Any Man Of Mine

by Carolyne Aarsen

• ISBN13: 9780373812691
• ISBN10: 0373812698
• Edition: Large
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-07-01
• Publisher: Steeple Hill

Summary

Living with three brothers has taught me what I don't want in a husband. "Guys" who can only converse about farming, welding and hockey won't cut it. And those who prefer a rodeo to a symphony or dusty jeans to a nice suit are not for me.

Unfortunatel

Excerpts

"If I have to bounce one more quarter off of one more set of abs -- " I hefted two four-liter jugs of homogenized milk onto the conveyor belt of the grocery store with a grunt" -- punch one more stomach -- " I followed it with two jumbo-sized boxes of breakfast cereal " -- trip...over...one...more...saddle -- " punctuating each word with bags of chips, peanuts and sunflower seeds " -- I am going to throw an old-fashioned, fully feminine hissy fit." I glared at Tracy, who stood behind me in the line at the cash register, daring her to deny me my well-earned pique."Just make sure you hit high C on the scream," was all Tracy said.As my best friend, Tracy would feign sympathy with my rants against my brothers, but I knew her heart was never fully engaged. From the first day she had come to stay overnight at the ranch and had been bombarded with my brother's spitballs as she came into the kitchen, my dad's booming voice yelling at her to come on in and join us for dinner and my mom's yelling at him to stop yelling, Tracy had fallen head over heels in love with my family."I still can't figure out why thirty-one-, twenty-nine-and twenty-five-year-old guys would still want to live at home," I continued, still venting. It was Tuesday morning, the second day in a week that had started badly yesterday. Today wasn't looking so good, either.The flat tire I'd had on the way to work didn't help, nor did the fact that I'd had to change it wearing high heels and a narrow skirt on the side of a quiet gravel road."You still live at home and you're twenty-seven," Tracy pointed out."At least I, at one time, had plans to move out." I allowed a flicker of self-pity to creep into my voice."How is your dad?""The doctor said that it will be a few weeks before he's back to normal and that often people suffer deep depression after a heart attack. So I'm still hoping and praying."Four weeks ago, my dad, Arnold Hem-stead, had collapsed at the auction mart and had been rushed to the hospital. He was diagnosed with a cardiac infarction, spent ten days in the hospital and came home to three very worried sons. And me.Neil, Chip and Jace hovered, helped and catered to my dad for thirty-six minutes, knowing that the overresponsible Danielle Hemstead -- aka me -- would take over, then they went back to their welding, fixing and farming."I caught a glimmer of my old dad the other day," I continued. "He's getting more interested in what's happening at the farm. He asked me if I was going to unload bales for Jace next week.""Are you?"I dismissed her comment with an exasperated eye-roll."Okay, I'm guessing that's no." Tracy picked up one of the magazines lined up by the counter. "Hey, here's something just for you. Is the male in your life a man or a guy? Take the quiz and find out.""Guy, guy, guy and absolutely guy.""Okay, I sense we're not done with the sisterly pique yet." Tracy straightened the magazine and tilted me a grin. "So, of your dad and brothers, who rates the last outburst."Growing up with three brothers who reveled in their "guyness" gave me lots of ranting fodder, but Tracy often took their side. Other than a frequently absent mother, Tracy had grown up on her own. The noise and busyness in our house was a welcome change for her and she enjoyed it. She had come back to Preston out of choice. I came back because it was one of the only decent places I could get a job in my chosen field of social work. There had been government cutbacks, and while I would have preferred to work in Edmonton, Calgary, Red Deer or any of the larger Canadian cities, Preston was a good option. Besides, I could live at home cheaply, which helped me pay off my student loans and get a decent savings account, aka "escape" account, started."Chip. Hands down or up in the air while he's flexing his lateral deltoids." I sighed. "And don't I sound like I know too much about that."I handed the cashi