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Chapter One
namaz(*)
empty pickle jars line
the bottom of the pantry
gossiping in vinegar.
they await the alchemist's blessing
eager to join the consecrated
vessels amassed above
flush with tarragon and mint
saffron and thyme.
the cupboard is a shrine
each tea tin a reliquary
every burlap rice sack a benediction.
"try this," you murmured
and laughed as I puzzled over
the red leather bulb
a fat sunburned king
with a tiny stem crown.
it was my first pomegranate.
at ten I made chai
you let me
praised me for it
though I was always the guest
always will be.
twenty thousand
casserole afternoons
a lifetime of prayer
forever on your knees
crushing lentils into paste
drying herbs on bronze platters
pressing forehead to floor
have turned your spine into limestone
and you still start from scratch
one eye on the sun
the other on me
addasi, ash reshteh, ghormeh sabzi
I have tasted your love songs.
(*) The prayer Muslims perform five times a day.
nowruz(*)
"goldfish are cheap,
dollar a dozen.
wait'll you see the rest."
I pointed to sea horses, angel fish, porcupine puffers,
"goldfish," grandma whispered, "two of them."
the shopkeeper fetched her a pair of aces,
they danced in the bowl like ochre bullion,
flashed like canary ducats. Carassius auratus .
the kind you'd expect in a picture
by the dictionary definition.
two weeks into the new year,
her nightstand bare.
" naneh ... the goldfish?"
"they had nothing to eat," she mumbled,
frowning to keep from crying.
"no one to feed them."
(*) Nowruz , literally "new day," refers to the Iranian New Year and marks the arrival of spring. Goldfish, among other things, serve as symbols of good fortune and are traditionally found in Iranian households during New Year celebrations.
dastet dard nakoneh(*)
grandma can't thread
a needle anymore,
says, "it's better I die"
as though it will happen
soon. until then,
I'll thread her needles.
(*) A Persian expression of thanks whose rough translation is "May your hand be free of pain."
yeki bud, yeki nabud(*)
what goes without saying?
ours is a history of silence,
an assemblage of garments
strung on a clothesline of
glyph glances and idle chatter.
my tongue, built of porcelain,
dams a decade of questions,
moots that have faded
like the cerulean marks
on your fingers and forehead.
I carry your image
in the book that you gave me,
sewn from your lips.
the story begins:
one was, one wasn't.
(*) Literally, "one was, one wasn't." It is the Persian equivalent of "once upon a time."
ta'rof(*)
I.
she's there again,
pouring tea leaves
onto the dew-soaked lawn,
scattering rice scraps beneath
the weeping willow.
sparrows converge,
as always.
II.
"during shortfalls, your
grandmother would fast for days,
place her portion on our plates.
each time she'd insist,
`I have eaten.'"
III.
sure as the dawn,
her first words are, " ghaza khordi? "
"have you eaten?"
as I mumble, "I have,"
naneh turns toward the kitchen
and replies, "eat again love,
eat again."
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