Boost Your Self-Esteem with CBT: A Teach Yourself Guide

by Wilding, Christine; Palmer, Stephen

• ISBN13: 9780071701044
• ISBN10: 0071701044
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-04-19
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill

Summary

Improve your self-esteem by mastering the principles of CBTUsing the proven techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy, this book will help you understand the impact that poor self-esteem could be having on your life and give you the tools you need to turn self-criticism into self-acceptance. It will help you tackle and change the negative beliefs that cause you anxiety and pain. You will become fundamentally more confident, content and at ease with yourself.You can also visit teachyourself.com for tests, extension articles and a vibrant community of like-minded learners. And if you don't have much time, don't worry--this book gives you one-, five-, and 10-minute bites of learning to get you started.

Author Biography

Christine Wilding holds a post-graduate diploma in cognitive behavioural therapy from the University of London and is a practising CBT therapist at the Cygnet Hospital, Sevenoaks, Kent, as well as in private and corporate practice. Christine is also a chartered human resource practitioner specialising in workplace stress management and inter-personal skills training.

Stephen Palmer is founder director of the Centre for Stress Management, honorary professor of psychology at City University, coaching trainer and consultant, and editor of numerous journals.

Table of Contents

Meet the authors	p. ix
Only got a minute?	p. x
Only got five minutes?	p. xii
Only got ten minutes?	p. xvi
Introduction	p. xxii
Great self-esteem: what is it?	p. 1
What is self-esteem?	p. 1
Childhood origins	p. 3
Adulthood: time to tackle low self-esteem	p. 4
Introducing your Personal Fault Finder	p. 8
The importance of risk taking	p. 11
The consequences of low self-esteem	p. 12
Introducing self-acceptance	p. 15
Your personal view of yourself	p. 21
Goal setting	p. 23
Thinking your way out of low self-esteem	p. 28
Identifying the problem	p. 28
The different levels of thinking	p. 30
Beliefs versus facts	p. 31
Negative thoughts, assumptions and beliefs	p. 32
Rules for living	p. 36
The role of emotion in low self-esteem	p. 38
Self-defeating behaviour	p. 42
Replacing self-defeating thoughts and beliefs	p. 46
Recognizing distorted thinking patterns	p. 51
More tools to help you challenge self-defeating thoughts	p. 56
Tackling negative beliefs	p. 64
Bringing your positive qualities into focus	p. 74
The perfection trap	p. 79
What is perfectionism?	p. 79
Challenging perfectionist beliefs	p. 85
Developing healthier values	p. 87
Defeat low self-esteem by developing self-acceptance	p. 92
Developing self-acceptance	p. 92
Healthy versus unhealthy self-acceptance	p. 94
'It's not my fault: life is against me'	p. 103
The low self-esteem victim	p. 103
Self-pity: blaming yourself rather than others	p. 107
Taking responsibility for your feelings	p. 109
Don't give up	p. 111
Increase your self-esteem through assertiveness	p. 114
The role of assertiveness in good self-esteem	p. 114
Assertiveness skills	p. 115
The four behaviour types	p. 118
Behaving assertively	p. 124
Being assertive with yourself	p. 126
Your assertive rights	p. 128
Act your way to good self-esteem	p. 132
'Faking' good self-esteem	p. 132
Master confident body language	p. 133
Cultivate a confident expression	p. 134
Develop a confident-sounding voice	p. 136
First impressions	p. 138
Body image	p. 142
Is your body image a problem?	p. 142
How does poor body image affect you?	p. 144
Say 'Goodbye' to poor body image	p. 146
Making changes	p. 152
Becoming an optimist	p. 155
Increasing optimism	p. 156
Positive thinking	p. 158
Self-esteem and relationships	p. 165
Why low self-esteem blights relationships	p. 165
How to gain confidence in your relationship	p. 167
Using openness and honesty	p. 171
Surviving a break-up with your self-esteem intact	p. 173
Developing emotional strength	p. 177
What is resilience?	p. 177
The characteristics of resilience	p. 180
Develop emotional strength by improving resilience	p. 184
Sources of resilience	p. 186
Understanding resilience as a process	p. 188
Developing resilience	p. 189
Developing as a person to increase self-esteem	p. 194
The keys to the kingdom: your values	p. 194
Which values are important to you?	p. 196
Creating your personal plan	p. 199
Working on your values	p. 200
Tackling serious errors of judgement	p. 204
Deeply held negative feelings	p. 208
Feedback from others can be helpful	p. 209
Moving forward: your goal plan	p. 213
professional assistance	p. 216
alcohol dependency and abusive relationships	p. 219
Taking it further	p. 222
References and further reading	p. 223
Index	p. 226
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