Acts of Disclosure: The Coming-Out Process of Contemporary Gay Men

by Vargo; Marc E

• ISBN13: 9780789002365
• ISBN10: 0789002361
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 1998-03-23
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Confronting the psychological, social, sexual, legal, and political issues at stake in the coming-out process, Acts of Disclosure: The Coming-Out Process of Contemporary Gay Men uses research findings and first-hand accounts to help gay adolescents and men accept and embrace their sexual identity as an integral part of their being. Offering helpful advice and specific suggestions that will guide you through the coming-out process, this text also teaches family, friends, and colleagues how they can support and encourage you in this challenge. A roadmap through the confusing process of coming to terms with your sexuality both privately and publicly, Acts of Disclosure walks you step-by-step through the stages of coming out, the emotions involved, the potential pitfalls, and the kinds of receptions you may meet. It points out both healthy and self-destructive coping strategies and teaches you how to take responsibility for your sexuality. You will find its discussions straightforward, honest, and direct, as it broaches the following topics: coming out in American schools expressing your sexual identity on the job the harmful effects of involuntary public exposure why some parents adjust better than others to the fact that they have a gay child the damaging effects of social myths attached to homosexuality the emotional and behavioral reactions wives have after discovering that their husbands are gay how to anticipate a possible "outing" against oneself and the advantages of coming out to prevent such an act compulsory social programming that may be deeply injurious to gay adolescents disclosing your sexual identity after the onset of AIDS Gay males of all ages, parents, friends, children, therapists, psychologists, social workers, and educators who read Acts of Disclosure will realize their error in treating gay sexual identity as undesirable, shameful, or second-rate. As you turn the last page of this comprehensive and enlightening book, you will likely find yourself with an appreciation of gay male sexuality as well as with a better understanding of the complexities of human nature.

Author Biography

Marc E. Vargo, MS, is a staff member in the Department of Psychology at Hammond Developmental Center in Hammond, Louisiana

Table of Contents

Foreword	ix	(6)
Rep. Barney Frank
Introduction	xv
Chapter 1. The Coming-Out Process	1	(36)
The Origins of Homosexuality	2	(5)
Stage 1: The Pre-Coming-Out Years	7	(15)
Stage 2: Coming Out to Oneself	22	(5)
Stage 3: Exploration and Experimentation	27	(3)
Stage 4: Coming Out to Others	30	(2)
Stage 5: Commitment and Integration	32	(2)
Suggestions	34	(3)
Chapter 2. The Family Sphere: Gay Sons, Husbands, and Fathers	37	(46)
Reasons for Not Telling the Family	38	(7)
Telling One's Parents	45	(13)
Telling One's Wife	58	(13)
Telling One's Children	71	(8)
Suggestions	79	(4)
Chapter 3. The Professional Sphere: Coming Out in the Workplace	83	(36)
Elementary and Secondary Education	84	(8)
The Sciences	92	(4)
Business and Industry	96	(12)
The Military	108	(6)
Current Trends	114	(2)
Suggestions	116	(3)
Chapter 4. The Public Sphere: Managing Widespread Exposure	119	(20)
The Public Crucible	119	(1)
Outing and Its Effects	120	(10)
The Decision to Go Public	130	(7)
Suggestions	137	(2)
Appendix. Coming-Out Resources	139	(8)
The Family	139	(1)
The Workplace	140	(2)
HIV Prevention and Treatment	142	(1)
Legal Concerns	142	(2)
Religious Issues	144	(3)
Notes	147	(6)
Bibliography	153	(6)
Index	159