World's Worst Book : Over 1,000 of the Most Hilarious, Bizarre, and Disgusting Things Never Thought Of

by Heimberg, Justin

• ISBN13: 9780609806517
• ISBN10: 0609806513
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Trade Paper
• Copyright: 2002-02-01
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press

Summary

In a world that has produced New Coke, the Flowbee, and Yentl, it's hard to imagine that there are any ideas worse than the ones that have actually made it to market. But there are. The World's Worst . . . Bookis the ultimate catalog of the most inane, insane, outrageous, and just plain out-there ideas never to have hit the marketat least not yet. Only here will you find: *The World's Worst . . . Harry Potter Books(including Harry Potter and the Hired Prom Date) *The World's Worst . . . Blues Songs(including "My Kid Didn't Get into Harvard, but He Did Get into Brown, His Safety School") *The World's Worst . . . Stores(featuring Soiled Linens 'n' Things) Not to mention online haircuts, Charlotte's Web of Anti-Semitism, Salmon Chunk Ice Cream, and lots more godawful stuff.

Author Biography

Justin Heimberg is the author of the cult classic humor books <b>Would You Rather . . . ?</b> and <b>Would You Rather . . .? 2: Electric Bugaloo</b>. He is currently a screenwriter and lives in Los Angeles.

Excerpts

Introduction

It's been said that Necessity is the mother of invention. If so, Necessity sure gets around. A rather loose Necessity has in recent years spawned an overabundance of goods, services, and information available to the public. The fifteen colors of marshmallows in your cereal, the forty-five scents of deodorant available to your underarms, the thousands of computer games that can educate your children about everything from spelling to smiting--all of these reflect a society with an unquenchable thirst for newness and variety.

And yet, even with the insatiable appetite of a consumer nation, even with over two hundred cable channels with twenty-four hours of programming a day; even with labyrinthine bookstores with miles of shelf space--yes, even with the virtually infinite storage capacity of the Internet, there is a limit to the number and minimum quality level of marketable ideas.

Until now.

Bound in these pages are all the products, ideas, and services thought too inane, bizarre, unsafe, disgusting, controversial, or just generally unsuitable for public consumption. Here, fully resuscitated, are all notions and visions that were rejected somewhere between conjuration and development.

Nowhere else will you find products such as:

* Children's books like The Berenstain Bears' Non-Amicable Divorce and Where's Waldo: Korean War Photo Edition

* Reality shows including America's Most Pensive Ruminations and Who Wants to Marry Moses Malone?

* Ice cream flavors that never made it to Baskin-Robbins such as Post Nasal Drip and Ku Klux Kreme

Remember, there is nothing more inspiring than a bad idea. Now turn the page and choose your own conclusion to this introduction. World's Worst Conclusions to an Introduction

1)  And when you're done, pour some hot sauce on this baby and eat up, because this book is completely edible!
2)  And be sure to check out . . . feeling sleepy, very sleepy . . . must get antidote.
3)  But first read this forty-five-page bio of golfing great Tom Kite!
4)  Note: on the back cover, you will find a complementary bacon-strip bookmark.
5) Please do not use your hands when reading this book.
6) Oh yeah, one more thing: the Jew is using the black man as his muscle to enslave the white race.
7) This intro good for one-half chicken at Muhammad Ali's Rotisserie chicken.
8)  Who am I kidding? This is the liquor talking.

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Excerpted from The World's Worst Book: Over 1,000 of the Most Hilarious, Bizarre, and Disgusting Things Never Thought Of by Justin Heimberg
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.