Have you ever wished that someone had told you ahead of time how a problem could be avoided?Do you feel like no one understands where you're coming from?Now there's a blueprint that can offer you comfort, motivation, and real solutions.When Yasmin Shiraz launchedMad Rhythms, a hip-hop magazine aimed at college students, she visited youth organizations and colleges across the country to teach young people how to effectively pursue their dreams. Drawn to Yasmin's confidence and determination, young women in particular sought her opinion on topics such as body image, popularity, dating, sexuality, child-parent relationships, and social and academic pressures. Yasmin could easily speak to those issues. She struggled with many of the same concerns when she was younger.Inspired by the common threads connecting each generation, Yasmin developedThe Blueprint for My Girlsto help young women discover who they are, develop a sense of self, and stay positive. In the book, Yasmin pairs her personal stories with 99 "expressions" designed to help readers deal with situations they may not feel comfortable discussing with friends and family. Each expression is accompanied by exercises to help readers progress on their journey.Staying real without being preachy,The Blueprint for My Girlswill be a solution giver, a problem solver, and a friend in need for generations to come.

Yasmin Shiraz is the former publisher of Mad Rhythms magazine. She is also the founder of College Entertainment, Inc. and president of The Signals Agency. Her website is www.yasminshiraz.net. She resides in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

Foreward	p. VIII
Introduction	p. 2
Foundation	p. 4
Composition	p. 60
Fortification	p. 126
Author's Note	p. 167
Preview of Platinum Changes Things	p. 168
About the Author	p. 178
Table of Contents provided by Rittenhouse. All Rights Reserved.

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Introduction

When I was growing up as a teenager in America I had insecurities. I had dreams that I didn't know how to chase. And I had experiences with family, friends, school, and boys that I didn't understand. I wanted to tell somebody what I was going through but I didn't think they would understand. So I began writing about these things in my diaries. Somehow writing them down helped me to deal with them, solve them, and even get past some of the confusion and hurt. In college I faced tougher, more complex problems. Again I turned to my diaries. Jotting down my experiences in my journals has allowed me to look at what I was going through and to be real with myself. And through that process I repaired my self-esteem; I learned to aim high. And I got stronger. I'm still learning, and my journal remains a constant listener, problem solver, and confidant.

After graduating from Hampton University, I founded a college-circulated hip-hop magazine calledMad Rhythms. I visited several campuses to talk to college students about entertainment careers. At the end of my lectures young women came up to me to share their problems. Many of them were suffering with the same insecurities I had experienced, struggling with being misunderstood, dealing with family crises, and having problematic relationships with their boyfriends. They always asked for my advice. After these one-on-one discussions I went back to my hotel room and thought about the kinds of challenges that each young lady was facing. When I returned home I began searching through my old diaries for some of the answers. I figured I had survived many of the same issues; maybe my diary could help them find some answers. That's when a light went off in my head. I needed to write a book for my girls -- girls who are facing dilemmas, need advice, and need to talk to somebody, just as I did.

Have you gone through something and wished someone had told you ahead of time how the problem could be avoided? Have people given you advice that you didn't realize was wrong until you felt it was too late to do anything about it? Have you felt isolated and alone in dealing with problems, like no one could understand where you're coming from? If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, thenThe Blueprint for My Girlswill offer you comfort, motivation, and solutions.

I've separated the book into three phases: Foundation, Composition, and Fortification. Each phase contains various expressions that can assist you with analyzing, handling, and resolving challenges that come your way so that you can develop into a strong young woman. I've included my personal testimony on every page. Some of these diary entries were painful for me to share. With others, I was an outsider looking at how the people around me were behaving. All of these testimonies guided me in becoming the person I am today.

You may not relate to every entry, but there will be many that you can relate to. When you are going through an experience and need a source of strength, flip through the book again and see how I handled similar challenges. I've also included a testimony section with exercises that will help you get real with yourself regarding what is happening in your life. Learn from my mistakes. This book was written for you about your experiences, your trials, and your triumphs. This book is my journal from me to you. Use it as a solution getter, a problem solver, and a friend in need. My best hope is that reading about my experiences will help empower you to make the best possible decisions of your life.

Yasmin Shiraz

February 2004

Expression 1: Say what's on your mind.

There are thoughts that we have that are never shared because we're afraid of how we are going to be perceived or if others will agree. There are people on this earth who will live seventy years, and no one will know what they stood for or what they represented because they never said what was on their minds.

MY TESTIMONY

I don't like sensing danger. It took me about fifteen years to articulate that to anyone. I don't like being in areas where I anticipate accidents. I don't favor going to playgrounds and seeing children playing when they are not supervised. I don't enjoy going to pools when the lifeguards are not thinking about saving anyone's life. My family always used to chalk this up to quirkiness, but it wasn't quirkiness. It was a deep feeling that I had. Now that I have told my family how I feel, they understand my position a lot better.

BLUEPRINT

God gave me my voice. I must use it to speak.

YOUR TESTIMONY

Think of a time when you didn't say what was on your mind but you should have. Jot down what you should have said. Now go in front of the mirror and loudly say what you've written down. Hear your voice.

Expression 2: Be a person of hope.

When everything around you looks bleak, be a person of hope. Even if your heart is broken again and again, be a person of hope. And when you're tired of trying and your strength is gone, be a person of hope.

MY TESTIMONY

At twenty-four years of age, I decided to start an entertainment magazine. I didn't know enough about publishing to be discouraged; instead, I hoped that the business would lead to a full life for me. I had never taken any classes on magazine publishing, and I didn't have any connections in the entertainment business. I believed that I could work hard enough for people to give me a chance. I trusted that entering the entertainment business on my own would lead me to network with kindred souls who could assist me in realizing my goals. I didn't know if it would happen for sure, but I continued ambitiously. Now, years later, after trying times in the magazine publishing industry, I realize that my aspirations have been the strength and the light that have led me to a greater path. And, in the days when things weren't going my way, I really wouldn't have had anything if I didn't have hope.

BLUEPRINT

I will live my life as a person full of hope.

YOUR TESTIMONY

What would you like to happen to you, your life, and/or your environment? Write down at least three things and write down three reasons why these things should happen to you.

Expression 3: Be thankful for everything.

Be thankful for all that you have. There are always people who will have more than you. But then, there are always those who will have less. There is no sense in complaining about what we don't have.

MY TESTIMONY

When I was a little girl, my dad would come home and give me fifty-cent pieces. These were the coins with President John F. Kennedy featured on the head. It didn't have to be a special occasion or anything. In return, I wrote him poems about how great a father he was and how thankful I was for the coins. As I made friends in middle school, I realized many of them didn't know who their fathers were and some friends had horrible, abusive relationships with their fathers. I can remember taking my dad for granted, even though I had written those poems, but the more that I understood how special having a relationship with your father is, the more thankful I was for mine.

BLUEPRINT

I will spend more time being thankful for everything that I have.

YOUR TESTIMONY

What are the things that you are most thankful for? What would your life be like if you didn't have them?

Expression 4: Do what you say.

People like to know that you can be counted on. There are so many unreliable individuals in the world that folks are actually thirsting for those who can be held to their word.

MY TESTIMONY

Even though I love my father, he has a way of saying that he's going to do something, and then when I'm really looking forward to it, he pulls out of the commitment. Some of his reasons for reneging on his promises are good. Some are bad. Over the years, I've come to rely less and less on what he says. He might state that he's coming to visit for my birthday every day for six months, but I don't believe him until I see him on the doorstep. I will always love my father, but our relationship has no strength in verbal commitment.

BLUEPRINT

When I say that I am going to do something, I will do it.

YOUR TESTIMONY

What was the last promise that you broke? Why did you go back on your word? How did it make you feel?

Foreword

In Yasmin Shiraz's inspirational guidebook, a new generation of women can rediscover timeless values to help navigate the sometimes perilous journey involved in coming of age. This invaluable blueprint dispenses pearls of wisdom about achievement, strong work ethic, dignity, self-respect, family solidarity, love, sexuality, personal responsibility, personal integrity, courage, and fortitude. This daughter of experience, a cohort of Generation X, has codified and made relevant for today's young women, in a manner that is far beyond her years, the wise counsels of foremothers who traditionally passed down their acumen and life's lessons through oral tradition.

At a time when younger women are being disconnected from their ancestral value system, one that helped in developing important coping skills and in equipping them with a clarity of course for charting life's rough seas, this guidebook is a welcome moral compass. Clearly, it can reconnect a younger generation to its roots, while serving as a bridge of hope to help them build a strong personal foundation to address future challenges.

A Senegalese proverb states, "The truth is like gold: keep it locked up and you will find it exactly as you first put it away." Shiraz has not locked up her golden nuggets for herself; instead, she has graciously given the passkey to other to unlock and share a treasure trove of time-tested truths.

Lois Benjamin, Ph.D.

Endowed University Professor of Sociology,

Hampton University

Author ofBlack Elite: Facing the Color Line in the Twilight of the Twentieth Century and Three Black Generations at the Crossroads: Community, Culture and Consciousness

Hampton, Virginia

December 2001

Excerpted from The Blueprint for My Girls: How to Build a Life Full of Courage, Determination, and Self-love by Yasmin Shiraz
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.