Before Their Time

by Stimming, Mary T.

• ISBN13: 9781566396554
• ISBN10: 1566396557
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1998-12-14
• Publisher: Temple Univ Pr

Summary

Before Their Time is the first work to present adult children survivors' (defined as eighteen or above at the time of the parent's death) accounts of their loss, grief, and resolution following a parent's suicide. In one section, the book offers the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of mothers; in another, the perspectives of sons and daughters on the deaths of fathers. In a third section, four siblings reflect on the shared loss of their mother.Each of these survivors faces the common difficulties associated with losing a loved one by suicide. They also experience difficulties specific to their status as both adult and child. Topics such as the impact of the parent's suicide on adult children's personal and professional choices, marriages and parenting, sibling and surviving parent relationships are explored with sensitivity and insight. Various coping skills, including humor, are described.The writers describe feelings of regret and responsibility related to their parent's suicide. They express concern about other family members' vulnerability to suicide. They speak openly about the fears and stresses they face and how they cope with them.The authors ranged in age from nineteen to thirty-six at the time of the parent's death. Between one and twenty-five years have passed since that tragedy.In addition to the first-person narratives, the book includes a resource section with a national listing of suicide survivor support groups; an overview of existing research on survivors of suicide by John L. McIntosh, past president of the American Association of Suicidology; and an essay on elderly suicide by David C. Clark, secretary-general, International Association for Suicide, and editor-in-chief of Crisis. The book is introduced with a Foreword by Rev. Charles Rubey, founder and director of Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide. Author note: Mary Stimming, Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Dominican University, gives lectures and workshops on suicide and religion. >P>Maureen Stimming, Associate Director of Career Services at Chicago-Kent College of Law, served as a therapist in a residential mental health treatment center before completing graduate studies in psychology. Prior to her work at Kent, she served as a counselor in the Chicago parochial school system.

Table of Contents

Foreword	xiii
Rev. Charles T. Rubey
Preface	xvii
Acknowledgments	xxvii
Section I: Loss of a Mother
Daughters
A Joyful Spirit	3	(4)
Treva Gordon
Home and Beyond	7	(8)
Stephanie Weber
Center Piece	15	(4)
Kimberley Garnhart
Changes of Direction	19	(2)
Marcia Angelos
Sons
Caretaking	21	(4)
Doug Battema
The Prodigal Son Diaries	25	(11)
Todd Tobias
Crossroads	36	(4)
Tom Dalton
Range of Vision	40	(6)
Mark Stringer
Intermezzo
Grandchildren	46	(2)
Suicide as Family Destiny?	48	(5)
Section II: Loss of a Father
Daughters
Old at Heart	53	(3)
Heather Zuzick
Growing toward the Light	56	(22)
Wanda Ford-Petrevics
A Saving Curse	78	(5)
Suzanne Gardner
I Will Not Die of Regret: A Letter to My Father	83	(9)
Greacian Goeke
Sons
Of Fathers and Sons	92	(3)
John F.
The Process of Cultivating	95	(6)
Paul J.
Flying Lessons	101	(5)
James A. Gessner
Intermezzo
Professional Life	106	(1)
Life without a Parent	107	(4)
Section III: Perspectives on a Common Loss
Daughters
Uncommon Grace	111	(12)
Mary Stimming
Endings and Beginnings	123	(10)
Maureen Stimming
Sons
It's the Story of a Lovely Lady	133	(7)
Christopher Stimming
What Life Has to Offer	140	(5)
Joseph Stimming
Section IV: Research and Resources
The Puzzle of Suicide in Late Life	145	(12)
David C. Clark
Research on Survivors of Suicide	157	(24)
John L. McIntosh
Selected Annotated Bibliography	181	(2)
Directory of Suicide Survivor Support Groups	183	(8)
Index	191