Summary

Why shouldn't neighborhoods change? Why is wearing a suit a good way to quit smoking? Why do people think that if you do one thing you're against something else? Is monogamy a trick? Why should making the city more fun for you and your friends be a super-noble political goal? Why does a computer last only three years? How often should you see your parents? What do spam filters tell us about the world? How should we behave at parties? Is marriage getting easier? What do gyms say about the way we live now? Why do we sometimes feel like frauds?In short, pithy chapters ("Gentrification," "People's Protective Bubbles Are OK," "A Mind Is Not a Terrible Thing to Measure"), Misha Glouberman tells us what he has learned about life, tackling the most trivial of questions alongside the more important ones and revealing that they have more in common than you might think. From thoughts about conflict resolution in the Middle East to observations about loud music in rowdy neighborhoods, from questions on the function of spam filters to ideas on how to edit our own lives,The Chairs Are Where the People Gois an invigorating, entertaining handbook for the times we live in.

Author Biography

MISHA GLOUBERMAN is a performer, facilitator, and artist who lives in Toronto.

SHEILA HETI is the author of three books of fiction: The Middle Stories, Ticknor, and How Should a Person Be?. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, McSweeney’s, n + 1, and The Guardian. She regularly conducts interviews for The Believer.

Foreword	p. xi
People's Protective Bubbles Are Okay	p. 3
How to Make Friends in a New City	p. 4
The Uniqlo Game	p. 6
Going to the Gym	p. 7
How to Be Good at Playing Charades	p. 9
Don't Pretend There Is No Leader	p. 12
The Chairs Are Where the People Go	p. 15
How to Teach Charades	p. 17
Miscommunication Is Nice	p. 20
The Gibberish Game	p. 21
The Residents'Association	p. 23
There Are Some Games I Won't Play with My Friends	p. 36
Social Music	p. 37
Manners	p. 39
How to Improvise, and How Not to Not Improvise	p. 42
The Crazy Parts	p. 46
Charging for My Classes	p. 48
What Is a Game?	p. 50
Spam	p. 51
Margaux	p. 55
Charades Homework	p. 56
Harvard and Class	p. 59
The Rocks Game	p. 66
Some Video on the Internet	p. 68
People Who Take My Classes	p. 70
Shut Up and Listen	p. 71
Is Monogamy a Trick?	p. 72
The Conducting Game	p. 75
Sitting on the Same Side of the Table	p. 78
Seeing My Friends Drunk for the First Time	p. 81
A Decision Is a Thing You Make	p. 84
All the Games Are Meant to Solve Problems, but Problems Are Unpleasant	p. 89
Home Maladies	p. 90
Keeping Away People Who Would Be Disappointed	p. 92
The Happiness Class	p. 93
The Converge/Diverge Game	p. 98
Going to Parties	p. 101
Kensington Market	p. 103
Keeping People Quiet	p. 108
Feeling Like a Fraud	p. 110
Negotiation	p. 111
Fighting Games	p. 113
What Experimental Music Is For	p. 118
These Projects Don't Make Money	p. 119
Seeing Your Parents Once a Week	p. 122
Asking a Good Question	p. 123
A Mind Is Not a Terrible Thing to Measure	p. 125
Doing One Thing Doesn't Mean You're Against Something Else	p. 128
Get Louder or Quit	p. 129
Why Robert McKee Is Wrong About Casablanca	p. 130
Conferences Should Be an Exhilarating Experience	p. 132
Improvised Behavior	p. 139
Storytelling Is Not the Same Thing as Conversation	p. 140
Introducing People in the Classes	p. 141
Making the City More Fun for You and Your Privileged Friends Isn't a Super-Noble Political Goal	p. 143
Seeing John Zorn Play Cobra	p. 145
Impostor Syndrome	p. 148
Nimbyism	p. 149
Conducting from the Center of a Circle	p. 151
Why Noise Music?	p. 153
Absenteeism	p. 154
Failure and Games	p. 155
Why a Computer Only Lasts Three Years	p. 156
What Are These Classes For?	p. 157
Who Are Your Friends?	p. 159
Neighborhoods Change	p. 160
Atheism and Ritual	p. 162
Social Capital	p. 164
Sitting Down and Listening as a Role	p. 165
Everyone's Favorite Thing and Unfavorite Thing Are Different	p. 167
Finding an Ending	p. 168
Wearing a Suit All the Time Is a Good Way to Quit Smoking	p. 169
Acknowledgments	p. 175
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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Excerpts

1. People’s Protective Bubbles Are Okay

I hear people complain that, for instance, in this city, people don’t say hi on the street or make eye contact on the subway. And people try to remedy this problem by doing public art projects that are meant to rouse the bourgeoisie from their slumber. But that’s ridiculous! It’s perfectly reasonable for people not to want to see your dance performance when they are coming home from work. People are on the subway because they’re getting from one place to another, and for all you know, they’re coming from a job that involves interacting with lots and lots of people, and going to a home where there’s a family where they’re going to interact with lots more people. And the subway’s the one place where they can have some quiet time, get some reading done,nothave to smile,nothave to make eye contact. That’s what a city is: a city is a place where you can be alone in public, and where you have that right. It’snecessaryto screen people out. It would beoverwhelmingif you had to perceive every single person on a crowded subway car in the fullness of their humanity. It would be completely paralyzing. You couldn’t function. So don’t try to fix this. There is no problem.

Copyright © 2011 by Misha Glouberman and Sheila Heti