21'st Century Etiquette : Charlotte Ford's Guide to Manners for the Modern Age

by Ford, Charlotte (Author); deMontravel, Jacqueline (Author)

• ISBN13: 9780142003121
• ISBN10: 0142003123
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2003-05-01
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)

Summary

From high-speed communication to alternative lifestyles, modern life is rapidly rendering old etiquette rules obsolete. In this helpful guide, doyenne of decorum Charlotte Ford takes the mystery out of modern propriety with unstuffy, reliable advice on how to behave and skillfully solve every social conundrum. Ms. Ford tackles cell phone civility, dating and the single life, workplace propriety, dressing appropriately, entertaining, email and other correspondence, handling divorce and other life challenges; as well as everyday etiquette for the gym, smoking, tipping, and more. Readers will welcome Ms. Ford's useful advice, all of which originates in common sense and respect for others.

Author Biography

Charlotte Ford is the author of two other books and has been a contributing editor at McCall's magazine. She is active on the boards of several charitable organizations.

Jacqueline de Montravel is the editor for Country magazine and has written for The New York Times and Lucky. She was also a correspondent for Lifetime Television0.

Table of Contents

Introduction	xv
Taming Technology
Multitasking	3	(1)
E-tiquette	3	(5)
Netiquette: Chat Rooms and the Internet	8	(1)
Cyberspeak	9	(2)
Telephones, Cell Phones, and Related Accessories	11	(3)
Phone-tiquette	14	(10)
Taming Technology Quiz	24	(3)
Expert Advice: Geraldine Laybourne, of Oxygen Media	27	(3)
Everyday Courtesies
Where's the Service in Customer Service?	30	(1)
Communicating in Public Places	30	(1)
Smiling	30	(1)
How to Treat People with Disabilities	31	(2)
Being Neighborly	33	(1)
How and When to Complain	34	(1)
Road Rules	35	(1)
Giving Up Your Seat on Public Transportation	35	(1)
Giving Advice	36	(1)
Accepting Compliments	36	(1)
With Friends Like These	36	(1)
The Friend Who Rarely Commits	37	(1)
When a Friend Embarrasses You	37	(1)
Introductions	38	(1)
Shaking Hands	39	(1)
Social Kissing	39	(1)
Improper Questions	39	(1)
Evading Personal Questions	40	(1)
Taking Your Foot Out of Your Mouth	40	(1)
Chance Encounters	41	(1)
The Name Game	42	(1)
The Newlywed Woman	42	(1)
How to Address Strangers	42	(1)
Everyday Courtesies Quiz	43	(2)
Table Manners
Not at the Table	45	(1)
Napkins on Your Lap	46	(1)
The Formal Table Setting	46	(1)
There's More Than One Fork?	47	(1)
Unsanitary Service	48	(1)
Serving	48	(1)
Holding Utensils	48	(1)
Dropping Silverware	49	(1)
Holding Drinking Glasses	49	(1)
Toasts	50	(1)
Accidents at the Table	50	(1)
Tongue and Teeth	50	(1)
Food for Thought	51	(6)
Table Manners Quiz	57	(2)
Expert Advice: Robert and Margrit Mondavi, Mondavi Wines	59	(5)
Dining Right
Reciprocating Plans	64	(1)
The Customers' Rights	64	(1)
Reservations	64	(1)
Handling the Wait Staff	65	(1)
Attracting the Waiter's Attention	65	(1)
Reading the Menu	66	(1)
The Wine List	67	(1)
Giving Your Order	67	(1)
Special Orders	68	(1)
Discussing Your Diet	68	(1)
Sharing Meals	68	(1)
Table Hopping	69	(1)
No-Host Parties	69	(1)
Dining Alone	70	(1)
The Tab	70	(1)
When Someone Doesn't Pay His or Her Share	71	(1)
Tipping	71	(2)
Dining Right Quiz	73	(2)
Expert Advice: Daniel Boulud, Executive Chef/Restaurateur	75	(2)
That's Entertaining
What's to Entertain?	77	(1)
No Time to Entertain	78	(1)
Brunch	79	(1)
Tea	79	(1)
Cocktail Parties	80	(1)
Personalized Parties	80	(1)
Dinner Party Gifts	81	(1)
Arrivals	81	(1)
Uninvited Guests	81	(1)
Mingling	82	(1)
Yawning	82	(1)
A Conversation with Someone Older	83	(1)
A Conversation with Someone Younger	84	(1)
Conversations with Someone Who Has Different Interests	84	(1)
Guests and Seating	85	(1)
The Creative Table Setting	85	(1)
The Menu	86	(1)
Dinner Music	86	(1)
Dinner Conversation	87	(1)
The Awkward Pause	87	(1)
After Dinner	88	(1)
Coffee, Tea---You're Free to Leave	88	(1)
Departures	88	(2)
That's Entertaining Quiz	90	(2)
Expert Advice: Colin Cowie, Entertainment Enterpriser	92	(3)
The Houseguest
The Good Guest	95	(1)
House Rules	96	(2)
The Morning Routine	98	(1)
If It Doesn't Belong to You, It Doesn't Belong to You	98	(1)
The Extended Guest	99	(1)
Unexpected Guests	100	(1)
Time Shares	100	(1)
Pets	101	(2)
Houseguest Quiz	103	(2)
Expert Advice: Andre Balazs, Hotelier	105	(2)
Correspondence
Business Letters	107	(2)
Addressing People	109	(1)
Salutation and Closing	110	(1)
Thank-You Notes	110	(2)
Stationery	112	(1)
Invitations	113	(1)
Wedding Invitations	113	(1)
RSVPs	113	(1)
Letters of Complaint	113	(3)
Holiday Cards	116	(1)
Letters of a Personal Nature	117	(1)
Condolence Letters	117	(2)
Replies to Condolence Letters	119	(2)
Correspondence Quiz	121	(2)
Expert Advice: Helen Gurley Brown, Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan international editions, Author of The Writer's Rules, and Devoted Correspondent	123	(3)
Single Process
No Time to Date	126	(1)
What About The Book of Rules?	127	(1)
Asking Someone Out	127	(1)
Guess Who's Paying for Dinner	128	(2)
Brokering the Blind Date	130	(1)
Dating in the Workplace	130	(1)
Dating During a Divorce	131	(1)
Suddenly Unattached	132	(1)
Older Men, Younger Women	132	(1)
Older Women, Younger Men	133	(1)
The Single Target	134	(1)
Breaking Up	135	(1)
Let's Be Friends	136	(1)
Getting Back Together	136	(1)
My Place or Yours?	137	(1)
When You Don't Approve of Your Friend's Relationship	138	(2)
Single Process Quiz	140	(3)
In Living Matrimony
The Prenup	143	(2)
Sharing	145	(1)
Decorating Together	145	(1)
Redecorating with a Spouse Who Was Previously Married	146	(1)
Sharing Closets	147	(1)
Sharing a Bathroom	147	(1)
Sharing a Bed	148	(1)
Sharing Finances	149	(1)
Different Sets of Friends	150	(1)
The In-laws	150	(1)
Holidays	151	(2)
In Living Matrimony Quiz	153	(1)
Expert Advice: Cokie Roberts, Political Commentator	153	(5)
Family Matters
The Importance of Time	158	(1)
The Dinner Table	158	(1)
What Every Kid Should Know at the Table	159	(1)
New Mommy Etiquette	160	(1)
Mommy and Me Classes	160	(1)
Sharing	160	(1)
The Only Child	161	(1)
Sibling Rivalry	161	(1)
Dealing with a Bully	162	(1)
Taking Your Kids to Public Places	163	(1)
Tantrums in Public Places	163	(1)
Parents Who Reprimand Their Children in Public Places	164	(1)
Parents Who Fight in Front of Their Children	164	(1)
The Quick Fix	165	(1)
Discipline	165	(1)
Responsibility	166	(1)
Teaching Your Children About Death	166	(1)
Swearing and Naughty Words	167	(1)
The Nanny Factor	167	(1)
Gay Parenting	168	(1)
Single Parenting	168	(1)
Divorced Parenting	169	(1)
Family Matters Quiz	170	(4)
Tuning Teen Etiquette
Kids Today	174	(1)
Overly Involved Parents	174	(1)
Teens and the Internet	175	(1)
Teens and the Telephone	175	(1)
Swearing Among Teens	176	(1)
When Your Child's Friend Is Rude	176	(1)
The Problem Friend	176	(1)
Embarrassing Your Kids	177	(1)
Teens and Trends	177	(1)
Makeup	178	(1)
Borrowing the Car	178	(1)
Establishing a Curfew	179	(1)
Teens and Substance Abuse	179	(1)
Drugs and Alcohol at Parties	180	(1)
Dating	181	(1)
The Sex Talk	181	(2)
The Teen and Financial Responsibility	183	(1)
The Teen's First Job Interview	183	(1)
The College Interview	184	(2)
Tuning Teen Etiquette Quiz	186	(3)
Etiquette During Life's Challenges
Handling Tragedy	189	(1)
How to Handle Other People's Tragedy	190	(1)
Separation/Divorce	190	(1)
Whom and Whom to Tell	191	(1)
New Partner, New Kids	191	(1)
Gossip	192	(1)
Private Problems That Become Public	192	(1)
Losing a Job	193	(1)
Facing Illness	194	(1)
How to Treat People with Illnesses	194	(1)
Hospital Etiquette	194	(1)
Suicide	195	(1)
Notice of Death	196	(1)
Funerals	197	(1)
When There Are No Right Words	197	(2)
Etiquette During Life's Challenges Quiz	199	(1)
Expert Advice: Eddie McGee, Big Brother Winner	200	(3)
Dress Code
Finding Your Style	203	(2)
Dressing the Part	205	(1)
Dressing for the Job Interview	205	(1)
Dressing in Today's Workplace	206	(1)
Creating a Dependable Wardrobe	207	(2)
Religious Services	209	(1)
Funerals	209	(1)
Holidays	210	(1)
Weddings	210	(1)
What's Black Tie?	211	(2)
Dress Code Quiz	213	(2)
Expert Advice: Kate Spade, Designer	215	(2)
Propriety in the Workplace
The Job Interview	217	(2)
General Office Decorum	219	(1)
How to Be Boss-y	219	(1)
The Office Peon	220	(1)
Getting Coffee	221	(1)
Under Pressure	222	(1)
Encouraging Words	222	(1)
Working with Your Assistant	223	(1)
Office Mentor	223	(1)
Keeping Someone Waiting	224	(1)
Office Complaints	224	(1)
Discussing Salary in the Workplace	224	(1)
Personal Life in a Professional Environment	225	(1)
Sexual Harassment	225	(1)
At Home at Work	226	(1)
Christmas Presents	227	(1)
When You Receive an Unexpected Gift	228	(1)
Business Functions	228	(1)
Mingling	229	(1)
Handling Business Cards	230	(1)
Exiting Gracefully	230	(2)
Propriety in the Workplace Quiz	232	(3)
Financial Manners
Spending Wisely	235	(1)
Friends Suddenly Coming into Money	236	(1)
Living Beyond Your Means	236	(1)
Friends and Money	237	(1)
Trading Stocks	238	(1)
Tipping	239	(3)
Holiday Tipping	242	(1)
Travel	243	(3)
Financial Matters Quiz	246	(2)
Expert Advice: Terry Savage, Financial Expert	248	(3)
Travel Protocol
Travel Smart, Travel Safe	251	(1)
How to Dress and Pack	252	(1)
Automobiles	253	(1)
Cruises	253	(1)
Boats	254	(1)
Accommodations	254	(1)
Tipping in Foreign Countries	255	(1)
Traveling with a Friend	255	(1)
Traveling with Small Children	256	(1)
Cultural Differences	256	(1)
Taking Photographs	257	(1)
Bargaining	257	(1)
Major Setbacks	258	(2)
Travel Protocol Quiz	260	(2)
Expert Advice: Chris Blackwell, Chairman of Island Outpost	262	(4)
Every Other Day Etiquette
Household Help	266	(1)
The Baby-sitter	267	(1)
Automated Teller Machines	267	(1)
Foul Weather Behavior	267	(1)
Dry Cleaners	268	(1)
Spectator Sports	269	(1)
Parents and Their Child's Sporting Competitions	269	(1)
Good Sportsmanship	269	(1)
Skiers Versus Snowboarders	270	(1)
Gym Etiquette	271	(2)
Smoking	273	(1)
Treating Panhandlers	273	(1)
Birthdays	273	(1)
Gift Giving	274	(1)
Every Other Day Etiquette Quiz	275	(4)
Index	279