While They're at War

by Henderson, Kristin

• ISBN13: 9780618558759
• ISBN10: 0618558756
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2006-02-02
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Summary

Kristin Henderson is a journalist married to a military chaplain who has served in the Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq. In While They're at War, she draws upon the trust she's earned from military families and her unique access to military staff to give us a "powerful, revealing, and sometimes painful . . . look behind the scenes" (Booklist) at the modern military's untold story. We first meet Marissa Bootes and Beth Pratt, new Army wives undergoing intense indoctrination on Fort Bragg, North Carolina, while their husbands are fighting in Iraq. Their stories unfold to reveal often hidden aspects of life on the homefront. Through gripping storytelling, we see families battling the overwhelming effects of isolation and anticipatory grief, the strongly enforced codes concerning infidelity, their feelings of alienation both from military staff and from nonmilitary citizens, and the harrowing impact of e-mail/cellphone/CNN culture. Moving scenes bring to life the special struggles of children and those who teach and care for them, as well as the toll that combat exposure takes on families, especially if it erupts into homecoming violence. Finally, Henderson reveals the life-changing solidarity experienced in an informal support group like Fort Bragg's Hooah Wives. While They're at War is an indelible portrait, too, of virtually invisible figures such as homefront fathers raising teenagers alone. We meet the chaplains, social workers, and psychiatrists dedicated to helping military families cope. And, through Henderson's brilliant reporting from Walter Reed Army Medical Center's Ward 57, we are given a searing view of the wounded and their families confronting changed lives. "In a country of nearly three hundred million people," Henderson writes, "only two and half million serve in the active duty armed forces. . . Yet in our American democracy, the warriors themselves don't get to decide when [sacrifices] are to be made. Civilians make that decision. It's up to our civilian Congress to declare war. . . and it's up to the civilians who elect those leaders to pay attention, to make sure that the cause of the hour is worth the sacrifices being made on their behalf." While They're at War is moving and necessary testimony for all Americans, from the military families who make possible America's way of war and way of life. Kristin Henderson has written frequently on military issues; this book had its origins in two cover stories for the Washington Post Magazine. She is also the author of Driving by Moonlight, an account of her experience during her husband's deployment to Afghanistan. A practicing Quaker, she is married to a Navy chaplain serving with the Marines and is active in the Marine Corps's Key Volunteer family readiness program. Praise for While They're at War "Most of us are aware of the horrors of war and of the sacrifice made by our fighting men and women. Less well understood is the burden borne by the families our service members leave behind. While They're at War reveals their solidarity and hope, their loneliness and anguish in the face of uncertainty. Authentic and from the heart, this is a piece of often untold American history, and a must-read for those both in and out of uniform." -- Senator John McCain "While They're at War is the powerful story of those on the homefront who are also on the tip of the spear in terms of suffering in war. It is their story -- the true story -- of the ultimate costs of war." -- Former Senator Max Cleland "We rightly say that the American military is the best armed force in history. Less well understood is the family foundation for that force. Henderson shares that insight from an insider's perspective in a moving narrative." -- John Hamre, Ph.D., former deputy secretary of defense, president and CEO of the Center for Strategic and International Studies "This is a story that begs to be told. Whether

Author Biography

KRISTIN HENDERSON has written frequently about military issues, including two cover stories for the Washington Post Magazine, where this book had its origins. A practicing Quaker and occasional amateur racer of Corvettes, Henderson is married to a Navy chaplain who served with the Marines in Afghanistan and Iraq, and she is active in the Marine Corps’ Key Volunteer family readiness program. The idea for Hidden Homefront came to Henderson when her husband was in Iraq and a neighbor asked, “Wow, what is that like, having him in harm’s way?” Henderson says, “It hit me then, that most Americans no longer personally know what it’s like to send someone you love to war.”

Table of Contents

Welcome to the Sisterhood	p. 1
Leaving Home
The Waiting	p. 9
Uncle Sam Wants You	p. 16
Preparing for Goodbye	p. 40
Green Ramp	p. 57
The Homefront
The Knock at the Door	p. 65
Connections	p. 89
Live from Fallujah	p. 112
Different Planets	p. 121
Honorary Sisters	p. 139
Dreamland	p. 149
Pigeons in the Desert	p. 160
Hitting the Wall	p. 185
Peace Also Takes Courage	p. 206
Coming Home
Back to Green Ramp	p. 225
The War at Home	p. 252
The Real News	p. 278
The Terrible Relief	p. 292
Selected Sources	p. 305
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Chapter 1 Welcome to the Sisterhood Does it get easier?" asked Beth Pratt. She had a voice that was flat as the Midwestern Plains state she came from. She had a long, fragile neck and a willowy dancers body that drooped with sadness. She had a husband in a war zone. She was asking me because, twice already, I too had waited for my husband to come home from a war - first Afghanistan, then Iraq. I was visiting Fayetteville, North Carolina, home of the Armys Fort Bragg, when a friend said he knew a woman who needed to talk to me. He introduced me to Beth. "This is our first deployment," she said. Her eyes were wide and blue green and shadowed by her straight, dark hair. She gave me a level look before withdrawing her gaze and adding, "They say its supposed to get easier but its been four months and so far its just been hard.When does it get easier?" "Oh," I said, and the oh dragged itself into a sigh while I decided whether or not to lie. I wanted to fix it for her; I wanted to make it all right. But I knew the only thing that would make everything right would be for her husband to walk through the door right now, safe and whole in body and mind, the same man he was when he left. So in the end, I couldnt. I couldnt lie to her. When does it get easier? "It doesnt," I said. "Wartime deployments are always hard." "Dont tell me that," she said. But they are, theyre just so hard. Eventually you figure out ways to cope - or not. But they never get easy. A wartime deployment is always a mountain, no matter how you climb it. All I could do was tell her some of the climbing techniques Id relied on to help manage the fear and the loneliness, and listen to her anger and bewilderment as she climbed it now herself. When Beth left, she hugged me. And I thought, Welcome to the sisterhood. Over the course of her husbands deployment, while she was worrying about his survival, Beth Pratts own survival was hanging in the balance. Though I didnt realize it at the time - no one did - Beth had begun to think about killing herself. This is her story.I came across Marissa Bootes on the Internet. She belonged to a group of Fort Bragg wives who had formed their own private support group online. The first time I met Marissa in person, she had tied her long, dark hair in a ponytail. She was broad-shouldered and narrow-hipped in a black tanktop and black pants with a racing stripe down each leg. She looked faintly exotic and streamlined; she was moving fast. She talked fast, too. "When my husband deployed, I was working sixty-plus hours a week and suddenly taking care of our five-year-old daughter by myself, and this house, and the bills, and volunteering with the Family Readiness Group for my husbands unit -" She paused long enough to light a cigarette. "Im an overachiever." She exhaled smoke. "I was doing the Superwoman thing, I felt awesome." I was forty-two, nearly twice her age. I saw right through that smoke she was blowin

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Excerpted from While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront by Kristin Henderson
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.