When Your Soul Aches : Hope and Help for Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands

by RABEY, LOIS MOWDAY

• ISBN13: 9781578561445
• ISBN10: 1578561442
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2000-09-01
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press

Summary

Help and Hope for a Widow's Heart In the weeks and months following the loss of her husband, a widow may be numb with shock--or feel overwhelmed by a wide range of heartrending, and at times conflicting, emotions. Regardless of her response, she needs to know that she can and will make it through this difficult time. And she needs to know that--no matter how it feels--she is not alone. More than two decades ago, author Lois Mowday Rabey experienced firsthand the confusion and devastation that follows a husband's death. When Your Soul Aches is an intimate collection of inspiration and insights born of that journey through grief. Every woman who has been rocked by the loss of her partner will find relief in Rabey's vulnerable and touching account of her real-life experiences and those of dozens of other widows. Every widow's pain is unique. So are her circumstances and her experience. Yet she shares many questions and concerns with other women who have lost their husbands--ones that may be best addressed with the help of those who have previously walked through the fire. Such is the help found in the pages of When Your Soul Aches. Written by a widow who remained single for ten years while raising her two daughters, it offers invaluable guidance to women facing the painful emotions and difficult challenges of widowhood. Compassionate, empathetic, and wise, this book gently encourages those grieving the loss of their husbands to be honest about their feelings. At the same time, it offers real hope that life, though forever changed, can be sweet and good once again.

Author Biography

Lois Mowday Rabey has been writing and speaking for over fifteen years on a wide range of topics. When Your Soul Aches, her sixth book, draws from the wisdom she obtained after losing her first husband when she was 34 years old. Lois is married to writer Steve Rabey and has two married daughters and four grandchildren. She resides in Colorado.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	xiii
Introduction: My Story, Your Story	1	(6)
Part I: In the Early Days of Loss
``Will I Always Hurt This Deeply?''
One Step at a Time	7	(2)
``When Will Life Get Back to Normal?''	9	(1)
``What Did He Feel?''	10	(2)
Scent of a Memory	12	(1)
``After Forty-Five Years, He's Gone''	13	(2)
``When Will the Pain Go Away?''	15	(2)
``My Husband Made All the Decisions''	17	(1)
No ``Right'' Way to Grieve	18	(1)
Denial Is Normal	19	(2)
``Where Is My Husband When I Need Him?''	21	(2)
If Only	23	(1)
What's Your Way of Coping?	24	(1)
One Day You'll Feel Ready to Move On	25	(2)
``Are There Things I Should Be Doing?''
Pray	27	(2)
Go Ahead and Create a Memorial	29	(1)
Getting Rid of the Bed	30	(1)
Write Down Comforting Scripture Verses	31	(2)
Record Your Feelings	33	(2)
Get Your Paperwork Organized ASAP	35	(1)
Become an Advocate for Yourself	36	(3)
Be Wise and Cautious About Financial Affairs	39	(1)
Earn a Living	40	(2)
Eat Well	42	(1)
Get a Physical	43	(1)
Find a Handyman	44	(2)
Take Safety Precautions	46	(1)
``Should I Be Feeling This Way?''
``Why Did This Happen?''	47	(2)
``I'm So Angry!''	49	(2)
Guilt About Feeling Good	51	(1)
Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds	52	(2)
``God, Where Are You?''	54	(2)
``How Can I Ever Trust Again?''	56	(2)
``What If My Husband Didn't Believe in Jesus?''	58	(1)
``Where Can I Find Comfort?''
Let Yourself Cry	59	(1)
Comfort Through a Dream	60	(2)
You Are on Dry Land	62	(1)
``Can Our Loved Ones See Us?''	63	(2)
Your Husband Is Saving You a Seat at a Banquet	65	(2)
New and Glorious Bodies	67	(1)
Our Husbands See Clearly	68	(1)
A Place of Lasting Joy	69	(1)
A Taste of Heaven	70	(3)
``Help! I Never Wanted to Be a Single Parent!''
``I'm Afraid to Discipline Too Much''	73	(1)
Shielding Your Child from More Pain	74	(2)
``That's Not How Daddy Used to Do It''	76	(1)
Kids Long to Be ``Normal''	77	(2)
You Have All You Need to Be a Good Parent	79	(2)
You Are Not Your Child's Father	81	(1)
If Your Child Is Afraid of the Dark	82	(1)
Your Child's Fear of Your Death	83	(2)
Putting First Things First	85	(2)
``I Can't Remember What Daddy Looked Like''	87	(2)
Remembering As the Years Go By	89	(1)
Losing Your Husband When Your Children Are Grown	90	(2)
The Widow Without Children	92	(1)
``Who Provides the Spiritual Direction for My Children?''	92	(3)
``How Do I Deal with Other People?''
Soak in the Love	95	(1)
When Everyone Has an Opinion	96	(1)
``No One Mentions His Name''	97	(1)
``Why Don't You Cry?''	98	(1)
Soul Friends	99	(1)
Fewer Close Relationships	100	(2)
Recognizing Other People's Pain	102	(5)
Part II: When You'Re Ready to Move Ahead
``How Do I Move on with My Life?''
Putting Away the Photos	107	(1)
Cleaning Out the Closet	108	(2)
You Will Become a Different Person	110	(1)
Taking Risks	111	(1)
Becoming Wonder Woman	112	(2)
Leaving on a Jet Plane	114	(1)
Moving Beyond Labels	115	(1)
Celebrate Holidays in New Ways	116	(3)
``What About Men?''
Whispered Questions	119	(2)
When You Are Content to Stay Single	121	(1)
Admitting Desire	122	(1)
Vulnerability Can Lead to Poor Choices	123	(1)
The Pain of Compromise	124	(2)
Avoid Romanticizing Love and Dating	126	(1)
The Rules Have Changed	127	(1)
Let Go of Comparisons	128	(1)
Blind Dates	129	(2)
The Problem of Perceptions	131	(1)
If Mr. Right Does Come Along	132	(3)
``What Does the Future Hold?''
Feed on Hope	135	(1)
God Is Faithful	136	(1)
More Sweet Than Bitter	137	(1)
A Rich, Full Life	138	(1)
Cling to Him	139	(1)
The Wonder of Healing	140	(2)
God Will Work Things Out for Your Good	142	(3)
Additional Scriptures for Comfort, Inspiration, and Instruction	145