It seems so lonesome with just women about the home. Just think we have three of the best men on thisearthand every one of them is miles from home.

Ed I get all of your letters now, but they all come in bunches about every two weeks.Glad you get them anyway.

There is an article in the High School paper aboutMe.It is on my efficiency in Type.Can you afford to buy another?They have sent it to Hazel & Stella or I would clip it out for you.

So some of the men in your Co. go with girls.No, not girls, fraulines.Well dear Ed, I expect there is much more of "not being loyal" by the girls over here.Yes, I know all about them.I just read in the paper where a returned soldier came back only to find the one he had been true to in love with another man, so he killed her.Yes, you'll find the members of the A. E. F. are not afraid to kill.I do not believe in killing but she really got what she deserved I must say. I guess one side is as bad as the other.

Do not even let Herb know this, but I prayed for Gladys C. not to give him up & marry some other man too sickly to fight for his own country. Several weeks ago she came to me on her way home from work, her eyes filled with tears and said "Goldie, oh help me out, you are a married girl and one of my dearest friends."I really am not surprised at this but do not tell her I said so.I won her on the point that she did not know men at all, if she would turn untrue to Herb he being such a strong man, would just go all to piecesYes, I believe he wouldand just throw his life away. Well she went home and thought it over and now "all is well" and Herb is alone shining in Gladys' sky.Good, you're a missionary too.Oh, I have read some of Herb's letters and Ed his future entirely rests with that girl. I sure am happy over the outcome.

Oh See it is mail time and I do want to get this in the box by 4:30. So I will have to close. (I could write to you by the hrs.)

Take good care of yourself and I will do the same. So By By my dear hubby, I enclose all love for you

From your loving wife,

Goldie

Ed

Ed Marcellus survived the war and returned home alive and well.

Copyright © 2001 by Andrew Carroll

Excerpt from World War II

Army Nurse Vera Rieck Writes to Her Family About a Deadly German Attack on Her Ship in the Gulf of Salerno

"It wasn't just my brother's country, or my husband's country," said Beatrice Hood Stroup of the Women's Army Corps, "it was my country as well. And so this war wasn't just their war, it was my war, and I needed to serve in it." During World War II literally hundreds of thousands of American women volunteered for military service in the Women's Army Corps (WACs), the Marines, the Women's Air Force Service Pilots (WASPs), the Navy's Women Accepted for Voluntary Service (WAVES), and the Coast Guard's SPARS, derived from its motto Semper Paratus -- "Always Ready." Employed as radio operators, mechanics, cryptographers, truck drivers, gunnery instructors, electricians, intelligence analysts, air-raid wardens, control-tower personnel, and pilots, their responsibilties extended far beyond the clerical work that some, uncomfortable with the idea of women in uniform, had argued they were best suited for in wartime. Over 72,000 women also served as war nurses, many of them working in or very near to combat zones. Hundreds of American women died as a result of their service in the war, and in the middle of September 1943 army nurse Vera Rieck came close to being one of them. Beginning on September 9, Allied forces began a ferocious six-day invasion of Salerno, Italy, that nearly failed. Rieck, with the Ninety-fifth Evacuation Hospital, was aboard the HMS Newfoundland in the Gulf of Salerno. Despite its colored lights identifying it as a hospital ship, the Germans targeted the Newfoundland on September 13, killing several nurses. Two and a half months later, Rieck wrote to her family in Lewellen, Nebraska, to describe the bombing.

Wed - Nov 24 - '43

Dearest all:

Just yesterday I wrote you a letter but your air mail of Oct 30th & V-mail of Nov 7th came this morning so will answer them today. Jan and I got up for breakfast this morning and made a dashing trip with our mail man to another town to have my picture taken for my Identification or a.g.o. card. I've been without a bit of Identification since the bombing -- no dog tags, no pay datta card -- I'm almost not in this army. It has sort of worried me to -- because something could have happened & no one know who I belong to. I still have my chain around my neck but the dog tags were torn off -- Guess that something fell on my chest that morning & took them off.

I still don't know if this will pass this the censor but will try & tell you what happened the 13th of Sept. We tried to land in Italy all day Sunday the 12th but they were too busy fighting to worry about a hundred nurses on a hospital ship. Several bombs just missed us several times but we didn't really realize what it was all about. Evening came & we had to go out of the harbor because our ship was all lit up. We taxied around in the sea off shore about 30 miles all nite -- our ship & 4 other Hospital ships -- at 5 a.m. we were awakened by a bomb falling very close to us -- Some of the girls dressed then but most of us went back to sleep. (We all slept in the nood because all our clothes were packed & ready to get off the ship the next morning.)

At 5:10 we heard a plane & then that bad awful whistle a bomb makes & bang! -- You'll never know of the thousand things that flashed thro my mind those few seconds. I thought sure I was dying -- could feel hot water falling on my face & body -- Had heavy boards on my chest that had fallen from the ceiling -- I shut my eyes & thought it was the end -- Then the next second I thought "What the hell, I'm not dead -- get out of this place" -- then I could see poor Wheeler & Waldin without a stitch of clothes on trying to find anything to put on. I couldn't see for the terrific smoke in our room -- but was a mass of motion trying to find my coveralls which I had hung on the post hole the nite before. I found them on the floor -- all soaked with water & black with dirt -- put them on & found my shoes -- grabbed my helmet & water canteen & grabbed on to someone's arm & followed the light that Claudine was holding. She coudn't hardly find where the door was because the wall had all been blown out.

When we got on the deck we all had to get on one side because the bomb had torn away the other side of the ship. I'll never forget seeing this one British nurse trying to get thro the porthole but was too large to make it. She was screaming terribly because her room was all in flames. One British fellow saw that she could never get out so he knocked her in the head with his fist and shoved her back in his room -- She died but it was much easier than if she had burned to death.

We loaded in a life boat -- 70 of us in one boat that had a capacity of 30. Were taken on another hospital ship & given tea & hot coffee. I felt a darn good cry coming on so some British fellow took the 4 of we girls to his room & we drank a bottle of Scotch. I got "stinko" drunk -- cried & when I snapped out of it, I felt fine. All the bruises I got out of it was a scratch on my knee, a cut on my left foot and marks & scratches on my chest where debree fell from the roof.

-- Someday I'll tell you more about it....

Love,

Vera

Copyright © 2001 by Andrew Carroll

Excerpt from The Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War, Somalia, & Bosnia

From the chaos of Vietnam emerged another horror: An astonishing number of American soldiers were being killed by their own men. Unintentional deaths from "friendly fire" were deemed a regrettable but inevitable consequence of combat in any war. What concerned the military about Vietnam, however, was that hundreds of deaths were believed to have been from "fragging," the intentional killing of sadistic or dangerously incompetent officers by their subordinates. (Although fragmentation grenades were the weapon most associated with the practice, the term fragging assumed a more general definition as officers were murdered by other means.) During the later years of the war, as unit cohesion and discipline unraveled, combined with increasing drug abuse and racial tensions, reports of fragging rose to their highest levels. In April 1970, an infantryman in Cu Chi and Tay Ninh alluded to both friendly fire and fragging in a letter to his parents back in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin. (The soldier's full name has been withheld for reasons of privacy.)

Dear Mom & Dad:

Got your letter today containing the stamps. Was really glad to get them. Sent three more rolls off to be developed and am sending a packet of slides with this letter.

Sounds like Theresa can really sing. Wouldn't it be great if she really made it big like T.V., records and live performances. Hollywood here I come! No, really it sounds like she's got talent though.

Seems Scott has the same problem with clothes I had. I'll give him a hint next time look on the floor. He'll find enough to dress himself 3 or 4 times I'll bet.

Well, I'm playing chicken for a few days now.

I volunteered for K.P., trash run and other nasty details, like burning _______ in a barrel while my Co. went out on this four day mission.

It sounded as though they'd see some certain action. Our company linked up with two other battalions to sweep a 4 mile area, trying to flush a regiment of expected V.C. Then last night the artillery had an hour fire mission giving them rear support so they must have made contact last night. At 10:00 we had 6 incoming rounds expected from a V.C. 82 mortar. We manned bunkers and were expecting a follow up ground attack but nothing happened.

Then this morning while we were dumping trash in the dump, someone had set fire in the dump and off went what we thought a grenade. Threw shrapnel all over. I only caught a couple small pieces in the right pectoral muscle and luckily the trailer and truck were between me and the explosion which was only 10 feet away. One other guy got his face messed up pretty bad and had to dust him off to a hospital.

It's so stupid and ridiculous of how so many of our boys are killed by accidents due to some careless mistakes.

Like the guy I saw die, the helicopter crash killing 13 people, and for another example, 2 nights ago, B co. blew an ambush on their own people due to a simple communication mistake and these two squads started blasting away at each other. Two men were killed instantly by Claymore mines, another lost his legs and 5 more injured. All due to GI mistakes. They say as high as 50 % of deaths and casualties are caused by our own men and so many parents never know how their son was killed because all the Army tells them is that they are combat casualties.

That's why I was afraid of this mission. Because our commanding officer is insane. Gungho lifer looking for nothing but a body count of enemy so he can make a stupid promotion.

Like on this last 9 day mission, one night he made us fire mortars from our night position ambush saying we needed practice. All the V.C. had to do was zero in on the noise with their mortars and we'd be hurting. The Lieutenants tried to explain the hazards of doing this but he pulled rank on them and that's all that could be said.

I know for one fact with the hatred his men have for him, that if we ever got in a fire fight someone will knock him off. It happens quite a bit and I'm for certain It'll happen here. I've never seen such hatred.

With all the war atrosities, people act like animals. That's why they happen. It seems these lifers go nuts. Army means battle, death and victory to them.

Enough about him.

I've been wondering if you ever received a $20 money order I sent about a month and a half ago. Please afirm this if you should remember next time. Not that I'm worried, but I like to keep track of the money I send and I could forget and never even miss a $200 check....

Finally got a hair cut. Glad to be rid of that stuff over here. Hot, dirty and hell to keep up.

Well, I have to go now so say hi to Grandma & Grandpa for me. Thanks again for the stamps.

Love

Steve

Copyright © 2001 by Andrew Carroll

Excerpt from The Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War, Somalia, & Bosnia

S. Sgt. Dan Welch, a tank commander with the 1st Infantry Division, Seventh Corps, was also elated by Iraq's surrender. But in a letter written to his mother and extended family back in Maine a week later, Welch began to express more ambivalence about the brief, almost surreal war he had just experienced. Welch was also unsettled by the Allies' decision not to assist the Iraqi rebels struggling to topple Hussein. (Marianne is his wife and Chris is his three-year-old son. Although Welch states that he is writing from the "King Faud Military City," he later realized he was, in fact, at the King Khalid Military City.)

8 March 91

Dear Y'all

I'm now back in Saudi Arabia. I'm in a maintenance collection point about 20 miles from King Faud Military City (K.F.M.C). The rest of my unit is still in N. Kuwait. My tank developed an oil leak part way through the fighting, and finally quit 2 days ago.

I don't know if KFMC is on the map, but if it is you know where I am. I sure don't. I wrote some place names I saw on the way here on the back of my hand, but I did my laundry today and......

We passed Kuwait City on the coast road in the middle of the night. I can't describe it. I mean the scene on the highway. We all just looked at it in the moonlight as we drove through the now silent carnage, going "God damn, God damn......"

I talked to a lieutenant today who saw it during the day while it was still fresh, and he gave an interesting description of the dead that still littered the highway, vehicles, etc. He picked up a beret out of the front seat of a car, with a dead Iraqi in the back seat, eyes wide open, frozen in a silent scream.

I still think of the guy I shot the day before we attacked. If I hadn't done it, he could have been in an EPW camp right now, waiting to go home, just like me. He probably would have surrendered along with most of the others, just one day later.

We should be able to get to the phones in the next day or two. You'll already know if I did when you get this.

They're talking we'll be here like probably three weeks or so, then move into the KFMC itself for 3 weeks or so, and then move from there toward the aircraft. We heard the first guys got home today. 100 from 24th Mech at Ft. Stewart.

I guess I haven't said anything much about what I'd done during the ground war. I started writing to Marianne about it, but it didn't come out right. We didn't do much shooting, though we (my tank) expended more ammo than any of the others in my platoon. We never shot another tank or vehicle, except one suspect tank, that, after the dust from the artillery settled, ended up an already dead heavy truck. We shot up some trenches and bunkers, mostly empty. But you never really know. We ran over some AP mines and unexploded DPICM and cluster bombs here and there, received some incoming artillery off to our flank once, etc. Mine missed an anti-tank mine by about 2 feet on the right side once coming around a dune, and at our speed would have probably gone off under my gunner and I.

It never seemed like a war. More like a field problem. Even when stuff was burning all around you and firing going off all over the place, artillery firing from behind you and landing to your front. It was very real, but more a curiosity than anything else. I just can't describe it.

Like one time 21 was right next to me, and we were on the move. He was on my right, and ran over an AP mine or submunition with his left track. It exploded and sent shit flying past me. I was up out of my hatch, and the first thing that came to mind was can I get to my camera before the smoke clears? I didn't even think to duck. And the L.T. (21) just throws his hands up and smiles, like "Oh well".

The first time I ran over one I thought that 23, to my left had fired his main gun. I didn't realize 'till one of the others ran over one what had happened. Sometimes the stuff blows a hole through the track, etc. Sometimes it doesn't scratch it.

When we were breaching the main Iraqi defense line in the neutral zone, an idiot popped up with an AK from a trench and started firing. Mine was the first to return fire, and he didn't pop back up. Although the muzzle fask was pointing at us, you just don't think of it as someone shooting at you. Just a target and you engage it, like on a range.

Right after I released the mineroller and was linking back up with the platoon, some incoming artillery rounds landed maybe 300-400 yards from us to the left and my only consideration was that it wasn't a very good shot. And the second volley never came, so I just figured that our counter-battery must have had better aim.

Can you understand what I'm saying? I think I would have had to have gotten hit for it to seem different. I guess I've played it so much for the last ten years that it just didn't seem much different than the training. I've had field problems that were tougher. This only lasted for four days. It wasn't even long enough to seem like a war. The waiting and worrying before we did it were worse than doing it.

The only time I was ever really afraid was a couple of weeks before we did it. Then I got over that. After that, the only time I thought much about it was when I would picture that split second as the impact would rip my cupola from the turret and half my body would collapse onto my gunner's back, and the resulting tears back home. But not even that from the time the prep bombardment ended and we rolled forward through the cease fire.

The thing that was hardest for me was knowing how Marianne and you, Ma, were probably taking this back home. The image I've had of you two sitting in front of the T.V. afraid that I'm already dead, can and has choked me up and brought tears to my eyes. Even now as I write this I'm hoping that Marianne isn't still waiting for the "We're sorry" Team to come knock at the door. I wish I could get to a phone to relieve the pain.

You don't know what it's like to hold an M-16 up to a man's back and make him clear out of a trench, and pick up a few pieces of rock hard bread, blue and green with mold, and break pieces off and eat them.

Or realizing you came a few feet from crushing live men that you thought were dead, and only saw at the last moment because they were too afraid to stand up.

It's only been the last couple of days that I've come to realize the horror that has taken place here. It's not a personal feeling of horror, but more an overall picture of horror. And I think it's taken so long because with only the small number of exceptions on our part, it was almost entirely theirs.

I can only imagine what it was like for those who were part of the carnage of which we witnessed the silent aftermath on that highway. It is just so very strange.

I'm just now realizing the significance of all these things I've been through and seen, that were at the time merely curiosities. It's just different now. I don't know if I'm really explaining it or leaving you wondering what the hell I'm trying to get across.

I wish that that night that we were mopping up the remains of that republican guards division that there had been another one behind it, so that there would be less of them left. We have now left the rebels in Iraq with a much harder problem to solve in their struggle. And when we pulled up to Basra, we had to halt for about an hour while a battalion of Rep. Gds. T-72's pulled out of the positions that we sat in for 3 days before we withdrew. They left one behind that they couldn't get started, and I smashed out all the optics and visions blocks with a tanker's bar with delight, knowing how much work and money they'd spent fixing it. We should have torched it after we stripped it, but by that time it was a no-no.

The news said that rebels had come to our lines asking us to join them, and also said they were running short on ammo. Of course we couldn't join them, but I and others would have led them to the vast stock piles in our vicinity if they had come to us.

I think we've made a mistake and not finished this the way it should have been ended. There is now a weakness in my heart for the people of Iraq. I'm still trying to explain what has gone on here. The next time you go to the drive-thru at McDonalds, remember that you haven't been living off rice, onions, and radiator water in your hole in the ground for the last month and a half, hoping you won't be exterminated by a pilot you don't hate, because someone told you if you didn't they would kill you and your family.

The next time you see someone throwing garbage at the White House, know that a helicopter is not going to spray them with nerve gas.

Don't hate the guy that has been busy burning Kuwait hotels and dragging people off, because it's been happening in his hometown for quite a while now, and by now he probably doesn't even realize what he's doing.

It may appear to most of us over here and to you back home that we've done our jobs, but we've screwed up and didn't finish it. He's still alive, and unless somehow the rebels finish what we've started, we may be back.

I guess I'm finally starting to feel I've fought in a war.

This is what I expected it to be like in the first place before I came over here. It just took a while for it to sink in that it really was. I think the easy victory just clouded the undertones until I reflected on it for a while here tonight.

But I still think we did the right thing, although we didn't go far enough. I still like what I do, this hasn't changed that. And I'm not psycologically scarred or maimed for life. If anything, this has just reinforced all I've believed in before I came over here. And I'll be home soon.

Love,

Dan

P.S. I hope you're saving all my letters. Someday I'd like to go through them with Chris.

Copyright © 2001 by Andrew Carroll

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Excerpted from War Letters: Extraordinary Correspondence from American Wars by Andrew Carroll
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.