I Love You, Man . . . but Not Like That

Two rules of guydom: Don't share feelings with your buddies, and never compliment a pal without insulting him at the same time.I Love You Man . . . but Not Like Thatis a humorous collection of sentiments about male friendships that convey everything beer-drinking, sports-loving, macho men may want to say but never will. Most men figure, why share brotherly love when all you really want is for your buddy to share his beer? Its tongue-in-cheek, mock-heartfelt sayings are written the way men really talk.Some man-to-man expressions of friendship:Sure our friendship has passed the test of time, but could it ever pass a Breathalyzer? I often think about how much we've gone through together over the years . . . and the fact that most of it was your fault. I have to tell you, you've touched me . . . seriously. We were both really drunk, but I have a vague recollection of you touching me.Witty, emotionally distant, and universal to male friendships,I Love You Man . . . but Not Like Thatis something every man should give his buddy¿if the big loser deserves it.

D.M. Chapman has written stand-up comedy material for comedians appearing at the Improv, the Ice House, and the Laugh Factory. She is a screenwriter who is currently working on the adaptation of the British novel The Best a Man Can Get. She lives in Los Angeles.




Greg Suess is an entertainment lawyer and cofounder of ROAR, LLC, a management/production company based in Beverly Hills, Calif. He lives in Venice, Calif.