Caring for God's People : Counseling and Christian Wholeness

by Culbertson, Philip L.

• ISBN13: 9780800631871
• ISBN10: 0800631870
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 1999-12-01
• Publisher: Fortress Pr

Summary

Culbertson has built his text around the ideal of Christian wholeness and maturity-a healthy interconnectedness of self-within-community. The heart of the book lies in its presentation of the three schools of counseling theory that Culbertson finds most helpful: family systems theory, narrative counseling theory, and object relations theory. Each of these is explained in detail, and then applied to the most common and challenging of counseling situations: pre-marital counseling, marriage counseling, divorce counseling, counseling gay men and women, and grief counseling. Culbertson brings new sensitivities to the counseling scene-a more nuanced grasp of gender, a new sense of families, issues of sexual orientation, a strong sense of the relationship of emotions to spirituality, an empathetic attitude, a pragmatic but professional mix of ancillary theories, and a sense of the relevance of the counselor's own self-understanding.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	vii
Introduction	1	(11)
Part One: The Theory
Family Systems Theory	12	(32)
The Family as System	13	(1)
The Nuclear Family	14	(6)
Sociometrics and Systems Theory	20	(7)
Applying Family Systems Theory	27	(7)
Feminism and Family Systems Theory	34	(1)
Conclusion	35	(9)
Appendix A	38	(4)
Appendix B	42	(2)
Narrative Counseling Theory	44	(29)
The Historical Value of Stories	44	(1)
The Many Types of Stories	45	(1)
The Structure of a Simple Story	46	(2)
Multiple Endings, Multiple Meanings	48	(1)
Metaphors, Axioms, and Nuclear Stories	49	(20)
Family Narratives	49	(9)
Self-Defining Narratives	58	(8)
Intersubjective Narratives	66	(2)
Addressing Narratives in Counseling	68	(1)
Conclusion	69	(4)
Object Relations Theory and Intersubjective Narratives	73	(39)
Assumptions and Adaptability of Object Relations Theory	73	(1)
The Formation of Object Representations	74	(3)
The Historical Development of Object Relations Theory	77	(4)
The Development and Structure of the Object-Self	81	(1)
Internalizing the Object-Other	82	(2)
Splitting	84	(3)
Projection and Projective Identification	87	(3)
The Holding Environment	90	(1)
Mirroring and Cueing	91	(2)
The Inner World of the Primary Parent	93	(2)
The Infant's World and Transitional Phenomena	95	(2)
Connecting Narrative and Object Relations	97	(2)
Object Relations and Christian Faith	99	(1)
A Trinity of Gods	100	(2)
Human Infancy and the Object-God	102	(2)
The ``Pet God'' and Faith Development	104	(3)
Conclusion	107	(5)
Part Two: The Application
Premarital Counseling	112	(29)
Who Needs Premarital Counseling?	113	(2)
When to Schedule Premarital Counseling	115	(2)
Session 2: Taking Care of Business	117	(3)
Session 3-6: And the Two Shall Be One	120	(13)
Session 7: The Theology of Marriage	133	(1)
Who Should Be Present in Premarital Sessions?	134	(1)
Remarriage	135	(1)
Conclusion	136	(5)
A Customary for Weddings at Christ Church	139	(2)
Marriage Counseling	141	(18)
The Witness of Scripture and History	142	(1)
Is There a ``Right'' Way to Be Married?	143	(2)
The Destructive Power of Unresolved Issues	145	(1)
Marriage as a Developmental Process	146	(2)
The Nine Tasks in a Healthy Marriage	148	(3)
The Characteristics of a Good Marriage	151	(1)
What Makes a Marriage Christian?	152	(2)
Counseling Skills for Effective Ministry	154	(3)
Conclusion	157	(2)
Divorce Counseling	159	(31)
The Shock of Marriage	159	(1)
The Reasons for Divorce	160	(4)
Divorce Narratives	164	(1)
Divorce within Family Systems	165	(2)
Cultural Factors in Divorce	167	(1)
The Stages of Divorce	167	(5)
Divorce Counseling and Divorce Mediation Telling the Kids	172	(1)
Divorce and Object Relations Theory	173	(3)
The Effect of Divorce on Children	176	(4)
Post-Divorce Parenting	180	(3)
Divorce and the Church	183	(2)
Normalizing Divorce	185	(1)
Conclusion	186	(4)
Counseling Gays and Lesbians	190	(28)
Pastoral Attitudes and Counseling Skills	191	(2)
Coming Out as a Developmental Process	193	(4)
Orientation, Preference, or Behavior? Identity and Community	197	(2)
Counseling Teens about Gay Idnetity	199	(3)
Counseling Married Adults Who Are Coming Out	202	(4)
Counseling Gay Couples for Permanency	206	(3)
Spiritual Direction with Gays and Lesbians	209	(2)
Conclusion	211	(7)
Appendix	214	(4)
Ministry with Those Who Mourn	218	(38)
Normalizing Death	218	(1)
Anticipatory, Normal, and Acute Grief	219	(1)
Death and Human Culture	220	(2)
Mourning Rituals	222	(1)
The Shape of Grief Work	223	(6)
Good Grief and Bad Grief	229	(2)
Some Dos and Don'ts of Caring for Mourners	231	(3)
Mourning and Object Relations Theory	234	(2)
Mourning and Family Systems Theory	236	(4)
Mourning and Narrative Counseling Theory	240	(3)
Mourning and Human Development	243	(4)
Gender Differences in Mourning	247	(1)
Pastoral Care of Those Who Are HIV-Positive	248	(2)
Mourning a Loss by Suicide	250	(1)
Conclusion	251	(5)
Part Three: Staying Safe in Ministry
The Praxis of Pastoral Counseling	256	(21)
The Art of Counseling	256	(1)
Pastoral Care or Cheap Therapy?	257	(1)
The Physical Geography of Counseling	258	(1)
Intake Counseling	259	(1)
Short-Term Counseling	260	(2)
Long-Term Counseling	262	(1)
Dynamics of the Counseling Session	263	(8)
Levels of Meaning in the Counseling Relationship	271	(1)
The Principles of Active Listening	272	(1)
Expectations for a Cure	273	(1)
Confidentiality and Counseling Supervision	274	(1)
Counseling Crossculturally	274	(1)
Conclusion	275	(2)
Pastoral Congruence and Ministry Supervision	277	(41)
Can One Be ``Too Wounded'' for Ministry?	277	(1)
How Widespread Is Pastoral Woundedness?	278	(1)
Woundedness vs. Congruence	279	(2)
Defining Pastoral Congruence	281	(4)
A Second Type of Congruence	285	(1)
``Nothing Is Foreign to Me''	286	(1)
The Price of Incongruence	287	(2)
Achieving Pastoral Congruence through Ministry Supervision	289	(2)
What Clinical Ministry Supervision Is Not	291	(1)
Self-Supervision	292	(1)
Individual Clinical Supervision	293	(9)
Ministry Supervision and the Health of the Larger Church	302	(1)
Group and Peer Supervision	303	(1)
Gender Issues in Supervision	304	(2)
Narrative Theory and Supervision	306	(3)
Toxic and Benign Shame during Supervision	309	(1)
Conclusion	310	(8)
Appendix	315	(3)
Conclusion	318	(5)
Index	323