Birthday Book of Saints : Your Powerful Personal Patrons for Every Blessed Day of the Year

by KELLY, SEANROGERS, ROSEMARY

• ISBN13: 9780375757761
• ISBN10: 0375757767
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2001-10-01
• Publisher: Villard

Summary

That special date the most important day in all the year, your birthday just happens to be the authorized, worldwide, time-honored Feast of an honest-to-God Saintoor even a heavenly host of Saints! Never mind astrology. Forget numerology. The true significance of your date of birth is obviously determined by the character of your Patron Saints those heroes and heroines of the Faith whose fabulous lives and miraculous deeds this blessed book reveals, in convenient calendar format! ButThe Birthday Book of Saintsis not merely a compulsively accurate, fanatically researched, up-to-date, day-by-day listing of their Feasts. It also religiously details each Saint's particularPatronage: his or her divinely assigned, eternal interest in such earthly matters as jobs, hobbies, crises, medical problems, neuroses, and lifestyles. (Everyone knows that Saint Patrick looks after the Irish, and Saint Valentine loves lovers--but wait till you meet Saint Germaine Cousine, Patron Saint of unattractive people, and Saint Eugene de Mazenod, the Patron of dysfunctional families.) And theyire all out there just waiting to help you. But wait. There's more! The Birthday Book of Saintsalso reveals, at no additional cost, your Other Birthday the annual Feast of your Name Saint, on which you are entitled to throw yourself a huge party, during which the unpleasant subject of age never comes up! Profusely illustrated with fine art, kitsch, icons, photographs, movie stills, and drawings,The Birthday Book of Saintsarrives just in time to provide spiritual nourishment for the faithful and faithless in the new millennium.

Author Biography

Sean Kelly left teaching to edit the <i>National Lampoon</i>. Going from bad to worse, he now writes books (e.g., <b>Boom Baby Moon</b>) and television shows (e.g., Between the Lions). He lives in Brooklyn, New York, a loyal Canadian exile and practicing ex-Catholic.<br><br>Rosemary Rogers is the co-author of Saints Preserve Us!, <b>Who in Hell . . . </b>, <b>How to Be Irish (Even If You Already Are)</b>, <b>Boomer Babes</b>, and the <b>How to Be Irish 2001 Calendar</b>. She lives in Manhattan and always wears a Saint medal.

Excerpts

Chapter 1

January 1

1. the feast of the circumcision

Since he was born of observant Jews, the newborn Christ Child was, "after eight days," according to the Gospel of Saint Luke, genitally mutilated. Saints Jerome and Bernard concur that the surgery was performed by none other than His Virgin Mother Mary, and that this ritual bloodshed was the first of her Seven Sorrows. In after years the Divine Foreskin was a much-prized relic, once bestowed by Angels upon the Emperor Charlemagne; a reliquary jar said to contain it still is venerated at a parish church in Calcata, Italy.

the feast of saint clarus

Obscure French prelate, 660

Patron of the shortsighted; invoked against myopia * (emblem: abbot appeasing a flooded river)

This humble French monk was so holy that he was appointed spiritual director of the convent in which his own widowed mother was a nun. Despite the many miracles attributed to Clarus, it is because of his name, which in Latin means "clear," that his heavenly aid is sought by those whose vision isn't.

the feast of saint odilo

Homely but zealous abbot of Cluny, 1049

Invoked against jaundice * (emblem: monk, a skull at his feet)

An authority both spiritual and temporal, Odilo instituted the Feast of All Souls-a sort of Unknown Saints' Day-as well as the Truce of God, by which local warlords were obliged to refrain from hostilities on weekends. Odilo was especially devoted to the Blessed Virgin, through whose intercession he had, as an infant, been cured of an excess of the bile pigment bilirubin.

Also: The Feast of Saint Peter of Atroa, among whose gifts was the ability to make himself invisible, 837; and Saint Telemachus, who leapt into the arena and put an end to gladiatorial contests, c. 400.

2. the feast of saint

adelard

Retired French politician-abbot, 827

Patron of gardeners * (emblem: spade)

Like his cousin Charlemagne, the monk Adelard (aka Adalhard) was a grandson of Charles "the Hammer of God" Martel-that is, a member of proto-French royalty. Renowned for his learning-he wrote in Latin, French, and German-he was often summoned to the Carolingian court as an adviser, and invariably banished for the advice he gave. His final exile was to Corbie, in far-off Normandy, where he enthusiastically took up horticulture.

the feast of saint basil the great

Patriarch, Doctor of the Church, 379

Patron of hospital administrators, Russia * (emblem: a heavenly hand offering him a pen)

Born in present-day Turkey into a very religious family-both his parents, two of his brothers, and a sister are canonized Catholic Saints-Basil studied in Athens, where he was a classmate of the future infamous emperor Julian the Apostate. As bishop of Caesarea, Basil was a fearless foe of imperial heresy and a tireless CEO, establishing and administering a vast complex of churches, hospitals, and orphanages known as Basiliad. The rule he created for monastic living is followed to this day in the Eastern (Russian and Greek Orthodox) Church, and he is still highly revered in Russia; his personality-generous, eloquent, shrewd, and pigheaded-appeals to the Russian soul.

the feast of saint gregory of nazianzen

Son of a bishop, Doctor of the Church, 390

Patron of fruitfulness, poets * (emblem: book)

An eloquent preacher and brilliant theologian, Gregory was a most reluctant administrator, and prone to nervous breakdowns. Of a shy and retiring nature-he wanted to be a monk-he was constantly conscripted by his boyhood friend Saint Basil into the battle against the Arian heresy. In retirement he composed a long and tedious autobiography in verse.

the feast of saint macarius the younger

Ex-confectioner, desert hermit, 408

Patron of pastry cooks * (emblem: monk, hyena and its young beside him)

A cake maker and sugar-plum merchant in Alexandria, Macarius suffered a midlife crisis in 335 and fled to the desert, there to spend the next sixty years in penitential basket weaving. His diet consisted only of uncooked beans-except during the fast days of Lent, when it was reduced to a few cabbage leaves. Racked with guilt over killing a fly, he permitted insects to bite him unmolested. Macarius considered nursing in hospitals to be grandstanding in the guise of charity, but once went to the trouble of curing a blind hyena.

Also: The Feast of Saint Abel, whom his brother Cain killed; and Saint Munchin, Patron of Limerick, Ireland, 7th century.

3. the feast of saint genevieve

Severe but patriotic virgin, 500

Patron of makers of wall coverings, milliners, Paris, women's army corps; invoked against drought, fever, flood, misfortune, plague * (emblem: a Devil blowing out her candle, an Angel relighting it)

In 429, while visiting the little town of Nanterre, Bishop Saint Germain (for whom the Parisian boulevard is named) "discovered" the seven-year-old Genevieve and predicted great things for her, so long as she remained "clean and untouched." At fifteen she arrived in Paris to receive from his hands the veil of a dedicated virgin. The new nun proceeded to declaim visionary prophesies of doom upon the sinful city, which made her unpopular, especially because Paris was at the time under siege by the barbaric Franks. Then, much to everyone's surprise, the gloomy prophetess personally ran the blockade, returning with boatloads of wheat to feed the starving populace. (She herself subsisted on two meals a week of barley and beans.) In 451, when Attila the Hun and his savage hordes bypassed the city, it was obvious to all that Genevieve's prayers had saved them. Since her death Genevieve has continued to protect her city. In 1129, when an epidemic of ergot poisoning raged in Paris, her holy relics were disinterred and paraded through the streets, which ended the plague, and in 1206 her intercession caused the flooding Seine to subside. The splendid church once dedicated to her was transformed, by godless French revolutionaries, into the Panthéon.

Also: The Feast of Saint Daniel of Padua, a 1st-century Jewish deacon of that city, is invoked by women whose husbands are away at war.

4. the feast of saint angela of foligno

Formerly lusty nun, 1309

Patron of widows * (emblem: holding a Devil chained)

She married young, for money, and bore several children while conducting a series of quite scandalous extramarital affairs, but after her husband's death Angela repented and become a Franciscan recluse, renowned for her piety and penances. She wrote a passionate spiritual autobiography, The Book of the Divine Consolation, in which she describes in detail her mystical marriage to Christ-upon which occasion her Bridegroom endowed her with the Stigmata. Angela is sometimes referred to as the Mistress of Theologians. They wish.

the feast of saint pharaïldis

Poultry-resurrecting widow, 740

Patron of the unhappily married; invoked against childhood illnesses * (emblem: gosling)

This Flemish maiden (who is the official Patroness of the city of Ghent) was the niece of Saint Gertrude of Nivelles. Obliged against her will to marry, Pharaïldis was abused by her brute of a husband. Famously compassionate, she once caused a miraculous fountain to spring from the earth for the thirsty people of Braug. It is there to this day, and its waters continue to be wonderfully effective against a host of childhood illnesses. In art Pharaïldis is pictured holding a goose, in honor of the famous occasion when she-for reasons unknown-restored a roasted fowl not only to life but with its original plumage.

Also: The Feast of Saint Elizabeth "Mother" Seton, daughter of a Staten Island doctor, convert from Anglicanism, founder of the Sisters of Charity, and the first American-born Saint, 1821.

5. the feast of saint edward "the confessor"

Chaste English monarch, 1066

Invoked against scrofula * (emblem: five martlets)

Half Anglo-Saxon and half Norman, this listless and ineffectual king had a reputation for sanctity, based on the rumors that his touch could cure tuberculosis (then known as the king's evil) and that his marriage was unconsummated. Certainly it was without issue, and after six years of it his wife, Edith, went home to mother. In the Anglican Church, Edward's Feast is celebrated on October 13, the date his body was enshrined in Westminster Abbey.

the feast of saint gerlac

Reformed outlaw who went back to nature, 1170

Patron of animals * (emblem: hermit in a tree)

A Dutch soldier of fortune, Gerlac repented of his marauding ways upon being widowed and made a pilgrimage to Rome, where he confessed his many sins of pillage to Pope Eugenius III. After doing penance for seven years, he made his home in a hollow tree. Curiously, this eccentric hermit became a great friend of the estimable Saint Hildegard.

the feast of saint simeon stylites

Popular pillar-sitting anchorite, 459

Patron of shepherds * (emblem: pillar)

The most famous of the desert hermits known as anchorites was the son of a Syrian shepherd. He entered a local monastery at the age of thirteen but was expelled because of the extreme mortifications he performed (such as winding his body with chains until his flesh was raw and delicately replacing maggots when they emerged from his wounds for a breath of air). He became a solitary hermit on a mountaintop, but his flamboyant holiness (he dressed in wild beast skins and performed prodigious feats of fasting) inspired crowds to seek him out for their edification-or, perhaps, entertainment. To escape their unwanted attentions he took up residence on top of a ten-foot-high pillar. Curiously enough, this attracted even greater crowds, and for the remaining thirty-five years of his life Simeon lived on a series of ever-higher pillars. His final earthly home was a six-foot-square platform on a pillar sixty feet high.

Also: The Feast of Saint John Neumann, German-born bishop of Philadelphia, 1860.

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Excerpted from The Birthday Book of Saints: Your Powerful Personal Patrons for Every Blessed Day of the Year by Sean Kelly, Rosemary Rogers
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.