What is included with this book?
Foreword | p. 1 |
Introduction | p. 3 |
Really Important Maps | p. 9 |
America and Canada: Continental BFFS | p. 15 |
Timeline of U.S.-Canadian History | p. 17 |
Grok the Vote: Campaign Reform for Idiots | p. 20 |
Making English the Official Language for Native English Speakers | p. 25 |
Combining Our Cities: Welcome to Van Francisco, Dirty Hippie Capital of the World! | p. 27 |
Understanding Hockey, from the Country That Gave You Football and Basketball | p. 30 |
The Cameron Plan: America in 3D | p. 34 |
How to Say You're Sorry without Looking like a Total Pussy | p. 38 |
It's a Small World (Unless You're Liechtenstein) | p. 45 |
American Exceptionalism, or How to Make Other Countries Feel Bad about Their Bodies | p. 47 |
Killing with Kindness, Torturing with Tenderness | p. 50 |
Weaponizing Politeness: Fight like a Canadian! | p. 53 |
Showing Nature Who's Boss | p. 58 |
Un-American Idol: How Reality Shows Can Stop Illegal Immigration | p. 64 |
A Simple Solution for Integrating Our Indigenous Peoples | p. 67 |
The Metric System: Exactly Ten Times More Awesome Than Imperial Units | p. 67 |
The Irony of Being Ironic in a Post-Ironic Age | p. 73 |
The Elitist Scourge: How to Hate People Who Are Better Than You | p. 75 |
Citizens Divided: People Are Now Corporations | p. 78 |
Thoughts on Relieving America's Sexual Tension | p. 81 |
The Question of: a) Education | p. 85 |
Health Care: More Than Just a Dental Plan for Hockey Players | p. 89 |
Helping Children Determine Their Value as Future Americans | p. 91 |
Obesity: Big Thoughts on Big People | p. 96 |
All We Are Saying Is Give Guns a Chance | p. 99 |
Crime and Punishment, and then Crime Again | p. 101 |
Treating Experts like Mammals: An Ideological Throwdown! | p. 105 |
Grandpa Lost His Shins in the Big One: Our Statute of Limitations on Living Off Other People's Sacrifices | p. 107 |
What to Do with "the Gays" | p. 110 |
You Are NOT the Father! Abstinence-Only Education and the Rise of Immaculate Conceptions | p. 113 |
Media Libs | p. 115 |
Weed. Sweet, Sweet Weed | p. 118 |
The Constitution, Annotated | p. 118 |
Science vs. Religion (Spoiler: Science Wins in Overtime!) | p. 123 |
Living in Fear: The War of the Words | p. 126 |
Some Handy Tear-Out Application Forms | p. 233 |
Canadian Glossary | p. 143 |
Acknowledgments | p. 149 |
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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