An Allowance Is Not a Bribe And Other Helpful Hints for Raising Responsible Jewish Children

by Gonsher, Allan M.

• ISBN13: 9780765761330
• ISBN10: 0765761335
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2000-10-01
• Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc.

Summary

In recent years, many books have been published on the topic of Jewish parenting. What sets this book apart from others is the powerful message of its author, Allan Gonsher, who is an experienced family therapist with the dual perspective of a practicing

Table of Contents

Foreword: The Jewish Journey	xi
Parenting Jewishly	xi
Your Jewish Journey	xv
Part One	1	(148)
Parenting 101	3	(24)
Parents, Children, and God	5	(1)
Preteens Will Challenge	6	(6)
Agreement and Disagreement	12	(3)
Parents Are Role Models	15	(1)
Strive for ``Inner Tranquility''	16	(2)
Give Undivided Attention	18	(1)
Maintain a Sense of Humor	19	(1)
Know What's Appropriate	20	(2)
Relationships beyond the Home	22	(1)
Honor Thy Parents	23	(2)
Things to Consider	25	(1)
Endnotes	25	(2)
An Allowance Is Not a Bribe	27	(8)
Doing Their Share	29	(2)
Spending or Saving	31	(2)
Things to Consider	33	(1)
Endnote	34	(1)
No, Because I Said So	35	(10)
Things to Consider	42	(1)
Endnotes	43	(2)
School Is Children's Work	45	(16)
The Parent's role	46	(1)
A Case for Day School	47	(4)
Public School and the Jewish Child	51	(2)
Public School Can Cause Conflict	53	(2)
Developing Good Work Habits	55	(2)
When Special Needs Exist	57	(1)
Things to Consider	58	(1)
Endnote	59	(2)
How About after School and Summers?	61	(14)
Activities and Jewishness	63	(2)
Synagogue-based Activities	65	(1)
Avoid ``Overload''	66	(2)
During the summer	68	(1)
``48-Hour Phenomenon''	69	(3)
Things to Consider	72	(1)
Endnote	73	(2)
Making & Keeping Friends	75	(12)
Influence Isn't Interference	77	(2)
Socializing Jewishly	79	(2)
Cooperation Is Vital	81	(2)
Boy-Girl Relationships	83	(2)
Things to Consider	85	(1)
Endnotes	86	(1)
Those Awful Four-Letter Words	87	(10)
Stopping Offensive Language	90	(1)
Language Is a Tool	91	(3)
Things to consider	94	(1)
Endnotes	95	(2)
When Siblings Can't Get Along	97	(20)
Sibling Rivalry Is Age-old	99	(4)
Feelings Aren't Always Equal	103	(3)
Consistency Is Key	106	(1)
Inescapable Resentments	107	(2)
Siblings in a Jewish Home	109	(1)
Resolving Sibling Conflicts	110	(4)
Things to Consider	114	(1)
Endnotes	115	(2)
Why Are Chores/Mitzvot Such a Chore?	117	(12)
believing ``Some'', Doing ``Some''	120	(4)
``4Bs'' to Responsibility	124	(4)
Things to Consider	128	(1)
Mad, Sad, and Glad	129	(10)
As for Little Girls	131	(4)
``Glads'' May Be Easier	135	(2)
Things to Consider	137	(1)
Endnotes	138	(1)
Generation to Generation	139	(10)
Adolescence: Ups & Downs	143	(2)
The Bar and Bat Mitzvah	145	(1)
Things to Consider	146	(3)
Part Two	149	(58)
Introduction	151	(4)
Coping with Divorce	155	(18)
Breakdown Comes First	156	(4)
A Jewish Perspective on Divorce	160	(1)
Custody and Visitation	161	(4)
New Parental Roles	165	(3)
Dating Again after Divorce	168	(2)
Things to Consider	170	(1)
Endnotes	171	(2)
Coping with Death	173	(18)
``Doing Well Phenomenon''	179	(5)
Decisions about Ritual	184	(4)
Things to Consider	188	(3)
Kids with Special Needs	191	(8)
The Parent As Advocate	193	(2)
Educational Issues	195	(2)
Things to Consider	197	(1)
Endnotes	198	(1)
When and How to Choose a Therapist	199	(8)
Epilogue	207	(2)
Index	209