If the Buddha Dated : A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path

by Kasl, Charlotte (Author)

• ISBN13: 9780140195835
• ISBN10: 0140195831
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-02-01
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)

Summary

In this practical, playful, yet spiritual guide, Charlotte Kasl, author of the highly successful Finding Joy: 101 Ways to Free Your Spirit and Dance with Life, shows you what it would be like to have the ancient wisdom of the Buddha to guide you through the dating process. Kasl brings a compassionate understanding to the anxiety and uneasiness of new love, and helps readers discover their potential for vibrant human connection based on awareness, kindness, and honesty. She approaches the dating process as a means for awakening, reminding us that when we live by spiritual rules, we bring curiosity and a light heart to the romantic journey. Filled with quotations from Zen, Sufi, and other wisdom traditions, and informed by the experiences of people from all walks of life, here is a relationship book that will appeal to readers looking for more than a Venus-meets-Mars solution to the complex affairs of the heart.

Author Biography

Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., has been a practicing psychotherapist, workshop leader, Quaker, and Reiki healer for over twenty years. She has had a longtime involvement with feminism, Eastern spiritual practices, and alternative healing, bringing an empowering holistic approach to all her work. Her books include If the Buddha Married, Finding Joy, Many Roads, One Journey, and the classic Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power. Formerly of Minneapolis, Minnesota, she now lives in an octagonal house on a mountain near Missoula, Montana.

Table of Contents

Introduction: What This Book Can and Can't Do for you	p. xiii
Preparation For Love: Walking a Path of Truth and Loving Kindness
If the Buddha Dated--or Anyone on a Spiritual Path	p. 3
Ground Yourself with Spiritual Wisdom	p. 6
What Is This Longing for an Intimate Relationship?	p. 16
Stay Loyal to Your Journey	p. 20
Notice the Stories You Tell Yourself	p. 25
Accept the Dance of Oneness and Separateness	p. 29
Be Willing to Cook in the Spiritual Fire	p. 34
Be Guided by Spirit, Not Ego	p. 38
Spiritual Equality: One Set of Rules for Men and Women	p. 43
Practice Loving Kindness to Yourself and Others	p. 50
Awaken Your Desire: Who Are You? What do You Want?
Call Out to the Universe	p. 55
Seek a True Equal	p. 59
Explore the Ways You Bond	p. 62
Fused or Free?: Understanding the Path to Intimacy	p. 69
Define What You Want	p. 75
Define What You Have to Give	p. 79
When to Trust the Power of Attraction	p. 81
Free Your Heart-Make Peace with your Parents	p. 85
Resolve "Unfinished Business" with Family, Friends, and Past Lovers or Spouses	p. 88
Experience the Spacious Mind: Observe Your Limiting Beliefs About How People Meet	p. 94
Enter the Sacred Fire: The Journey Toward Intimacy
Crawling in Love: Explore the Benefits of Staying Conscious	p. 99
Using Ads, Dating Services, and Singles Clubs	p. 101
Remember, First Dates Are Just a Moment in Time	p. 108
Children and Dating: Enough Love for All	p. 113
Notes on Same-Sex Dating: Free from the Rules	p. 116
When the Buddha Makes Love: Sexuality, Spirituality	p. 120
How to Find Yourself When You Lose Yourself: Take Refuge in the Buddha	p. 127
Notice the Flow of Giving and Receiving	p. 131
Keep Loyal to Your Journey: Stay Awake, Stay Aware
Make Friends with Your Fears	p. 135
Make Friends with Your Ambivalence	p. 138
Practice Tonglin: A Meditation for Healing and Compassion	p. 140
Tonglin Meditation for Couples	p. 144
What to Do When you Want to Run	p. 145
Be a Spiritual Warrior: Set a Bottom Line	p. 149
What's That Buzzing in My Brain?: Handling Obsessions	p. 156
Set Your Attraction Radar to Find a Loving Partner	p. 159
Is It Written in the Stars--or on a Page?: Astrology and Graphology	p. 160
Accept Impermanence, Loss, and Joy	p. 165
Going Deeper: Create a Durable Fire
Going Deeper: Finding Love Beneath Illusions	p. 171
The Sacred Circle of Beginnings and Endings	p. 174
Stair Steps to Heaven: Get in, Get out, Move on, and Learn	p. 177
Notice the Bittersweet Moments of New Love	p. 180
Help the Relationship Expand with Creativity and Playfulness	p. 182
Living in the Heart of the Beloved: We Are One with Each Other
Enjoy the Special Story of How You Met	p. 189
Little Commitments: The Daily Bread of Intimacy	p. 192
Taking Stock: Listening to Your Buddha Nature	p. 195
Big Commitments: The Samaya "Marriage"	p. 198
When Nothing Works: Remember Lovers Are a Gift from the Universe	p. 200
Tasting the Sweetness: Remember You Are Love, Lover, and Beloved	p. 202
Recommended Reading	p. 207
Resources	p. 211
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