Being Pregnant is Like Having Company for Nine Months And 174 Other Laughs (Because You'll Need Them) for the Mom to Be

by Perret, Linda; Perret, Gene; Eastburn, Adam

• ISBN13: 9781944822873
• ISBN10: 1944822879
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2017-04-04
• Publisher: Familius

Summary

From the moment you hear you’re going to be a mother, you’ll enter into a brand new world that you never imagined. Your daily tasks will be consumed with complex engineering (trying to figure out how to buckle your child’s car seat), counseling (healing emotional stress caused by endless boo-boos), learning a foreign language (Braxton-Hicks, teething ring, nasal aspirator, and onesie, just to name a few), and nighttime navigating (Do you remember what 3 a.m. looks like? If not, you will!)

This humorous look at the journey through motherhood will keep you laughing and crying at the greatest adventure you’ll ever take.  

Author Biography

Linda Perret followed in her father's funny footsteps and has been involved in various aspects of comedy writing since she sold her first professional joke in 1990.

Today, Linda supplies one-liners and comedy bits for ventriloquist Terry Fator and his cast of characters who perform at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas at the Terry Fator Theatre, and around the country.

She has supplied material to Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, Yakov Smirnoff, Jimmie Walker, and other stand-up comics. She's written comedy for the business world, adding a touch of humor to executive speeches and a little bit of fun to corporate award ceremonies.

Linda was a staff writer for the television special celebrating Hope's 90th birthday, "Bob Hope -The First 90 Years" That show won an Emmy Award for "Best Musical Variety Show," and Linda and her fellow staff writers were nominated for a Writer's Guild Award for their work on that script.

She has cowritten two collections of business jokes published by Prentice Hall - Funny Business and Bigshots, Pip-squeaks, and Windbags. She is the author of HMO's, Home Remedies and Other Medical Jokes. Her material has been quoted in Reader's Digest, the National Enquirer, and Arizona Highways.

Gene Perret has been a professional comedy writer since the early 1960s, writing stand-up material for Slappy White and Phyllis Diller, among others. He began in television in 1968 on The Beautiful Phyllis Diller Show. He wrote for Laugh-In and collected three Emmys as a staff writer on The Carol Burnett Show. Gene was on Bob Hope's writing staff for twenty-eight years, the last twelve as Hope's head writer. He traveled with the Hope troupe to several of the Christmas shows from war zones. He produced Welcome Back Kotter, Three's Company, and The Tim Conway Show. Today, he lives in Southern California and teaches email classes in comedy writing. His hobbies include painting, sketching, and playing the guitar. He paints rather well and sketches adequately, but you don't want to listen to his guitar playing. No one does.

Adam Eastburn is an up-and-coming artist from California. By day, he is a graphic and motion designer; by night, an illustrator and animator. Adam and his wife, Denise, enjoy travel and James Bond flicks. Find more of his work at adameastburn.net.

Table of Contents

• If men had the babies, the words “sister” and “brother” would have become obsolete long ago.
• You can’t rush a pregnancy. In fact, when you’re pregnant, you can’t even rush getting in and out of a car.
• All pregnant women must realize: there’s no such thing as a maternity bikini.
• Though I’m pregnant, I still have a compact figure. I look like a Volkswagen.
• Pregnancy can be trying for nine long months, but you’re rewarded with a trophy you will love forever.
• During pregnancy your body goes through some drastic changes and some of them are pretty scary. Like when you open your mouth and your mother’s voice comes out.
• In a few short months, you’ll have a little baby around the house to take care of . . . other than the one you married.
• If pregnancy was all fun and games, men would have created a fantasy league to go along with it.