Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents

by Brown, Nina W.

• ISBN13: 9781572242319
• ISBN10: 1572242310
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-01-01
• Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Inc

Summary

Millions of adults have immature, self-absorbed parents who made their children responsible for their physical and emotional well-being. Here psychologist Brown helps grown children come to terms with the results of such an upbringing, including tendencies to overcomply to others' needs, withdraw when someone needs nurturing, and lack self-esteem.

Table of Contents

Foreword	ix
Acknowledgments	xi
Destructive Narcissistic Parents	1	(16)
The DNP Illustrated
You May Have a Similar Parent
Narcissism---Who Needs It?
Healthy Adult Narcissism
A Sense of Humor
Range of Emotions
Stable Narcissism
Pathological Narcissism
Does Your Parent Have a Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (DNP)?	17	(24)
The Child as Parent
The Effects of Parentification
Identifying a Parental DNP
Your Parent's Rating
Gaining Perspective
What Can Be Done?
Adult Children of Parents with a DNP	41	(30)
The Impact of Your Parent(s) on Your Functioning
Taking a Personal Inventory
What Can Be Done?
Protective and Coping Strategies	71	(22)
Why Use Protective Strategies?
Splitting
Projection
Identification
Polarities
Projective Identification
Protective Strategies---What They Are and Why You Need Them
Coping Strategies
Empowering Strategies	93	(20)
Bipolar States
Criticism and Blame
Counterproductive Responses
Devaluing, Demeaning Comments
Manipulation
Build, Develop, and Fortify Your ``Self''	113	(16)
Writing Exercises
Nonverbal Expressive Exercises
Getting Grounded
Becoming Aware and Making Conscious Choices	129	(20)
Awareness Expansion
Making Conscious Choices
More Growth Strategies: Empathy	149	(22)
Why You May Have Underdeveloped Empathy
Separation
Individuation
Becoming the ``You'' That You Want to Be
Empathic Failures
Increasing Empathic Responses
Identifying Empathic Responses
Building Humor and Creativity	171	(22)
Hurtful Humor
Your Best Defenses
Healthy Humor
Creativity
Building Your Creativity
Wrap-up Thoughts	193	(12)
Give Up Your Fantasy
Accept Your Limitations
Protect Yourself
Self-Exploration and Assessment
Developing Your Healthy Narcissism
Understand Your Parent
Be Patient with Yourself
Celebrate Your Progress
Final Words
References	205