Altar Ego

by Lette, Kathy

• ISBN13: 9780688171452
• ISBN10: 0688171451
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 1999-09-26
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publications

Summary

Self-proclaimed "new feminist" Becky Steele holds the Girls Night Out record for the shortest amount of time between meeting a man and going to bed with him. So why is she getting married? And would it be a serious breach of etiquette to "excuse" herself from her own wedding? Uncertain of either answer, Becky jilts her fiance at the altar and embarks on a wild affair with a young rap star. Complications arise, however, when her ex-fiance winds up representing the rapper in an obscene lyrics suit. Sex, lies, and relationship angst play out to hilarious consequences in this absolutely fabulous, absolutely sexy, comic novel -- perfect for fans of HBO's Sex and the City -- by one of Australia's most exciting and hilarious young writers.

Table of Contents

PART ONE The Wedding
I Do	3	(8)
I Don't	11	(22)
The Undress Rehearsal	33	(4)
Send In The Crones	37	(15)
Bridesmaid Revisited	52	(10)
Posh Frock, No Knickers	62	(7)
A Lick And A Promise	69	(10)
Yodelling In The Canyon Of Love	79	(4)
Raw Emotion	83	(16)
Resting On Your Orals	99	(5)
Eating The Arm Candy	104	(8)
How Many Rock Stars Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? One: Rock Stars Will Screw Anything	112	(5)
How To Have An Affair. A Beginner's Guide	117	(9)
Courtus Interruptus	126	(13)
The Mourning After The Knot Before	139	(4)
To Love, Honour And Betray	143	(9)
The Fountain Of Age	152	(11)
We Interrupt This Marriage To Bring You A News Bulletin	163	(8)
PART TWO The Affair
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - But Dividing The Book Collection? Unbearable	171	(10)
The Trophy Bonk	181	(10)
How Gauche It With You?	191	(7)
Welcome To Tonsil-Town!	198	(9)
Liberated, Hip, Post-Feminist...? Or Amoral Slut? Defend Your Answer	207	(8)
Better Latent Than Never	215	(7)
Warning. The Following Sexual Positions Are Not For Amateurs. Do Not Try This In Your Own Home	222	(9)
The Dark Side Of The Tune	231	(8)
Till Divorce Us Do Part	239	(7)
Survival Of The Hippest	246	(9)
I'm Not Pleased To See You - It's A Gun In My Pocket	255	(6)
I Waxed My Bikini Line For This?	261	(10)
PART THREE The Divorce
An Impediment Of Reach	271	(7)
Remembrance Of Flings Past	278	(6)
Nocturnal Omission	284	(5)
Cross My Legs And Hope To Die	289	(8)
The Three Of Us Make A Really Good Pair	297	(10)
Ping! There Go Those Elastic Morals Again!	307	(5)
Laugh? I Almost Died	312	(5)
Not The Full Matinee Jacket	317	(7)
I'm Not Waving	324	(6)
For Sale. One Husband. Has Had Only One Careful Lady Owner	330	(9)
A Pina Colada, A Non-stick Wok And Thou	339