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Where's the Truth?is the fourth and final volume of Wilhelm Reich's autobiographical writings, drawn from his diaries, letters, and laboratory notebooks. They share the details of the outrider scientist's life -- his joys and sorrows, his insecurities and moments of grandiosity -- and chronicle his experiments with what he called "orgone energy." A student of Freud's and a prominent research physician in the early psychoanalytic movement, Reich moved to America in flight from Nazism and pursued research about how energy functions in the living organism. Where's the Truth?begins in January 1948, shortly after he became the target of federal investigators. He faced persecution and censorship by the U.S. government -- he was mistaken for a Nazi sympathizer and was hounded by the FBI; the FDA banned the use of his orgone box, meant to increase sexual potency and overall health; he withstood a public burning of six tons of his published works, had a stint in a mental facility, was imprisoned for contempt of court in March 1957, and died in prison eight months later. The texts gathered here show his steadfast determination to protect his work. "Where's the truth?" he asked while on trial, and that question animates this volume and rounds out our understanding of a unique, irrepressible modern figure.

Wilhelm Reich’s many works include Character Analysis, The Function of the Orgasm, The Cancer Biopathy, Cosmic Superimposition, and earlier autobiographical writings: Passion of Youth, American Odyssey, and Beyond Psychology—all published by FSG. An early disciple of Freud’s, he came to America in 1939, published The Function of the Orgasm in 1942, and died in 1957.

WHERE'S THE TRUTH? (1948)

7 January 1948

In the beginning of one's task one is enthusiastic about helping mankind. At the end of the same task one is worn out and has lost most or all of the enthusiasm. Humanity, for whose benefit one believed to fight, has put too many dangerous obstacles in one's path. One had to risk breaking one's neck in overcoming these obstacles. Disillusionment has overcome the searcher and helper. Humanity itself through its pestilent sergeants has obstructed its own benefits. Therefore the inventor or searcher acquires that definite expression of suffering and sorrow in his face (Beethoven, Galileo, Freud), which indicates that the enthusiasm to help has been replaced by ardent adherence to truth beyond any immediate practical interests.

17 January 1948

Cancer book printed--published. It is an honest book.*

Investigation by Food and Drug still going on.

24 January 1948

No legal action against FDA possible. Advice from Hays office+

To Physician Students

26 January 1948

Dear Dr.

I have been informed that the investigators of the Food and Drug Administration are trying now to question patients whom you treat psychiatrically. It is my duty to inform you that the patients must be protected from irresponsible inquiries into their private lives. Would you be kind enough to instruct all your patients that they should restrict the investigators to matters pertaining to the accumulator and definitely refuse to answer any questions such as: "How much they pay the doctor," or "Why they went to the doctor," or "With whom they associate," "Where they were born and brought up," etc., etc. Such questions by the inspectors of the F.D.A. are illegal; they have nothing to do with the object of the investigation. Protect medical secrecy.

27 January 1948

Stop of all investigation through FDA by refusing to answer any questions at all. With the FDA the mechanistic world view tried to kill the functional attitude.

The development of materialistic philosophy proceeded from fundamental questions not of a mechanical nature but, strangely enough, of a psychological nature. What is sensation? How can matter experience itself? To what is sensation bound? It was on these questions, and not on purely material questions, that scientific minds parted company with metaphysical and mystical minds, and that every dispute flared up about the correct view of the world and the events occurring in it. Because it was clear right from the start that it is only our sensation of events and things that holds the key to the deep mysteries of understanding nature. Sensation is the sieve through which the self is in contact with the world within and outside itself. All our perceptions and our judgments about the world and ourselves depend on the nature of this sieve. The sieve is the outermost limit that delineates the living orgonotic system in the orgone ocean; through the holes in the sieve, the experiencing organism communicates with the cosmic orgone ocean.*

To Dr. Werner kemper

30 January 1948

Dear Dr. Kemper,

I have received your letter of 29 December and was very pleased to hear that the parcels have finally reached you. We sent you a fourth food parcel last week and likewise a parcel of books was sent to you via Willi Brandt* in Berlin. These books also include one called "The Cancer Biopathy" which covers the work done over the last 14 years on organic biopathies. I hope that you will embrace the discovery of orgone.+ It sounds incredible, but it is quite obvious that what psychoanalysts once called the libidinous cell energy has now actually been shown to exist in a physical and demonstrable form.

Are you in contact with Aenne Morseth (Heimburgstrasse 4, Hamburg Klein--Flottbeck)? Please keep in touch now and again, and I would be glad to be of help to you in any way that I can. We are also in contact with other people in Europe.

16 February 1948

Eva+ in distress. The following happened: She was in class with several students and a professor of heart physiology. They spoke of literature to be read. He said, "Don't read literature like that of the paranoic who believes there is a pulsation in the body and in the atmosphere."--clearly WR. She did not say anything. But felt terrible.

She did not dare to look at the Cancer Biopathy I had sent to her. She did not go to work with Cott§ as arranged. She "gave herself another two years."

23 February 1948

Refutal of the ionization theory*. Facts and experiment:

G M [Geiger Müller] tubes give G.M reaction without voltage to orgonotic excitation.
Electrons from secondary coil produce no ionization. The leaves in the charged electroscope do not come together.
The energy field between two plates, fed by the IInd coil, does not influence the electroscope.
Single-pole electroscope can be charged.
Lumination in complete vacuum 2-pole and single - pole.

I photograph the ether!!! No doubt. The more literature I read on the ether, the clearer the following become:

The requirements of the ether are important, but the description of the ether is not important.
The understanding of ether became nonsense in order to take account of certain mechanical processes, which are in themselves questionable: for example, quantum 6.5 × 10^-27 erg sec.
The orgone is the true ether.
The high-ranking physicists and mathematicians have puffed themselves up unduly, They provide proof of arbitrary assumptions in a stringent way.

6 March 1948

Today, between 8 and 9 p.m. the entire world came crashing down, and a new one came into being.

Experiment: A vacuum tube produced 10,000 pulses per minute (32 scaler), with a blue glow, up to 1,000 volts without gas, without ions.

12 March 1948

The ether requires a restructuring of physics and astronomy in their entirety. This requires courage, method, loneliness, and very little publicity. And this load cannot be easily carried.

13 March 1948

The rolling snowball: Karl Menninger, incoming president of the American Psych. Society, has approvingly published Brady's* insulting article. Orgonomy+ has pulled the rug out from under his psychoanalysis.

22 March 1948

I must not allow myself to be captured by current things and forms. My work is part of the distant future.

I need helpers, but the helpers belong to the present. This is a tragedy. And only he who carries his own load can make my burden lighter.

To Armin Beregi

2 April 1948

Dear Mr. Beregi:

I have received your letter of 12 March, via Dr. Hoppe.+ Many of the questions that you raise, such as those relating to heart action currents, etc., cannot be answered at present because we still know too little about the relationship of orgone to electromagnetism. As regards your methods of approaching orgone phenomena, I must in principle repeat what I have already indicated to you: Over the course of about 16 years, packed full with experimentation and theorizing, it has become quite clear that we cannot understand orgone energy in the context of the methods and theories of classical physics, because these methods are simply not suitable and do not take us any further forward. It has already been discovered, through experiment, that we must separate the electromagnetic excitation of light from the radiation of light itself; i.e. the phenomenon of light consists of two different functions. This has been confirmed.

Similarly, it is likely that the orgone theory will make it possible to explain Planck's quanta, which so far have not been understood, rather than--vice versa--Planck's quanta providing an explanation of the functions of orgone energy. This follows clearly from the fact that orgone is primordial and is obviously the source of all known energy phenomena. It you ever succeed in establishing relationships between the action currents and orgone energy phenomena, you will have made a contribution to science the value of which cannot be overestimated. You are also certainly correct in stating that all manner of so-called miracle cures are based on body-orgone effects. Naturally, in the final analysis, such questions can be answered only by the outcome of experiments.

My Planck number is slightly higher than the one that is generally known because I was forced to extend the minute by 4 seconds.

My orgonometric numbers on astrophysics were deliberately formulated in such a way that nobody can understand them. They will be published in a way that everyone can follow, once the work has been completed.

2 April 1948

I succeeded in:

Reducing the ion theory of the GM tube to 0; orgone works in a vacuum.
Reducing the energizing voltage to 250 V at 3000 [pulses] per minute.
[Obtaining] 7-8000 pulses per minute at 350 V.

An orgone-motor is becoming a reality.

6 April 1948

I have once more ended in a heavenly waste land. This time because of the discovery of the orgone phenomena in a vacuum.

Like other people, I could enjoy children. but I need rest in order to think, and children do not allow that.

I could exert a fascination more easily than other people in gatherings.* But I had to recognize that this enthusiasm achieves nothing. They continue to defame as before.

I have discovered the ether.

This will cause me a terrible amount of trouble. Einstein stands squarely in the way with his empty space, supported by human fear of the truth. But I must put Einstein out of action as far as the ether question is concerned. By presenting the facts.

10 April 1948

Ilse+ called Dr. Wolfe of the Med. Dept. of the Atomic Energy Commission NY.

She wanted to talk to him about the GM reaction as a social problem. He promised to call back but did not do so on the same day.

We are still afraid of the great responsibility that has been visited upon us. That is why we are running to "authorities" for help. We are running to the enemy or to the corpse of passing time.

30 April 1948

Meeting of Ilse Ollendorff and Dr. James Willie* with the US Atomic Energy Commission in New York (Columbus Circle). They will give a letter to the effect that they realize their responsibility in case an "enemy" nation gets hold of destructive possibilities of the orgone energy. They also acknowledged the basic scientific character of the orgone work. They think a commission could come down if the pulses were already driving a motor. This attitude does not seem honest or good willed. The rate of 25,000 per minute from energy out of air is quite an event in itself, worthy of a great monetary effort. What they apparently want is the MOTOR ready made for them, in order to save money.

7 May 1948

We are back at Orgonon.+ Dead tired.

8 May 1948

Start of installation in the laboratory at Orgonon.

9 May 1948

Light is dawning in my life. Things become less important when they are small. The cardinal points still stand out clearly and sharply as before. It is as if only high mountain peaks protrude from the wall of small mountains, above the morning mist. The view into the distance--and peacefulness--remain.

14 May 1948
10-12 h

New discovery--

The old experience that body energy generates rotation leads to rotation through energy from vacuum tubes (Vacor tubes)* without any voltage on the CMB--3A GM apparatus:

at the listening apparatus
at the listening apparatus embedded in the pulse counter?
at the pulse measuring apparatus (1600 per minute)
at the voltmeter (approx. 30 volts)

Parallel connection of several tubes increases the rotation.

This means:

New proof that biological and atmospheric orgone are identical.
The existence of a motor force.
The possibility of a motor.

23 May 1948

After 18 years, Eva completed all her studies--no more schools. On 4 June 1948 she will graduate as an MD.

She has still not got over her malicious mother.+ She will have to do so in the future.

People should be very careful when choosing the future fathers and mothers of their children. For that reason alone, it is extremely mean to demand a marriage certificate for life, just for one night of embracement.

26 May 1948

Construction of the observatory on the hill at Orgonon is gradually getting under way. Collins* is doing the building.

1 June 1948

Eva left us yesterday after eight wonderful days of pleasant togetherness. She said that her mother had told her that the project I am working on could not be correct because I had not received any money for research.

6 June 1948

Breaking away from the Little Man in myself is terrible. If I cannot, or should not, or may not tell Tom Ross+ about orgone, I am unhappy. I suffer at the thought of spending the last 30-40 years of my life as a scientific hermit.

In short, I shudder at my "greatness." When people look at me with shy respect, they appear comical to me.

Is this narrow-mindedness or generosity?

Could I go mad? Perhaps, in absolute loneliness.

Or have I not overcome the suffering of being on the move when I was 14 years old?

I have lived in the century of major wars and mass migrations. But I was a traveler of the ether already in 1908.

How that sounds, 1908 (and how it once sounded, 1908!) compared with the 1948, 40 years, how long, how not.

7 June 1948

To stay sane in an insane world as a creative man or woman he or she must:

Keep one's life financially in de pen dent.
Continue unabated to exercise one's power of creativity in concrete, strenuous tasks, always seeking perfection as near as possible.
Carefully cherish LOVE of a partner with full gratification, of the total emotional being if possible, of the body in a clean way if necessary.
Keep out of the trap of confusion by the average man and woman, helping others to keep out of the trap too as best they can.
Keep one's structure clean like brook water through knowing and correcting every mistake, making the corrected mistake the guiding lines to new truth.
Never yield to the expediencies of life except where it is basically harmless or where the main line of development is not impeded for the duration of one's life.

24 June 1948
1:40 pm

The org motor works.

Witnesses:

Tom Ross

Ilse Ollendorff

Finally

After 1 year of hard work since 9 August 1947 the wheel is turning, driven by the cosmic orgone energy discovered by me!!!!!

To Arthur Garfield Hays*

25 June 1948

My dear Mr. Hays:

This letter is dealing with an extremely serious and urgent matter. I would, therefore, appreciate it very much if you would handle this affair personally.

You will remember that I informed you in August, 1947 of the discovery of a motor force in cosmic orgone energy by means of the Geiger-Müller counter. At that time, the possibility of using this motor force in a practical matter was already at hand, but still far removed from concrete fulfillment.

After 10 months of strenuous and hard work, I finally succeeded yesterday, on June 24th, 1948, at 1:10 p.m., to set a motor in motion by means of the rotary forces contained in cosmic orgone energy. It will take some time until this function will be "cleaned," but in the meantime it will be necessary:

To secure my legal priority
To secure a patent
To inform the responsible authorities of the U.S. Government of this accomplishment and to take all other necessary steps to develop the orgone energy motor.

I would like to outline its basic functions:

The universe, and with it the orgone envelope* of the earth planet, contains very powerful energy impulses, due to cosmic orgone energy. These impulses are caught by certain devices and are transmitted through an electronic system, without the use of any high voltage, to a motor which transforms the rapidly successive cosmic energy impulses into an electro-magnetic motor reaction. The motor can, of course, be connected with a dynemeter or some other device which could do work.

Would you be kind enough to let me know whether it would be possible that a New York, young, skilled, and courageous patent lawyer would come up to Orgonon, to see the whole thing and to prepare the necessary papers? I would let you know when the setup will be clean enough for this procedure.

I would appreciate strict discretion in this matter. The general consequences of the discovery cannot be evaluated as yet, and that has a bearing on the present social situation.

To the A. N. Marquis Company

24 August 1948

Gentlemen:

Re: Who Knows--And What

I am returning your questionnaire filled out as best I could. A type-written copy of my answers is attached for better reading. You will also find enclosed information on my background and development, a list of my main publications and of the more important publications on my work. I gathered from your instructions that you aim at as complete and accurate information as possible.

During almost 30 years of strenuous work, much material has accumulated. Since there is very much talk about my work and theories, friendly and unfriendly, I thought it advisable to send you the main data for your file. I must leave it to your discretion how much of it you deem right for use in the compilation.

Since it might appear unusual that a bio-psychiatrist should work as an expert in the realm of non-living nature, I believe it will be helpful to give the following summary:

My present work began in the realm of psychiatry and psychoanalysis, with natural scientific investigations of the energy at work in human emotions. This led to the discovery of the BIO-ENERGY in the living organism, termed ORGANISMIC ORGONE ENERGY; and further to the discovery of the same type of a basically PHYSICAL ORGONE ENERGY in the atmosphere. ORGONOMY is not psychiatry, but the science of BIOPHYSICS OF THE EMOTIONS, thus also including psychiatry, and PHYSICS in the REALM OF BASIC COSMIC ORGONE ENERGY. It is NOT mysticism, but natural scientific, experimental investigation, also of mystical emotions and experiences. ORGONE ENERGY is ENERGY BEFORE MATTER (not after matter as is atomic energy). It is studied by means of Geiger-Müller Counters and other physical instruments. It follows entirely new, hitherto unknown functional laws of nature, and not the well-known mechanical laws of electricity, heat, or mechanics.

The new scientific discipline, called ORGONOMY, including orgone physics, orgone biophysics and orgonometry, is much more inclusive than its historical core, the ORGASM THEORY, from which it developed during the past 25 years: the latter was the first functional, energetic formulation of Bio-Psychiatry (1923-1927), concerning the all-important biophysical function of the ORGASM. It differs from the later investigations on the subject, such as the KINSEY report, in that it demonstrates the inability of the majority of human animals to discharge their BIO-ENERGY in a satisfactory manner due to "ARMORING"* of the organism. The armoring prevents the natural function of total body convulsions at the peak of biophysical excitation. Accordingly, the orgasm is not a local function of the genital organs, as is generally assumed, but a basic total function of the organism in the realm of living nature.

The discovery of the atmospheric (cosmic) orgone energy resulted from the merely physical investigation of these bio-energetic, basic functions.

What has been indicated under "Other Specialisms," such as Medical Orgone Therapy, Sex-Economy, Orgasm Theory: what has been, furthermore, summed up under "other than specialization" such as Mass Psychology, Character Analysis, Genital Rights of Children and Adolescents, etc., is, in fact, not outside of, but within the framework of the total work, currently termed "ORGONOMY." This last term is, therefore, to be regarded as the appropriate name for my special discovery and the related new knowledge, including the special fields of scientific endeavor. All special applications of ORGONOMY follow the one common principle: the bio-energetic functioning in the human animal.

To Lawrence Barth

8 September 1948

Dear Mr. Barth:

Your inquiry of August 29th was forwarded to me.

I suggest that you discuss all your problems with Dr. Gold+ who is perfectly equipped theoretically as well as practically to give you all information possible on the orgone biophysical view of life and society.

I assume that you read my books carefully. In this case you will have realized that I must disagree with you 100% on your attitude toward the Sowjet Union which today is the most reactionary country in the world and holds no hope at all for mankind. If there is any hope left, it is only that of getting at the reactionary forces and inclinations in the average mass individual; a task which is completely obliterated and even prevented by firing squads on the part of the C.P.s of the world.

To Dr. S. V. Pearson

13 September 1948

Dear Dr. Pearson:

I received your letter of August 12th. I agree with you that the Masspsychology of Fascism could be issued now in a better form. But I do not agree with you in regard to your criticism of the concept of living working power. I believe that the derivation of economic values from living working power is the only truly and basically scientific accomplishment of Karl Marx which will last. But I agree again with you that the present day so-called marxist parties not only have no idea of Marx's accomplishment, but on the contrary, have messed up what ever his teachings brought to mankind, in a horrible way. They have as much to do with Marx's teachings as the splendor of the church has to do with the teachings of Jesus.

I shall study the pamphlets you sent me, but from a first survey I can already see they do not touch upon the most burning problem of the century, that of the abysmal irrationalism and brutality of man, and its core, the sexual frustration. To mention "the conditioning of habits of thoughts" is not good enough any more. We must begin to understand why people yield so easily to wrong ideas and to trends of thought which are contrary to their own life interests.

21 September 1948

It is becoming late in my life; just as in the construction of my "castle" at Orgonon.* Late autumn's storming winds proclaim approach of ending. The world of man is sad. Life found no place in it. Esteem was given to the brass. What am I? A searcher of nature's secret? Nature does not care to be found out. An animal that is whining over pain of life? Life is like nature. It does not care who carries it. It is being carried. There are good and bad carriers of Life.

To the Medical Directors:
Dr. James A. Willie, Dr. Simeon J. Tropp, Dr. A. Allan Cott

5 October 1948

Dear Dr. Willie,

This letter has the purpose to clarify some vital points in our current dealings with the Atomic Energy Commission. I have studied the report on your meeting with Dr. Beckerley carefully, in order to obtain clarity in regard to the whole complicated relationship of orgone energy to atomic energy. It concerns not only basic problems of natural science, but also practical everyday handling of administrative affairs, such as priorities for research during the war years, permits, electronic apparatus, etc. I would like to summarize the issues according to their importance.

1. It became clear, since the discovery of the orgone energy in bionous matter in 1936,+ and especially since the discovery of the atmospheric orgone in 1940, that we are dealing with a universal, primordial, hitherto unknown type of ENERGY. Experiment XX+ has shown beyond the shadow of a doubt, that it is energy before matter, i.e., energy from which matter arises. "atomic energy," on the other hand, is energy derived from matter through splitting of the unit of matter, called "atom." It is clear from our definition of "orgone energy," as well as from the definition of "atomic energy," that orgone is not atomic energy, and that, therefore, our activities do not fall under the Atomic Energy Act of Congress. So far, the attitude of the Atomic Energy Commission seems correct.

But this conclusion stands only as long as the term Atomic Energy is restricted to those energy processes which depend on splitting the atoms. This definition postulates that the primary units in the universe consist of energy particles which possess mass. As long as this view remains valid, we are not handling "atomic energy," and the AEC is not obliged or even interested in supporting our work.

There are, however, considerations which would change this whole outlook:

2. Logically, our basic assumption cannot be valid, namely that orgone energy represents primordial, massfree energy from which matter arises, if the theoretical foundation of the work in atomic energy is valid, that mass is a primordial, cosmic function. These two theoretical foundations are mutually exclusive, merely logically, before any fact. The question can only be decided experimentally. But it appears clear already at this phase of our discussion that we would have a just claim for financial support by the AEC if the term atomic energy would not be restricted to "atoms," but would include all primordial functions of nature.

This would require major changes in the theoretical foundation of present day physics and cosmology. We cannot expect such changes to take place easily, painlessly or quickly. It will take decades to coordinate the orgonomic with the atomic view of nature. The question now is: Should the present state of affairs be allowed to continue until basic natural research will have done its job of coordination and clarification? Is it not clear that such coordination will require cooperation rather than formalistic legalistic restriction of realms of competence? I believe that flexibility in legal and formal procedures will have to precede the final accomplishment.

3. One argument which must be added to the legalistic is the practical one. You know that I succeeded in activating a motor system by means of cosmic orgone energy impulses. I needed several units of the type of motor with which I was experimenting. The administrative director wrote to the Office of the Technical Advisors of the AEC for help. We received the following answer:

"Reference is made to your letter of September 9th. In our discussion last spring I pointed out that while the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission has an interest in fundamental studies such as those you are conducting it is not proper for the USAEC to lend direct assistance to you inasmuch as we are charged (Atomic Energy Act of 1946, Sec. 1 (b)) with fostering private research only when such research is related to atomic energy.

"Although your experiments, as I understand them, have demonstrated some Geiger counter activity, I do not believe that the relation between the effect you have observed and the phenomena associated with "atomic energy" has been demonstrated. When you can show that your experiments are directly allied to atomic energy phenomena we will be willing to encourage your work and assist you in your efforts to locate sources of equipment.

"Until that time I feel that we are not justified in spending our time and thereby spending money derived ultimately from Federal taxes in activities not clearly within the scope of the Atomic Energy Act. I am certain you can appreciate the fact that we must band all our efforts to doing the job requested by the Congress."

This attitude spotlighted the whole situation: We are working with Geiger Müller Counters, as the atomic physicist does. Our counting rates are much higher than the rates in AE research, approximately 12,000 impulses per second, without fission of matter and without high voltage application. We have obtained a result in the technical use of the cosmic energy impulses which could not be obtained by atomic energy research. We are advised that Congress authorized taxpayers money for "atomic energy" only. This is legally true, but factually Congress and the American people are not interested in the legal definition, but in practical achievements. In this case, not the achievement should be neglected, but the legal term should be adjusted to the facts rather than the facts to the legal terms.

This one example may suffice to show the inadvisability of legalistic thinking. There are dozens of such examples which could be mentioned to prove the same point.

4. When Miss Ollendorf and Dr. Willie visited the AEC on April 30th, 1948, they were told, according to a report which I received, that "the interest of the AEC would be much greater if the phenomena obtained in the vacuum tubes could be transmitted into a continuous flow of measurable energy."

This goal has been achieved during the summer months of 1948, and a report on the fact was sent to the AEC and to the National Academy of Science. Now, after this has been done, we are requested to show that our "experiments are directly allied to Atomic Energy phenomena," and that then the AEC would encourage our work and assist us in locating sources of equipment.

I don't have to tell you who have seen the phenomena and are well acquainted with the total process of our work, that all these requirements have long been fulfilled. Our work is allied with the atomic energy phenomena by the mere fact that we operate cosmic energy by means of Geiger Müller counters, and that we are able to turn a motor with this energy; an accomplishment, not reached so far in atomic research.

May I be permitted to say that these things are not a play with pebbles. What we want, are entitled to request. is MONEY, taxpayers money, from the many billion dollar grants for atomic research, to finish our job.

Some 8 years ago, I was promised economic support if my claim of the existence of a continuous temperature difference at the orgone accumulator would prove to be true. I demonstrated the fact, it was corroborated, but the promise was not fulfilled. Support was promised when an even flow of energy and its technical use would show up. This happened, but we received no money, and now another achievement is required.

Our work, with its $15,000 a year bud get, appears rather negligible as compared with the billion dollars a year spent in atomic research. A handful of eager workers in our field appear, I admit, negligible as compared with thousands of physicists and hundred thousands of workers in the AEC enterprises. It seems, therefore, incredible that a motor began turning in our negligible set-up and not in the big enterprises. Yet, this fact is true and can be demonstrated at any moment.

What our small outfit could accomplish if it had only $500,000 would seem incalculable on the basis of what has been achieved so far. Physicians in many countries are at work practically with experimentation on human diseases by use of the orgone accumulator, with great medical success.

Let me tell you about some prospects which have not yet been published and which I have not communicated to you as yet:

a. A bridge from the functions of primordial orgone energy to some atomic numbers has been found.

b. A bridge has been established between the functional equations pertaining to orgone energy functions and Planck's quantum number.

c. A very important, basic link has been found between our orgone energy formula and Kepler's Law of Harmony.

This may suffice to demonstrate very clearly our justified claim, to request support by the powerful and rich AEC of our work, in the interest of the people of the U.S. To neglect further the great potentialities of orgone research on account of merely formalistic, legalistic or prestige reasons, could not be justified before the public. We aim at cooperation, and not competition between Atomic Energy Research and Orgone Energy Research. I am willing to reveal all unpublished facts and existent work hypothesis, to the representatives of the people of the U.S.A. But the representatives of the people of the U.S.A. would have to give us firmer guarantees of support than mere promises as hitherto. It is unnecessary to show here in detail how many human lives depend on the correct settlement of this issue.

You are free to send a copy of this letter to the proper authority in the AEC, in case you deem it right to do so.

25 November 1948

Thanksgiving Day of the American people, to give thanks to the founders of America and their God for the simple freedom to live and to function happily. This freedom, simple as it is, given as it is naturally to all the living, has become the most challenged and the most difficult thing to obtain in this world. WHY?

It is quiet in my home. All have gone to see some parade. I have spent two hours correcting my book on ORGONOMIC FUNCTIONALISM.

26 November 1948

Everything was perfectly quiet again last night after 10 o'clock. Peter* had finally gone asleep. He had urged me to tell him how plastic is made while I was burning to get to my desk to work out certain orgonometric equations. It took me half an hour to start in on it. I worked until 1:30 a.m. and finally I had it.

I had previously assumed, on the basis of the Geiger action with Vacor tubes, that it was pulses (p) which gave rise to waves (w). But then it had happened that my motor turned also when it was influenced by oscillations, that is, by waves. Therefore the direction p--->w worked also the other way around: w--->p. A new problem stood before me: What is now, according to the laws of orgonomic functionalism, the common functioning principle of p and w? I knew that I was dealing here with problems at the basis of all true knowledge, i.e. with a most decisive question. I went down to the lab and let the setups work again. No doubt, there it was: p induced w but also w induced p. Until then I had assumed that waves or pulses belonged to the basic principle of natural functions. Finally the fog cleared away: Pulses and waves were influencing each other (not "causing" each other). It was the function of PULSATION again which constituted the common functioning principle of both, pulses and waves:

I had thus corrected a dangerous error in my thinking; I had thought that pulsation consists of pulses. Now I knew: Pulsation functions in the variations, pulses and waves, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Reich's deepening focus on orgone physics did not lessen his concern about the human condition. Over the years, he had experienced and studied the malevolence of man and found it to be so widespread in social relationships and institutions he likened it to a plague--an emotional plague. He referred to it as

an endemic illness, like schizophrenia or cancer, with one notable difference, i.e., it is essentially manifested in social life. Schizophrenia and cancer are biopathies which we can look upon as the results of the ravages of the emotional plague in social life. The effects of the emotional plague can be seen in the human organism as well as in the life of society. Every so often, the emotional plague develops into an epidemic just like any other contagious disease, such as the bubonic plague or cholera. Epidemic outbreaks of the emotional plague become manifest in widespread and violent breakthroughs of sadism and criminology, on a small and large scale. One such epidemic outbreak was the Catholic Inquisition of the Middle Ages; the international fascism of the twentieth century is another.

The actions taken against Reich by the FDA and its adherents show many of the characteristics of this disease as Reich has described them:

"The motive given for the action never coincides with the real motive which is hidden.

There is total belief in the ostensible goal.

Conclusions are not the results of thinking but are predetermined. Thinking serves to confirm and rationalize the predetermined conclusion.

Use of defamation (generally sexual, moralistic)"

28 November 1948

This is the story I just have heard:

One of my doctor students, from Boston, had given birth to a boy. He was a happy, rosy, smiling baby. The next day they brought him in to her. He was pale, quiet, and looked like an old man. The surgeons had circumcised him without informing the mother. And there is no law in the country, or in the world for that matter, which would according to the law of the boomerang entitle us, the physicians against the emotional plague, to have this surgeon punished. Why wasn't this horrible story written down? I asked. No answer. This is a part of the misery: The surgeons castrate infants, the plague holds the reins of public opinion, and those who know and suffer keep silent. HOW CAN THIS SILENCE BE EVER BROKEN?

29 November 1948

I have learned to understand how the Emotional Plague works; but I have not discovered yet the medicine which would extinguish this plague as the black plague, which is transmitted by rats, has been extinguished.

Such a frustrated neurotic as Brady for instance was able to set a snowball rolling, easily and speedily, as no truth in the world till now could. The pestilent gossip had publicity in several magazines and newspapers which it was impossible to obtain for the truth of orgone energy and its healing properties. The pestilent gossip was able to mobilize several government agencies against the truth, whereas our hard toiling was unable to mobilize one single government agency for the healing truth up till now.

The pestilent gossip was able to infest many centers of a whole continent with the idea that the orgone accumulator is a kind of masturbation device. This includes the University of the State of New York, which read Brady but did not read the Function of the Orgasm or the Cancer Biopathy.

The pestilent gossip was able to keep the leading workers of this institute busy with administrative affairs for a whole year to such an extent that other, essential work in science, medicine and education had to be postponed. Besides we had expenses of several thousand dollars in this connection.

The pestilent gossip of Brady and psychoanalytic consorts was able to make an industrialist run away who had already decided to put 50,000 dollars into the manufacturing of orgone accumulators for the good of the sick, of children who are pale, and the cancerous who are agonized in pain.

The pestilent gossip enjoyed avidly listening ears while the truth had to fight an exhausting struggle uphill under the threat of investigation, arrests, and final disaster.

The gossip was easily accepted while the truth that this pestilent attack was a typical red fascist* maneuver to eliminate a dangerous enemy of dictatorship, was not believed to be true. When I told my friends in 1947 that the appearance of the pestilent article filled with many lies and distortions in a magazine+ which was at that time under the editorship of Henry Wallace, was the indication of a communist attack, nobody wanted to believe it. One year later, at the presidential election of 1948, nobody had any doubt as to Wallace's loyalty to the Russian dictator.

Our medical problem is this:

WHAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FACT THAT GOSSIP AND LIE CAN SO EASILY PREVAIL AND RUIN HUMAN LIVES AND HARD ENDEAVORS, WHEREAS THE TRUTH HAS ALWAYS TO FIGHT UPHILL WITH THE TONGUE OUT, SO TO SPEAK, FROM EXHAUSTION IN ORDER MERELY TO SURVIVE AND SO OFTEN ONLY TO DIE?

This is a strict MEDICAL PROBLEM, and I was the first physician and psychiatrist to put it straight before the public in Europe already in academic terms (1928-1939), and here, in the USA in very practical and simple terms since 1939. It is because I have found and set this problem straight up in front of everybody, that the plague has centered its attack upon me for such a long time and in such a dangerous manner.

I found a preliminary and insufficient answer to the problem as formulated above: THE EMOTIONAL PLAGUE PREVAILS AND THE TRUTH SUCCUMBS SO EASILY BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS THE EMOTIONAL PLAGUE, AS AN ORGANIZED INSTITUTION OF THE BODY SOCIAL, AND NOBODY UNDERSTANDS HOW IT WORKS IF EVER ANYBODY FEELS THAT SOMETHING IS BASICALLY WRONG WITH THE HUMAN, SOCIAL, AND EMOTIONAL EXISTENCE.

This answer can be only a preliminary one. It does not say anything, really. And as long as we are unable to answer this question in a truly scientific and medical way, the mass killing will go on, and the truth, which saves lives and gives happiness, will stand before the palaces of the people on this earth, in dirty torn clothes, with grime and ashes on its face, smeared into it by the gossipers and the evil ones; and it will carry its holy cross with lungs heavily panting, the sweat of hard labor, and fear and desolation wetting its limbs, up to Calvary where it will forever be nailed to the cross together with the thieves, so that everybody may believe that it was a thief and a liar, a traitor and an enemy of mankind. Basically, this is the real problem of the legend of the crucification of Jesus. Somehow and somewhere deep down the people KNOW all this and they worship Jesus because this great simple soul was crucified together with the thieves in a ghastly manner. But no praying and no hypocritical churchgoing will ever solve the medical problem in such a practical fashion that the Bradys and consorts go to the jail where they belong and tried hard to imprison an important piece of truth. It is one of the most ghastly and most horrible attitudes in life to hang the truth first together with the thieves and to adore it after the killing as the "savior of mankind" and as the "redeemer from sins." Why don't you carry the cross of your sins yourselves, you good citizen of this earth? Why does somebody else have to hang for your sins together with the thieves? Is not this a very easy and cowardly way out of your pestilent sinning?

Why does a psychoanalyst like Mr. Karl Menninger gang up with a gossiper like Brady to kill the truth, to defame my name, to tell physicians who want to study with me that I am crazy, to publish a dirty piece of base journalism in his medical bulletin? Why does he do this in the face of plain simple facts which are demonstrated and handled every single day in a practical manner with many hundreds of patients by dozens of duly licensed medical doctors? Is he foolish, or flabbergasted, or, maybe, afraid?

At the bottom of this stupid misbehavior is the guilty feeling and bad conscience which many of the psychoanalysts of the early part of this century have in regard to Orgonomy.

In the Twenties they could have had it all. At that time I fought hard and desperately and honestly to put my teachings across WITHIN the Association of the Psychoanalysts of which I was a very prominent and responsibly active member. They did not want the ORGASM THEORY then.* It was some 20 years too early. Now the orgasm theory conquers the world of psychiatry and some parts already of organic medicine too. Then, they did not want me and tried hard to get rid of me. This happened by way of slander and gossip and defamation, AND NOT BY WAY OF ARGUMENT, at the Congress in Lucerne in 1934. They thought I was dead or killed, definitely. But I was not dead. I came back with more medicine against the plague than ever before. Now they began to play a new game of distortion. Since I was now understood and acclaimed all over the psychiatric world as the originator of the theory and technic of character analysis they said: "Well, Reich was great as a psychoanalyst up till character analysis, which is a 'CLASSIC.' But since then he went completely haywire, became schizophrenic, crazy." And they did all they possibly could to spread this defamation "from ear to ear."

They lied. It is not true that they recognized the importance and truth of CHARACTER ANALYSIS when it was born 1928-1939. They defamed it then. They gossiped then to the effect that I seduced my children, let them watch sexual intercourse, that I took adolescent girls into the woods, that I was insane, or that I put up my tent in the lobby of a big hotel. (I put it up at the shore of the beautiful lake in Lucerne to take a swim in the early mornings while their kind sat as stuffed shirts in the hotel lobbies gossiping and forgetting about the sexuality of children.) They began to acclaim character analysis when they could not help doing so anymore; when the professional public at large read it by the thousands; when it was stolen from the university libraries because it could not be bought, thousands of copies having been sold in a few months. Then and only then did they acclaim me as a "FORMER BRILLIANT" psychoanalyst. Now, Orgonomy tries hard to get rid of being a sort of psychoanalysis which it isn't. But the KNOWERS, the ones who are with me and for me, kept mostly silent; and the pestilent gossip held the scene of the public eye.

WHY DO THOSE WHO KNOW KEEP SILENT? WHY DON'T THEY SPEAK UP? WHY DON'T THEY COME TO THE RESCUE OF THE ONE WHO TELLS THE TRUTH? WHY DO THEY WAIT UNTIL HE IS KILLED IN ONE WAY OR OTHER? WHY DO THEY CRAWL OUT OF THEIR HOLES SO RELUCTANTLY, SO TIMIDLY, SO AWFULLY SLOWLY, SO LATE, ALWAYS TOO LATE? DON'T THEY HEAR THE AGONIES OF CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS?

We Americans have proclaimed our right and ability to protect truth and to put it into effect across the world, to lift all Iron Curtains that may be. But here is the problem: HOW SHOULD IT BE POSSIBLE TO PUT THE TRUTH ACROSS EVERYWHERE IF WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND YET WHY PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE TRUTH DO NOT TELL IT?

To James Willie, M.D.

18 December 1948

Dear Dr. Willie:

It becomes more clear as the weeks pass by that the reluctance or even fear to touch the core of our teachings, that is, the function of genitality, including orgonotic streamings* in the pelvis, has taken possession of very many if not most of our medical therapists. This, of course, constitutes a great danger, not only to the future of the work, but particularly to the relationship of the medical practitioners to the Orgone Institute.* Since Orgone Research and Orgonomy as a natural science cannot budge in the emphasis of this most important bioenergetic function of man, the conclusion is inevitable that the split which is already there, will increase irreparably in due time if we do not do something about it right now and here.

I would appreciate it very much if you would care to help me in overcoming this major obstacle. We have discussed the necessity that medical practitioners should lecture at least twice on clinical cases before they are recognized and listed. I would like to add now that we should not admit anybody to practice who is not perfectly trained in handling and discussing the orgonotic streamings in the biosystem, including the pelvis and the genital organs. This essential point should, one way or another, also be included in the formulation of the bylaws of the Medical Association.

I would like to point out specifically the future danger as I see it: The patients are streaming into the offices of our medical doctors because they feel that orgone biophysics has answered their biosexual problems basically. They seek help in that respect first of all. Now, if this essential problem is, as it appears, eschewed systematically, disillusionment and disappointment will inevitably follow, and the whole medical work will fall into disrepute. Our strength lies not in avoiding this issue but, on the contrary, in having it put straight and clear in front of the widest public.

I suggest to discuss this most important problem in one of our coming meetings. In the meantime, I shall appreciate your suggestions.

25 December 1948

I love Christmas. I love the Christmas chorales. They are going to the roots of human emotional existence. They bring forth the purest form of cosmic longing and awareness. They unite man with his origin.

Sometime, I shall have to revise my earlier statements about religion which I had made under the influence of a misinterpreted materialism and mechanism, before I had discovered the cosmic orgone energy. This discovery has changed so much in my life. I began to understand why man longs so much to grow beyond his own limitations, to expand, to master the universe: He feels imprisoned in a jail, as it were, and he strives desperately to get out of it, to merge with his origin in the cosmic orgone ocean, whether he calls it uniting with Jesus or the great father, does not matter. What matters is his terror to "touch" Jesus; to feel out problems; to try many kinds of solutions; to reach his innermost existence; to be strict with himself; to like to give and to teach.

But--keep aloof of the church business--

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WHERE'S THE TRUTH? (1948)

7 January 1948

In the beginning of one's task one is enthusiastic about helping mankind. At the end of the same task one is worn out and has lost most or all of the enthusiasm. Humanity, for whose benefit one believed to fight, has put too many dangerous obstacles in one's path. One had to risk breaking one's neck in overcoming these obstacles. Disillusionment has overcome the searcher and helper. Humanity itself through its pestilent sergeants has obstructed its own benefits. Therefore the inventor or searcher acquires that definite expression of suffering and sorrow in his face (Beethoven, Galileo, Freud), which indicates that the enthusiasm to help has been replaced by ardent adherence to truth beyond any immediate practical interests.

17 January 1948

Cancer book printed--published. It is an honest book.*

Investigation by Food and Drug still going on.

24 January 1948

No legal action against FDA possible. Advice from Hays office+

To Physician Students

26 January 1948

Dear Dr.

I have been informed that the investigators of the Food and Drug Administration are trying now to question patients whom you treat psychiatrically. It is my duty to inform you that the patients must be protected from irresponsible inquiries into their private lives. Would you be kind enough to instruct all your patients that they should restrict the investigators to matters pertaining to the accumulator and definitely refuse to answer any questions such as: "How much they pay the doctor," or "Why they went to the doctor," or "With whom they associate," "Where they were born and brought up," etc., etc. Such questions by the inspectors of the F.D.A. are illegal; they have nothing to do with the object of the investigation. Protect medical secrecy.

27 January 1948

Stop of all investigation through FDA by refusing to answer any questions at all. With the FDA the mechanistic world view tried to kill the functional attitude.

The development of materialistic philosophy proceeded from fundamental questions not of a mechanical nature but, strangely enough, of a psychological nature. What is sensation? How can matter experience itself? To what is sensation bound? It was on these questions, and not on purely material questions, that scientific minds parted company with metaphysical and mystical minds, and that every dispute flared up about the correct view of the world and the events occurring in it. Because it was clear right from the start that it is only our sensation of events and things that holds the key to the deep mysteries of understanding nature. Sensation is the sieve through which the self is in contact with the world within and outside itself. All our perceptions and our judgments about the world and ourselves depend on the nature of this sieve. The sieve is the outermost limit that delineates the living orgonotic system in the orgone ocean; through the holes in the sieve, the experiencing organism communicates with the cosmic orgone ocean.*

To Dr. Werner kemper

30 January 1948

Dear Dr. Kemper,

I have received your letter of 29 December and was very pleased to hear that the parcels have finally reached you. We sent you a fourth food parcel last week and likewise a parcel of books was sent to you via Willi Brandt* in Berlin. These books also include one called "The Cancer Biopathy" which covers the work done over the last 14 years on organic biopathies. I hope that you will embrace the discovery of orgone.+ It sounds incredible, but it is quite obvious that what psychoanalysts once called the libidinous cell energy has now actually been shown to exist in a physical and demonstrable form.

Are you in contact with Aenne Morseth (Heimburgstrasse 4, Hamburg Klein--Flottbeck)? Please keep in touch now and again, and I would be glad to be of help to you in any way that I can. We are also in contact with other people in Europe.

16 February 1948

Eva+ in distress. The following happened: She was in class with several students and a professor of heart physiology. They spoke of literature to be read. He said, "Don't read literature like that of the paranoic who believes there is a pulsation in the body and in the atmosphere."--clearly WR. She did not say anything. But felt terrible.

She did not dare to look at the Cancer Biopathy I had sent to her. She did not go to work with Cott§ as arranged. She "gave herself another two years."

23 February 1948

Refutal of the ionization theory*. Facts and experiment:

G M [Geiger Müller] tubes give G.M reaction without voltage to orgonotic excitation.

Electrons from secondary coil produce no ionization. The leaves in the charged electroscope do not come together.

The energy field between two plates, fed by the IInd coil, doesnotinfluence the electroscope.

Single-pole electroscope can be charged.

Lumination in complete vacuum 2-pole and single - pole.

I photograph the ether!!! No doubt. The more literature I read on the ether, the clearer the following become:

The requirements of the ether are important, but the description of the ether is not important.

The understanding of ether became nonsense in order to take account of certain mechanical processes, which are in themselves questionable: for example, quantum 6.5 × 10-27erg sec.

The orgone is the true ether.

The high-ranking physicists and mathematicians have puffed themselves up unduly, They provide proof of arbitrary assumptions in a stringent way.

6 March 1948

Today, between 8 and 9 p.m. the entire world came crashing down, and a new one came into being.

Experiment: A vacuum tube produced 10,000 pulses per minute (32 scaler), with a blue glow, up to 1,000 volts without gas, without ions.

12 March 1948

The ether requires a restructuring of physics and astronomy in their entirety. This requires courage, method, loneliness, and very little publicity. And this load cannot be easily carried.

13 March 1948

The rolling snowball: Karl Menninger, incoming president of the American Psych. Society, has approvingly published Brady's* insulting article. Orgonomy+ has pulled the rug out from under his psychoanalysis.

22 March 1948

I must not allow myself to be captured by current things and forms. My work is part of the distant future.

I need helpers, but the helpers belong to the present. This is a tragedy. And only he who carries his own load can make my burden lighter.

To Armin Beregi

2 April 1948

Dear Mr. Beregi:

I have received your letter of 12 March, via Dr. Hoppe.+ Many of the questions that you raise, such as those relating to heart action currents, etc., cannot be answered at present because we still know too little about the relationship of orgone to electromagnetism. As regards your methods of approaching orgone phenomena, I must in principle repeat what I have already indicated to you: Over the course of about 16 years, packed full with experimentation and theorizing, it has become quite clear that we cannot understand orgone energy in the context of the methods and theories of classical physics, because these methods are simply not suitable and do not take us any further forward. It has already been discovered, through experiment, that we must separate the electromagnetic excitation of light from the radiation of light itself; i.e. the phenomenon of light consists of two different functions. This has been confirmed.

Similarly, it is likely that the orgone theory will make it possible to explain Planck's quanta, which so far have not been understood, rather than--vice versa--Planck's quanta providing an explanation of the functions of orgone energy. This follows clearly from the fact that orgone is primordial and is obviously the source of all known energy phenomena. It you ever succeed in establishing relationships between the action currents and orgone energy phenomena, you will have made a contribution to science the value of which cannot be overestimated. You are also certainly correct in stating that all manner of so-called miracle cures are based on body-orgone effects. Naturally, in the final analysis, such questions can be answered only by the outcome of experiments.

My Planck number is slightly higher than the one that is generally known because I was forced to extend the minute by 4 seconds.

My orgonometric numbers on astrophysics were deliberately formulated in such a way that nobody can understand them. They will be published in a way that everyone can follow, once the work has been completed.

2 April 1948

I succeeded in:

Reducing the ion theory of the GM tube to 0; orgone works in a vacuum.

Reducing the energizing voltage to 250 V at 3000 [pulses] per minute.

[Obtaining] 7-8000 pulses per minute at 350 V.

An orgone-motor is becoming a reality.

6 April 1948

I have once more ended in a heavenly waste land. This time because of the discovery of the orgone phenomena in a vacuum.

Like other people, I could enjoy children. but I need rest in order to think, and children do not allow that.

I could exert a fascination more easily than other people in gatherings.* But I had to recognize that this enthusiasm achieves nothing. They continue to defame as before.

I have discovered the ether.

This will cause me a terrible amount of trouble. Einstein stands squarely in the way with his empty space, supported by human fear of the truth. But I must put Einstein out of action as far as the ether question is concerned. By presenting the facts.

10 April 1948

Ilse+ called Dr. Wolfe of the Med. Dept. of the Atomic Energy Commission NY.

She wanted to talk to him about the GM reaction as a social problem. He promised to call back but did not do so on the same day.

We are still afraid of the great responsibility that has been visited upon us. That is why we are running to "authorities" for help. We are running to the enemy or to the corpse of passing time.

30 April 1948

Meeting of Ilse Ollendorff and Dr. James Willie* with the US Atomic Energy Commission in New York (Columbus Circle). They will give a letter to the effect that they realize their responsibility in case an "enemy" nation gets hold of destructive possibilities of the orgone energy. They also acknowledged the basic scientific character of the orgone work. They think a commission could come down if the pulses were already driving a motor. This attitude does not seem honest or good willed. The rate of 25,000 per minute from energy out of air is quite an event in itself, worthy of a great monetary effort. What they apparently want is the MOTOR ready made for them, in order to save money.

7 May 1948

We are back at Orgonon.+ Dead tired.

8 May 1948

Start of installation in the laboratory at Orgonon.

9 May 1948

Light is dawning in my life. Things become less important when they are small. The cardinal points still stand out clearly and sharply as before. It is as if only high mountain peaks protrude from the wall of small mountains, above the morning mist. The view into the distance--and peacefulness--remain.

14 May 1948
10-12 h

New discovery--

The old experience that body energy generates rotation leads to rotation through energy from vacuum tubes (Vacor tubes)* without any voltage on the CMB--3A GM apparatus:

at the listening apparatus

at the listening apparatus embedded in the pulse counter?

at the pulse measuring apparatus (1600 per minute)

at the voltmeter (approx. 30 volts)

Parallel connection of several tubes increases the rotation.

This means:

New proof that biological and atmospheric orgone are identical.

The existence of a motor force.

The possibility of a motor.

23 May 1948

After 18 years, Eva completed all her studies--no more schools. On 4 June 1948 she will graduate as an MD.

She has still not got over her malicious mother.+ She will have to do so in the future.

People should be very careful when choosing the future fathers and mothers of their children. For that reason alone, it is extremely mean to demand a marriage certificate for life, just for one night of embracement.

26 May 1948

Construction of the observatory on the hill at Orgonon is gradually getting under way. Collins* is doing the building.

1 June 1948

Eva left us yesterday after eight wonderful days of pleasant togetherness. She said that her mother had told her that the project I am working on could not be correct because I had not received any money for research.

6 June 1948

Breaking away from the Little Man in myself is terrible. If I cannot, or should not, or may not tell Tom Ross+ about orgone, I am unhappy. I suffer at the thought of spending the last 30-40 years of my life as a scientific hermit.

In short, I shudder at my "greatness." When people look at me with shy respect, they appear comical to me.

Is this narrow-mindedness or generosity?

Could I go mad? Perhaps, in absolute loneliness.

Or have I not overcome the suffering of being on the move when I was 14 years old?

I have lived in the century of major wars and mass migrations. But I was a traveler of the ether already in 1908.

How that sounds, 1908 (and how it once sounded, 1908!) compared with the 1948, 40 years, how long, how not.

7 June 1948

To stay sane in an insane world as a creative man or woman he or she must:

Keep one's life financially in de pen dent.

Continue unabated to exercise one's power of creativity in concrete, strenuous tasks, always seeking perfection as near as possible.

Carefully cherish LOVE of a partner with full gratification, of the total emotional being if possible, of the body in a clean way if necessary.

Keep out of the trap of confusion by the average man and woman, helping others to keep out of the trap too as best they can.

Keep one's structure clean like brook water through knowing and correcting every mistake, making the corrected mistake the guiding lines to new truth.

Never yield to the expediencies of life except where it is basically harmless or where the main line of development is not impeded for the duration of one's life.

24 June 1948
1:40 pm

The org motor works.

Witnesses:

Tom Ross

Ilse Ollendorff

Finally

After 1 year of hard work since 9 August 1947 the wheel is turning, driven by the cosmic orgone energy discovered by me!!!!!

To Arthur Garfield Hays*

25 June 1948

My dear Mr. Hays:

This letter is dealing with an extremely serious and urgent matter. I would, therefore, appreciate it very much if you would handle this affair personally.

You will remember that I informed you in August, 1947 of the discovery of a motor force in cosmic orgone energy by means of the Geiger-Müller counter. At that time, the possibility of using this motor force in a practical matter was already at hand, but still far removed from concrete fulfillment.

After 10 months of strenuous and hard work, I finally succeeded yesterday, on June 24th, 1948, at 1:10 p.m., to set a motor in motion by means of the rotary forces contained in cosmic orgone energy. It will take some time until this function will be "cleaned," but in the meantime it will be necessary:

To secure my legal priority

To secure a patent

To inform the responsible authorities of the U.S. Government of this accomplishment and to take all other necessary steps to develop the orgone energy motor.